MORE BOOKS!

I just bid on a pretty big lot of Baby Sitters Little Sister books ( I know all of my dear readers love those recaps) and also on ” Crash Landing” the Sweet Valley High book where Enid Rollins is injured in a plane crash. I never read that book as a kid but I adore reading the recaps of it as an adult, so I can’t wait to read it!!! I also bought a Taffy Sinclair book- the one where Taffy ” makes over” Melanie and as soon as that comes, I will be reading it and recapping- which yes may put a slight wrinkle in my upcoming recaps, but ah well it is what it is. I am just too excited NOT read it right away!

In a few months time I may be moving in with my Jeffrey French like BF so I will have to sell a lot of my YA novels but not to worry- I have plenty I haven’t read yet that I will keep so that recaps WILL keep coming! I know this blog may end eventually- BUT NOT ANYTIME SOON! And if I do get ideations to stop this blog, you guys will know- but for now I am having WAY too much fun to stop working on this blog!!

Happy weekend to all! And upon weekend’s end ( or OK by Wednesday the latest) enjoy a recap of Won’t Someone Help Anna? And- yes- here is one of my famous L-O-N-G list of BOOKS TO COME! and remember in between these my Taffy Sinclair book MAY be recapped! and oh yes I did forget- I have a huge lot of Freshman Dorm comin’ soon!! YAY!!!!

BSC #48- Jessi’s Wish

The Fabulous Five #8- The Runaway Crisis

The Gymnasts #13- First Date

BSC #56- Keep Out, Claudia!

Sweet Valley High #74- The Perfect Girl

Sweet Valley Twins #3- The Haunted House

Sweet Valley Kids #23- Lila’s Haunted House Party

SVT #44- Amy Moves In

The Fabulous Five #24- The Great TV Turnoff

Sleepover Friends #26- The New Kate

Sweet Valley Kids #3- The Twins’ Mystery Teacher

BSC Little Sister #10- Karen’s Grandmothers

Sweet Valley Twins #4- Choosing Sides

BSC #1- Kristy’s Great Idea

BSC Little Sister #15-Karen’s in Love

Sleepover Friends #27- Where’s Patti?

Freshman Dorm #15- Freshman Dorm

BSC Super Special 11- the Baby Sitters Remember

Sweet Valley Kids #39- Ellen is Home Alone

Sleepover Friends #11- Stephanie’s Family Secret

Freshman Dorm 27- Freshman Passion

 

GOD- I will be BUSY these next few months- and if I am REALLY ambitious I hope to have ALL OF THESE recapped by the New Year!

for readers who didn’t see this yet…

http://13readingat30.wordpress.com/2009/08/04/svu-9-sorority-scandal/

 

My recap of Sorority Scandal for those of you who want to catch up before reading ” No means no!!”

A VERY SPECIAL SVU….

Yep here it comes- part 1 of the ” very special episode” series- Sweet Valley University #10 ” No Means No.”

If everyone has not read my Sorority Scandal post please do so- I am so technologically retarded I have no clue how to go back and copy it here but look under my Sweet Valley category and you will find it – well if you did read my Sorority Scandal blog you remember that in that book Lila and Bruce had their plane crash in the mountains and they still have not been found. Much as I love Lila, I am not really going to write much about this particular plotline- well the beginning of this book starts with Lila knocking out a wolf with a stick and wondering where Bruce is.  Jessica is cuddling with and talking to her brand new man, James Montgomery, and Jessica feels his clean cut looks are a refreshing change from the rugged looks of Jessica’s ex hubby Mike McAllery. Just so we know, James appreciates Jessica’s California girl blonde good  looks as well.  Jessica is trying to tell James about how she foiled Prof Martin’s attempts to seduce and blackmail Elizabeth but James isn’t really listening and wants to just kiss Jessica, and Jessica is a little peeved.  As Jessica finishes her story on Prof Martin ( she says that she gets Prof Martin to drop the charges against Jessica for theft by saying she will not have Liz charge Prof Martin with sexual harassment). James says ” poor guy” and says that guys have been coming in to girls since the beginning of time and ” now it’s illegal?” ummm and remember ladies we aren’t supposed to think of this douche as a rapist.  Jessica gets pissed of course, and then James assures Jess he is always on her side.  Jessica then tells James she is going to tell the Thetas that Alison Quinn from the Theta house blackmailed Jessica. James says he’d rather face the toughest team on the football field than face Alison Quinn.  James then wants to know when he is going to meet Elizabeth.  Jessica promises that James will meet Liz after the tailgate party this afternoon.

Elizabeth and some chick named Maia that I swear we never meet before this book have to write a paper on any topic related to gender, and both girls are having a hard time thinking up a topic. Elizabeth suggests writing about how SVU should have a consensual sex policy- much like Antioch College in Ohio did in the 1990’s- they instituted a policy where someone would ask someone else if they consented to all levels of sexual activity from what I recall- eg- ” Would you mind if we kissed? Can I touch your boobs?” etc. If I could possibly find the article on the policy somewhere, I will also post it up  and here it be .http://www.mit.edu/activities/safe/data/other/antioch-code. Maia doesn’t seem that enthused about writing about the policy because she says there’s no way it would stop date rape.  Elizabeth says it may not stop date rape but it may be a decent first step.  Maia then says any man would who ask before every step of a sexual encounter is probably not a man you should be afraid of.  Elizabeth then remarks that it’s perfect football weather and it seems everyone is going to the game. Maia remarks that she doesn’t get how people don’t have better things to do with their time than going to a dumb football game.  Elizabeth is wondering if Maia is going to be negative about everything in the world.  Tom comes in to say hello and Maia barely greets Tom.  Tom made some sandwiches for the football game and asks if Maia would like to join them and have some sandwiches.  Maia says no because she has no team spirit and doesn’t like jocks.  Tom is all upset because Tom is a former jock, and Maia says she doesn’t mean Tom.  Maia then says she will see Elizabeth and Tom later.  Tom asks if Liz still wants to go and she says yes because she definitely has to see Jess’s new main squeeze.

Lila is still battling with the wolf and crap, but Bruce has joined her.  Bruce saves Lila from the wolf and Lila is all hot and bothered. God I am sorry but I just don’t care about this shit plotline- let me just tell you guys that eventually this makes Li and Bruce fall in love and yes as I always felt Lila and Bruce deserved each other this made me happy, and they get rescued eventually. So moving on…

Alexandra Rollins is SUPER hung over from drinking tons of vodka last night. Yes, the nerd formerly known as Enid is now a total lush.  Enid/Alex is thinking a lot about Todd Wilkins, who I guess Alexandra recently had some one night stand with, but Todd has made it clear that he and Alexandra are just friends. Alexandra is also thinking a little bit about this guy in her psychology class named Noah Pearson who always says hello to her and is pretty cute.  Alexandra thinks that a guy like Noah would never go for a lush like her.  Alexandra then sees a note on the bulletin board- Need help? Call this hotline 24 hours a day.  Alexandra initally thinks it’s a crock, then thinks it may be nice to have someone to talk to.  Alexandra thinks of how she has no real friends- her sorority sisters are not girls she can talk to at all, her relationship with Mark Gathers is over, obviously Todd is no good friend of hers, and Alex decided to ditch Elizabeth as soon as she got to college- Alex then says to her vodka bottle ” it’s just you and me, friend” and drinks some more.

Bruce thinks Lila looks hot in long johns.  Before Elizabeth meets James Montgomery, she thinks of how perfect he sounds for Jessica- pre med, only a sophomore and not an ” older” man like Mike McAllery, and he is a football player and of course athletes are automatically awesome.  So Elizabeth and Tom meet James and Tom congratulates James on his win, and James says ” no, no OUR game” and Elizabeth admires how teamwork oriented James is.  Based on their two minute meeting, Elizabeth and Tom declare James ” polished and polite” and a perfect man for Jessica. Then again Liz fell in love with William White. And speaking 0f- there’s also William White shit in this book. He wants Elizabeth all to himself. BLAH BLAH BLAH

Jessica is wearing her old cheerleading uniform and her necklace with the megaphone on it for her date to the Theta costume party with James.  The Thetas all rave about how hot Jess looks in her old cheerleading uniform. Isabella is dressed as a Harlequin clown, and Denise Waters is dressed as a cat, in case any of you all care. The girls are also all impressed that James is Jessica’s date and one girl says ” oh he’s great except when he drinks.” UMMMMMMMMMMM.. and Jessica is all ” oh no James doesn’t drink.”  Then Alison Quinn shows up and Jessica accuses her of the blackmail against all of the Thetas. Magda, the Theta prez, hear Jessica and Alison argue and Magda says that since they only have Alison’s word against Jessica’s the sorority will have a house vote on whether Jessica is back in the Theta house or not.  Elizabeth is headed to the bash dressed as a scarecrow and sees Maia- Maia is wearing huge, baggy sweats and Liz asks why Maia is always dressed in such baggy clothing- did she gain 10 lbs? Maia says no, she’s lost a few in fact.  Elizabeth asks why Maia is cooped up in the dorm on a Saturday night and Elizabeth would like to help Maia if she can.  Maia says Liz is nice but doesn’t say much else. Liz finally gets Maia to go to the costume party with her and Tom but Maia refuses to wear a costume.

Maia asks Elizabeth where her twin sister is. Elizabeth points her out, and says Jess is with her new man. When Maia sees James, she just turns white and won’t say a word. Gee, WHY???  Then as Liz looks around , Maia is completely gone all of a sudden.  Tom says he saw Maia running to her dorm and Elizabeth finds that odd.  Tom then says costume parties aren’t his thing and he and Liz leave to go to the beach and make out. Liz figures something must have bothered Maia for her to rush out like that,but puts it right of her mind- because Liz is so darn sensitive. 

Alex dressed as a flapper for the costume party. Isabella says Alexandra has barely been around the house lately and wonders if Alex is going to depledge. Alex says no and does Isabella want her to depledge? Is says no, but is just wondering why Alex is never around anymore.  Alex is all stumbling around and her breath totes smells like booze.  Isabella does tell Alexandra that she needs to clean up her act a little- I mean who’s ever heard of a drunk sorority girl???  Isabella says Alex needs to forget about Mark Gathers and move on with her life, and then Alex says she does have a crush on someone- then she sees Noah and tries to get the nerve to talk to him.  As Alex goes to talk to him, she slips on the floor!  Noah asks if Alex is Ok and then some frat dude yells ” lay off the beer!” to Alexandra.  Alex has never been so embarassed in her whole life, and runs off.  As she runs off, she finds a keg and of course- she drinks. Ya gotta love a drunk Enid Rollins- I mean Alex!  As Alex is stone drunk she does hear Alison talking to Peter Wilbourne about how she framed Jessica and Peter says that it’s Alison’s word against Jessica’s and not to worry. Alex can’t believe what she is hearing! 

Jessica and James are dancing and then James says dancing makes him thirsty and he needs another beer. Jessica is weirded out as James has been drinking since the beginning of the night- I say James should hook up with Alexandra Rollins.  Jessica wonders where James went off to, as he said he’d bring her back a soda.  When Jess finds him upstairs, he is chugging beer and he calls her Jessie which apparently Jessie hates but I could swear that Steven has called her that before.  James plants a rough kiss on her lips and his breath reeks of alcohol. Jess flashes back to the time where they were at another party and James refused to stop kissing her and it made Jess uncomfortable.  Jessica tells James to cut it out and he says he is sorry but Jessica is still not feeling too great about James.

Liz and Tom are kissing on the beach and it’s getting super passionate.  As they are kissing Liz is thinking this has to stop as Liz doesn’t want to get pregnant or get AIDS- and nope Tom hasn’t even touched Liz’s tits.  Elizabeth says stop and Tom doesn’t at first. Elizabeth then yells STOP IT!! and Tom stops kissing her.  Tom looks shocked and says he is sorry and he didn’t understand. Tom claims that sometimes ” Elizabeth says no when she really means yes” and God though it burns me to say it- well I can’t really see Liz as a cocktease but haven’t we all established that Jess is? Well I am digressing as we are talking about Elizabeth. Elizabeth says that is not true.  Elizabeth does recall saying no when she meant yes a couple of times-WHAT? Elizabeth and Tom agree to communicate their needs better. Tom assures Liz he would never push her into any sexual activity that she was not ready for- unlike Todd tried to do in Book 1 of SVU. Elizabeth is so glad that Tom is her best friend and colleague as well as her boyfriend. Alex calls that 24 hour number folks call if they need help.  Alex gets into a good grove talking to a guy who answers the phone.  Alex feels this guy is being pretty understating of her situation.  The man assures her that she doesn’t have to use her real name so she goes by ” Enid.” The guy tells Alex/ Enid he is operator 22 and since they don’t use real names he says when she calls next to ask for TT- as in t-squared- 22- or something.

Jessica is really nervous about the sorority house vote.  Magda has Alison explain her side of the story and doesn’t allow Jessica to defend herself as she’s not in the sorority at this time. Jessica gets blackballed- every girl who votes votes against Jessica. Of course, Jessica’s life is now over.  Alexandra then arrives at the Theta house- late, but she arrives.  Magda agrees to let Alexandra vote as I guess if Alexandra votes it would get Jessica in- or something- even though every girl supposedly voted against her?? Ummm well Alexandra calls Alison a liar and says she votes to let Jessica back in!

Elizabeth tells Maia she is upset over Jessica’s treatment by Theta- according to Liz, they set the standard of behavior and penalize Jessica for living up to it, Maia says that is how men treat women and Liz asks her to explain what that means. Maia says she means that guys want girls to act sexy and sleep with them and when girls do so, they act as if the girl is a slut.  Elizabeth says that’s a good point and says maybe that could be their paper topic. Maia sulks and says “maybe.” Elizabeth can’t believe Maia’s utter lack of enthusiasm for their paper.  Then Elizabeth says the guy in the wheelchair who works at the library seems to always stare at her- yep that’s William White. Then Liz confronts Maia on why she is not into the paper and Maia says she sees no point in writing about gender issues because nothing will ever change. Then Elizabeth yells what makes Maia some gender issue expert? Maia then talks about how she can’t sleep and has constant nightmares.  Elizabeth tells Maia it may help to talk about what is wrong and Maia says she doesn’t want to talk to someone. Elizabeth presses the issue and says Maia can go to student services for counseling.  Maia says to forget it because they’d have to tell the dean and the adminstration would say it was her fault. Elizabeth is like “WHAT would be your fault?”  Maia finally breaks down- she went out with a guy a few weeks ago- and he raped her. Elizabeth finally gets why Maia was having nightmares and wearing baggy clothes.

Lila saves Bruce from some rock that fell on him. Then Bruce claims he will go fishing for their food. Lila is doubting that shit. OK enough of that.  Alexandra tells Magda what she heard at the costume party.  Alison says to the girls to ” consider the source” and that what Alex is saying is BS.  Magda says they could always hold an all Greek council meeting and subpeona Peter about this. Alison gets all scared and is all ” would that be necessary” and Magda says it would because otherwise Alison can’t expect Alex to apologize to Alison for lying. Then Magda has the girls vote again and this time- every girl BUT Alison votes for Jessica, and Jessica gets to be a Theta pledge again!!! Then Magda asks JESS if she feels Alison should be required to leave Theta and Jessica is nice enough to say Alison can stay in.

Lila now has a terrible fever.   Jessica tells Elizabeth she is allowed to be a Theta! Then Jessica asks if Lila has called.  Jessica finds it weird that Lila has been out of touch this long.  Then Tom calls and asks Liz if she wants to go to the Humphrey Bogart film festival and Liz says yes. Jessica is going to go with James.  Liz tells Tom what Maia told her. Elizabeth says she is scared because she can imagine something like that happening to her. Tom is all asshole about life and says that it wouldn’t happen to Liz because she never gives mixed signals like some girls do! UGH!  Tom then says some girls don’t say no until the next morning because they regret having sex or the guy doesn’t call back or something. Methinks Tom saw the episode of 90210 where that girl Laura accused Steve Sanders of rape because he didn’t call the next day.  Elizabeth can’t believe Tom doesn’t understand and Liz says she knows that didn’t happen because Maia is her friend and she believes her and she can’t believe Tom and her are on such diffrent wavelengths about this topic.  Tom then says he is sorry and he shouldn’t be blaming the victim and Elizabeth says as members of the media they have a responsibility to not blame the victim and to stand up against rapists and all.  Tom asks if Maia said who the rapist was and Elizabeth says no.

Todd comes to see Alexandra, and he says ” I am so down on the totem pole that not even Enid Rollins wants to see me”- yep jerk off Todd says that!  Alexandra is thinking how she’s been ” poor Enid Rollins” all of her life and she thought she shed that image at SVU.  Alex does say to Todd he is right because she doesn’t want to be seen with any guy who would put her down.  Todd says he is sorry and to please be his friend and Alexandra says they both need to clean their acts up and they aren’t good for each other right now.  Alex wants to drink but calls the hotline to talk to TT instead.  Alex feels soooo much better after talking to TT at the hotline and does not have a drink.

Jessica is looking forward to her date at Mountain Lodge Inn with James tonight.   It’s a very elegant and romantic restaurant.  Jessica thinks of how James drank at the costume party and hopes he won’t drink tonight.  Alex bumps into Noah on campus and thinks that Noah will think she’s the biggest klutz on campus!  Alex runs away again as Noah calls out to her.  Then Alex calls T Squared- TT- and tells him she likes this guy and is afraid of what he thinks of her and TT tells Alex to tell her guy how she feels. Alexandra says she doesn’t trust herself around any men lately and only trusts TT. Hmmmmm….  Lila and Bruce finally eat some berries and both are still alive and Lila is so very grateful that Bruce is alive.  Jessica wears a black bolero jacket, a red bustier and black pants to her dinner with James.  As James comes to the door, Liz is so very happy that Jessica has such a nice, steady guy to go out with.  Maia then stops by to see Elizabeth as James and Jess leaves and tells her she wants to talk more about what happened the night of the rape.  Maia is crying and Liz asks who raped Maia. Well- it was……..get surprised ladies- Todd- HAH HAH No- it was JAMES MONTGOMERY!!

 James keeps asking Jessica to drink alcohol and Jess keeps saying no. She finds getting drunk at a restaurant utterly gross.  As Helen a senior in Theta and her man Grant come into the restaurant they say hello to Jessica and James and Helen looks so impressed as James makes a great first impression. Jessica thinks she guesses it’s OK that James is drinking as he is making such a great impression.  She feels James will be a great asset to have around, and  she’s sure he can handle his alcohol.  Maia tells Liz that James took Maia to the MOUNTAIN LODGE INN and he pulled over on one of the mountain roads.  Maia had a couple of drinks and James was quite drunk. He then raped her on the road in his car. Maia said she never came forward because people saw them kissing at the restaurant and no one would believe they didn’t have consensual sex.  Elizabeth then tells Maia she is sorry, but she has to go to the Mountain Lodge Inn.  Elizabeth tells Janna the receptionist at the TV station to tell Tom she’s going to the inn in the hopes Tom will meet her there.

William White goes to follow Elizabeth to where she is going in such a rush.  Elizabeth tells ” William” well the library guy that she is looking for Tom and the guy says he will tell Tom where to meet and he does. James is damn drunk and almost falls over. Jess offers to drive and James refuses.  Jessica tries to get help at the restaurant but decides that is too dorky. As she puts the seat belt over her thin waist she is hoping not to need the seatbelt.

Jessica keeps asking James to let her drive. James says that he likes a girl to dress sexy as it shows she’s interested in sex.  James then says he wants to go to Lookout Point. Jessica says no but James says just for a little bit. Jessica figures she can kiss him once and get the hell out of there, then be rid of James.  Elizabeth passes lookout point on the road, and then sees a sign for Mountain Lodge Inn and hopes that James and Jess are still there.  When Liz gets to the restaurant, a worker tells Liz he thinks Jessica and James went wherever way Lookout Point is and Elizabeth goes to her car to try to find them there. 

James and Jess are outside the car. James says he wants them to get back in the car and Jessica says no. James says fine with him and pulls Jessica to the ground! James rolls on top of Jessica and pulls at the waistband of her pants. Jessica screams at James to stop. James keeps kissing her instead. Jess repeats to get off her. Then James screams doesn’t Jess know what that dinner cost?? UGH! Jess screams she doesn’t want James to touch her! He unzips Jess’s pants and tries to grab at her panties. He then grabs her arm and says it’s too cold and they can go to the car. As Jess tries to drag her feet, he picks Jessica up and takes her to the car!!!!!!  Elizabeth gets to Lookout Point, hears a scream and runs to James’s car and gets a wrench from her toolbox to pry open the car door.  As Elizabeth kind of chokes James with his tie, Jess is able to go free!  Jess and Elizabeth run to the Jeep.  James goes to run to the twins but then they see him fall as if he were knocked over- then Liz thinks she sees another male figure before they drive off…

Elizabeth tells Jess it was not her fault and she couldn’t have known James was some rapist. Elizabeth then tells Jess she uses her psychic powers as a twin to know Jessica was in danger. Then Elizabeth asks about Jessica’s purse  as she left it in the restaurant- but someone brought it back to their dorm- with a card for the Sweet Valley Cab Service. Elizabeth says that means someone else saw what happened tonight… and next time we will recap the next book in this thrilling conclusion, Take Back the Night! Will Jessica press charges and if she does will Maia testify? Will Alex find out who T Squared is??? Any more William White crap? Find out soon!

OMG I AM SO EXCITED!!!!

I have never gotten any of these awards before and always wanted one- THANK YOU SOOO DAMN MUCH DANERS ISADORA! So here are the rules- apparently I have to write about 7 things that make me sooo darn happy, and then nominate 7 awesome blogs. So here’s I go!!

7 things I LUV:

1) This is sooo sad coming from an extremely liberal social worker,but I have such a great passion for shopping!!! I buy something or other at least weekly. I love grocery shopping, clothes shopping, E Bay, Etsy.com, you name it!!! Some of my favorite stores are Juicy Couture, Banana Republic, Gap, Target, Old Navy, the Family Dollar Store, Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s, J. Crew, Talbot’s, and Ann Taylor Loft. For websites I love to shop on- some are those are Etsy.com as I mentioned, Sephora.com, Drugstore.com, Dr Jays.com which sells clothes from Baby Phat and Ed Hardy, two of my favorites, Zappos and QVC.com!! It’s so sad that sometimes I would rather shop than save money or pay off my credit cards, but it is what it is.

2) Social Work. Yep, I have a great love and passion for my job. I have been a clinician for a crisis hotline/triage hotline for about three years now, and I really do love what I do every day. There are days when I feel helpless and like people are shitty and will always be shitty, but on other days I have literally saved people from killing themselves, no joke, and there is no greater feeling in the world. I loved social work school, and I would love to get my PhD in Sociology and Social Work if I ever could swing it financially.  I am working on getting my social work license and few things make me happier than work, geeky as it may sound.

3) The Confessions of a Shopaholic book series. Becky Bloomwood is my soulmate. That is all I have to say.

4) Movies of all kinds- I have dreamed of being a documentary filmmaker someday, but what I really love to do is watch movies. I don’t really like horror movies, but I love every other genre especially dramas and foreign films. Netflix is like a drug for me, and my boyfriend see at least one movie in the theatre a week. Some of my most recent favorites were ” Julie and Julia,” ” The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”, ” Bruno”, ” You’ve Got Mail”, and ” Enchanted.” I would much rather watch DVD’s than anything on television at the moment.

5) Criminal Justice and Law- Yes I also had thought of being a lawyer but in the end realized that I am not bitchy or greedy enough ( no offense to any of you attorneys!!). But I love studying about the law, watching Law and Order Special Victims Unit and Cold Case, and watching court shows like Judge Mathis! The law and the criminal justice system have always been utterly fascinating and Morris Dees of the Southern Poverty Law Center  is one of my idols, as is the new Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor. Law is so really so complex and interesting, and I could read about court cases all day.

6) Iron Chef America. I love watching others cook, I just hate to cook myself.

 

7) Burt’s Bees beauty products. They are made with mostly natural ingredients and they just generally rock.

 

And now to nominate 7 amazing bloggers- ( all are on my blogroll so please look for them there!! )

1) Shannon of Shannon’s Sweet Valley High Blog  Her recaps of Sweet Valley High books are friggin hilarious.

2) Caroline of Sheep are In- my new favorite Baby Sitters Club blog

3) Nikki from are you there God it’s me Nikki- just because she writes about many different types of books, and she’s funny as hell.

4) Sadako at Dibbly Fresh. Literally some of the most fuckin hysterical BSC recaps EVER- too bad she hasn’t any written any of her BSC recaps in a long time!!

5) I hate wheat- the Dairi Burger- the girl who inspired me to write my own blog on Young Adult novels.

6) Little Snarky Two Shoes- I have to see if this was added to my blogroll- if not I am more than happy to post the link in my next recap!!!! I just started reading this blog and her recaps of the Against Taffy Sinclair series will make you pee your pants.

7) The Sleepover Friends blog- sadly it hasn’t been updated in a long time but this is an ideal blog for an avid Sleepover Friends Fan like I am!!!

I am working on a recap I am hoping it’s done by Monday. Wish me luck! and thanks again Daners!

Another Recap:

This is just a recap of books I have recapped since my last ( this is what I have done so far) blog.

So since that time, in case you have missed it I have recapped two Gymnasts books now- #2- First Meet, and #6- Bad Break. I did another Sleepover Friends book, numero #20, Lauren in the Middle. I also recapped a Sweet Valley Twins Super Special The Unicorns Go Hawaiian ( and I did not miss Elizabeth, who was hardly in this book, one bit- who would have known?) I also recapped Baby Sitters Club #8 Boy Crazy Stacey aka the best BSC book EVER, Freshman Dorm’s Freshman Obsession, and The Fabulous Five Book 1 Seventh Grade Rumors.

Please also look for our past recaps of Girl Talk Books 1, 3, and 7- all awesome, a bunch of recaps on both the ” Making Out” and ” Girlfriends” series, a hilarious recap done by my sister on the Baby Sitters Club full length movie, and Baby Sitters Club Snowbound, SVU #1 College Girls, and Sweet Valley Twins #1 Best Friends are other past recaps I can recommend if you get bored one day and want to read bunches of my past postings.

Please look for future posts on more Sleepover Friends, Fab Five, and Sweet Valley Twins books for sure, as well Elizabeth Gail books, as well as Sweet Valley High and Baby Sitters Club.  I have no more BSC Little Sister books but I do aim to get more because I figure that this blog focuses on books that not many other blogs focus on, and hardly anyone snarks BSC Little Sis- tales of a former walking highlighter used to do GREAT recaps on those but she hasn’t updated in quite awhile. So I am HOPING to be able to recap more BSC Little Sister books as well, and I have TONS of Sweet Valley Kids I can do, but SVH is not nearly as fun to snark as BSC Little Sis!

Peter DeHaven sucks- or SVH #36- Last Chance

I know, I did not update last week as I believed I promised I would. I suck- I admit it. I’d love to be ambitious and write 2 posts this week, but we will see- in the meantime look forward to these recaps in the next few weeks
( not necessarily in order)

1) Girl Talk 27- Perfect Match

2) The Fabulous Five 5- The Bragging War ( one of my favorites as a kid- then I read it again.;..)

3) The Gymnasts 2- First Meet

4) Freshman Dorm 24- Freshman Obsession

5) BSC 14-Hello, Mallory!! ( believe it or not I LOVED reading this one again… but I will save my total hatred for the BSC in this book for that post- you will <3 I promise!)

6) Elizabeth Gail ( Christian fiction) 8- Elizabeth G. and the Frightened Runaways ( let me tell ya this book deals w/ more sensitive issues than SVH ever did!)

7) Sleepover Friends 20-Lauren in the Middle

Girl Talk 8- Stealing the Show

9) SVU Thriller- The Roommate

And #10- Sleepover Friends 9- No More Sleepovers, Patti?

So as you can see I will be doing more recaps on books from series that are not as well known as BSC or Sweet Valley Twins or High, though more of those are coming. I may get a poll going ( informal) on whether or not you guys want more posts on popular series like Baby Sitters Club, Sweet Valley Twins or High,  or do you enjoy the Freshman Dorm, Sleepover Friends, Gymnasts, Eliz Gail, type recaps as well? But enough on this shit- on to my recap!!

Elizabeth hears that Amy Sutton is dating Peter DeHaven. To review, Amy is the blonde twat who has a shit personality and is pretty much trying to be as cool as Jess Wakefield, and failing miserably. Peter DeHaven, on the other hand, is very intelligent, got accepted early admission to MIT,and is a senior who has always been enrolled in special science classes for nerds who resemble Clark Kent ( hey Peter is totally resembling Clark Kent on the cover of this book!) Meanwhile, Amy is lookin’ all demure and like a cheap imitation of Reese Witherspoon, whereas the ” other woman” aka Johanna Porter is shown with sexy red hair on this cover, though they describe her as having black hair in the book. Thanks, ghostwriters. Oh, also know that Peter is entering the Southern Cali Science Fair this month.  Elizabeth wonders what the hell Amy and Peter discuss- and Amy pretty much says what Liz thinks out loud- that it’s hard to chat with ol’ Pete as he is sooo much older ( yeah 16 and 17- worlds apart) and Peter is so- serious.  And BTW Peter is not to discuss science when Amy is around. Yeah, that’s fair.

The kids all spot Julie Porter, who is described as a talented musician who is too busy practicing her music to socialize much or have too many friends. Elizabeth remembers what great friends they were in sixth grade.  Julie’s parents were both talented musicians- Mr. Porter plays for the symphony, and before Mrs. Porter’s tragic death six months earlier, she was a talented opera singer.  Julie’s older sister Johanna never got good grades in school- she earned C’s and D’s ( sounds like my high school record- don’t ask me how I ever got into a university) and was always on academic probation, and about six months before Mrs. Porter’s death in a car crash, Johanna suddenly dropped out of school.  The latest news is that Johanna has decided to return to Sweet Valley High.  Julie says Johanna is nervous to start school again, and already Elizabeth is starting to think that she better help Johanna adjust to school- naturally, Liz has to meddle.

Johanna is thinking about how nervous she is about starting school again, and how she worked at the Whistle Stop Cafe ( funny- we have a Whistle Stop cafe about 5 minutes from my work!) and enjoyed making money and knowing a diverse group of people.  My opinion is that Johanna should have stayed at the Whistle Stop.  Johanna always felt like the dummy in her family, and at work, she felt respected.  Then two snotty bitches named Yvonne White and Lisa Howard, pretty much are all up in Johanna’s grill, all shocked that she’s back in school. And now- Johanna’s SAD tale- Julie was always the smart, musically gifted one in the family- Johanna is pretty like her mom was, but what did it matter as Julie was talented at music and Mr. Porter had a PhD?  And Mrs. Porter read books in Russian and loved to discuss philosophy. Johanna always struggled in school and felt inferior to the rest of the Porter clan.  Johanna always felt that Mr. P loved Julie more than he loved her. But Mrs. Porter really made Johanna feel loved.  Mrs. P used to always tell Johanna that one day she’d find her path in life, and the whole world would look different.

After Mrs. P dies, Johanna finds a journal entry that Mrs. Porter wrote, saying how she so wishes Johanna would return to high school.  Johanna then decides she has to enroll in school again to make Mrs. Porter proud of her and not to disappoint her. Johanna is starting to wonder if re-enrolling in school could be a mistake. Well, it’s Sweet Valley High so I say- yes. Other than since Johanna is pretty, maybe Bruce Patman will take a shining to her…

We learn in Chapter Three that Elizabeth Wakefield is tutoring Johanna in English a few afternoons a week. Naturally.  Johanna is frustrated over how even science and math are hard, even though she always secretly loved both subjects.  Then, in the middle of Johanna’s thoughts- she sees- PETER DEHAVEN!!  Johanna has had  a crush on our Clark Kent nerdy- hottie since they were little kids! They used to spend hours playing with Peter’s old chemistry lab as kids.  Peter was always so smart and sure of himself, and Johanna and Peter drifted apart as Peter got more into schoolwork.  Johanna is kind of in disbelief that Peter is dating Amy Sutton, but Peter is so darn perfect that Johanna figures that Peter must see something magical in Amy that Johanna doesn’t see.  Peter and Johanna exchange some quick pleasantries, but then Amy says Peter must find them a place to sit.  Johanna is just so happy that Peter said hello, but so bummed that he’s all up on Amy. Poor, poor Jo- Jo!

Jessica, Cara and Liz are at the beach, and Jessica starts whining about how Cara is too serious with Steven- now from what I recall Jessica is the one who wanted Cara and Steven to be together, and now she’s pissed that they are serious? Jessica sucks so bad sometimes.  Jessica tells Cara that she should start making Steven believe that other dudes are interested in her, or Steven may lose interest and find Cara boring because no other men want her.  Jessica tells Cara to go to the PTA dance ( God how boring does THAT sound??) with Ken Matthews to get Steve jealous.  Elizabeth tries telling Jessica to knock it off, but Jessica isn’t listening.  Jessica wants to convince Steve and Cara that they are way too young to be tied down, and NADA will stop her!

Elizabeth is tutoring Johanna, and Elizabeth thinks how Johanna has a style all her own- she is wearing a jumper and a Victorian print lace blouse.  Elizabeth wishes that Johanna were as creative in expressing her ideas, and wants Johanna to be more secure in herself.  Johanna just really doesn’t get the F Scott Fitzgerald story they are reading, and is getting frustrated. Elizabeth tells Johanna to call Liz anytime, and not just to discuss English- Liz will be there. Naturally, naturally- Liz must SAVE THE WORLD! God, even my social work self wants to puke!

It’s a Friday afternoon, and Johanna is in the chem lab working on experiments. Johanna is finding chemistry very interesting and before she knows it, it’s 4:30! And PETER walks into the chemistry lab!  Peter starts telling Johanna about how he got into MIT and is interested in robotics, and Johanna is jealous that Pete has things all figured out, just like Julie.  Peter is going on and on about his goals in life and latest project for about 20 minutes, and not asking Johanna one thing about herself, but Johanna is just so entranced by how sure of himself and smart Peter is, and she is just sooo in love. Or something.  Peter says how he wants to write a program that acts as a psychologist-  you could ask the robot about fears, feelings, etc.  Peter then asks if Johanna is free tonight because he has to get notes from a friend of his older brother’s to help with his project.  Johanna totally agrees to go and is wet through her panties with excitement.

Johanna tells Julie about her outing with Peter and how much she likes him, and Julie says that Pete has one big ego since getting into MIT, and Johanna replies that anyone would! Then Julie asks about Amy, and then remembers that Amy is with her parents on a mountain vacay this weekend, and that’s the only reason Peter asked Johanna to go out. Johanna is pissed that Julie would say that.  Johanna says to herself that NADA will change her mind about how great Peter is!

Steven comes home for the weekend, like he always seems to, and Liz greets the boy like she hasn’t seen him in years. Steven tells the twins that he and Cara have an anniversary coming up. Jessica says Cara didn’t mention any anniversary, so Cara must have forgotten about it.  Jess starts saying Cara must be too busy with always going out to parties to remember the anniversary. God, why is Jess being as meddlesome as Lizzie? Then Jess implies that Cara goes out with other guys.  Jessica is all proud of herself for planting seeds of doubt in Steven’s brain.

Peter and Johanna go out Friday night, he again goes on and on about himself the whole time, and then Pete and Johanna make out. Great, great date there. Of course Johanna is on cloud 9 since she and Pete made out. 

So begins another tutoring session between Liz and Jo-Jo. Johanna tells Liz about her feelings for Peter.  Elizabeth is sort of alarmed when Johanna tells Liz about she and Pete’s date Friday night, because she thought Peter was with Amy Sutton. Johanna says she thinks Peter will dump Amy when she gets back from her trip. I am not sure where she makes that leap! The dude made out with ya once, Johanna, that’s all.  Elizabeth tells Johanna to go ahead and do what feels right, but to be careful at the same time. Then Steven comes over to the girls all steamed and frustrated over his college math. Johanna is easily able to solve it for him and is so proud that Elizabeth and Steven think she is smart because she can figure out college level math.  Elizabeth is so glad Johanna feels good about her math skills, and hopes Petey D doesn’t screw Johanna over.  Meanwhile, at Box Tree Cafe, Cara is all steamed that she and Steven had an argument over nothing.  Jessica again tells Cara to just accept dates from other guys- seriously, it is amazing that Steve and Cara allow Jessica to pull this shit.  Then when Jessica comes home, stupid Liz decides to tell Jessica that Peter asked Johanna out while Amy was away and swears Jess to secrecy- yeah that’s gonna work. Of course, Jessica swears that she wouldn’t tell Ames anything, as Amy is one of her bestie amigas. RIGHT…………………………….

Johanna hears everyone discuss the PTA dance, and is hoping that Pete will dump Amy in time to ask her to the dance.  Johanna says hi to Peter at school, and Peter pretty much snubs her- yeah because Peter is a douche nozzle, Jo-Jo! Of course, Johanna is crushed- she doesn’t get why Peter snubbed her!  Then, Pete finds Johanna in the chem lab, and says he is sorry but he only snubbed Ms. Jo b/c he was in front of Amy and her buddies and didn’t know what to say.  Peter says he is so afraid to hurt Amy because Amy just adores him to death, and he has to let her down easy.  Peter claims he will dump Amy tonight, and will take Johanna out to dinner in Bridgewater, 15 miles away, tomorrow. Johanna is in LUV, as Stace McGill would say, all over again.

Elizabeth then praises Johanna by saying her writing has much improved and Mr. Collins is very proud. Johanna says she is glad she’s doing better, but it won’t matter to her dad because he only cares about success in music. Eliz says she is sure that is not true of Jo’s daddy!  Johanna says that all Julie and Mr. Porter discuss is music, and it leaves Johanna out in the cold.  Johanna then says she wants to do better in school to make Peter ” Dick” DeHaven proud of her.  Johanna then comes home and argues with Julie again over Peter. 

Lila, Cara and Jessica are having lunch together. Jessica gets Cara to ask Ken Matthews to the dance to get Steven all jealous and to make Steve appreciate Cara and Cara agrees to do it. God, this storyline sucks- one, because Jess is the one who pushed Steven and Cara together, and DOS- because Steve and Cara are MAD BORING!!!! SNOOZE O RAMA!! Meanwhile, Lila is hoping to get a date to the Bridgewater Ball that is coming up. This will become sort of important later on.

Johanna is at the library, and hears Amy talking to some of the other cheerleaders about a party that Ame is throwing, and how Peter and Ame are going to the dance, and EVERYONE is invited to Amy’s party. Everyone but Johanna, of course.  And here Jo thinks Peter and Amy are over. Johanna storms out of the library, crying. Then Peter sees Johanna and offers her a ride home.  Peter says that Johanna really LISTENS to him, and Amy is just so into him and he doesn’t know how to dump the Ame-ster nicely. God, Pete, I hate your fuckin bullshit excuse my French, dear readers. Johanna then sees the program that Peter is working on at his place about how he’d ask the robot certain yes and no questions, blah blah blah, ( sorry don’t care to explain it further) and Johanna tries to tell Pete she saw  a documentary about this exact sort of computer program, but Peter blows her off.  Johanna does feel a little hurt that Peter always blows her off but of course she is still all inlove with Petey. UGH!!

Johanna gets a 92 on a tough chem exam. Mr. Russo tells Johanna that based on the results of this test, Mr Russo feels Johanna could be in advanced placement physics and calculus next year.  Johanna thinks that her mom would be so proud of her.  Meanwhile, Jess tells Amy about what she did with Cara and Steven, and Amy goes off on Jessica, and Jessica is well ” yeah because you are all tight with Peter” and that pisses Jess off, so she decides to tell Amy that Peter has been getting rather tight with Johanna. So Amy confronts Peter about it,  and Peter says he is just helping Johanna with chemistry. Then Peter thinks about how he really is only dating Amy because it gives him higher status at SVH, and Johanna is so much more REAL.  Peter then decides he has to really leave Amy for Johanna because he is sick of Amy. He slips a note in Jo- Jo’s locker saying he can’t see Johanna again because Amy found out about he and Jo’s DL relationship.  Johanna is convinced Liz told Amy about her and Peter and blows up at Elizabeth, even though Liz swears she didn’t tell Amy anything.  So Liz confronts Jessica, and Jessica says he was tired of hearing Amy go on and on about Peter, so Jessica told Amy what was going on. Elizabeth says she just wants to make sure Johanna stays in school and that this crap with Peter doesn’t make Jo- Jo drop out. And of course Liz easily forgives Jess for not keeping her damn mouth shut.

Amy’s party is a blast, and Amy is wearing a peach jumpsuit ( and sadly I think Express is currently selling peach jumpsuits), but as pretty as she looks, she looks sour and is not having much fun.  Then it’s the dance- and Jess tells Lila how this pretty redhead girl, Susan Stewart,  ( and on the cover of Rumors SVH #37 I do gotta say that Sue Stewart does look sexy as HELL!) has an outfit on that’s almost as expensive as Lila’s.  Lila sniffs, saying she wonders where Susan gets all that money- supposedly the woman who is Susan’s real mom is wicked rich and sends check to Susan’s guardian, ” Aunt Helen.”  Also, Cara and Steven chat and make up at the dance, and they find out Jessica was behind this scheme to break Cara and Steven up, and Jess says if they really had trust in each other, Jessica couldn’t have sabotaged them so of course instead of calling BS on Jess, Cara and Steven forgive her, too. UGH!  Meanwhile, Amy starts talking shit about Johanna, saying that if she got an A on a chem test, Amy bets Johanna cheated. And, what, Amy, you are a MENSA member? Shut up. Liz is pissed that Peter is just letting Amy talk trash about Johanna, and confronts him on it.  Peter just says he didn’t know what to say, and Elizabeth says it’s not fair how Peter is treating Johanna since Jo worships Pete so damn much.

Peter then talks to Johanna in school about issues he  is having with his computer program after saying he wants he and Jo- Jo to be pals. Johanna talks about the program she saw on Peter’s very project, but Peter is all ” oh this is for a science fair” and is all effin snotty over it. I HATE this douche- to me, he is worse than Bruce Patman! Johanna thinks that Peter could take his botched up computer program and big ego and disappear- ME TOO!

Johanna is then in the bathroom hearing those bitches from earlier, Lisa and Yvonne, talk about how they don’t see what Pete sees in Johanna because Johanna was a dropout and is not smart- again, AMY IS NO FUCKIN GENIUS!! UGH! So Johanna runs out of SVH and into- FREEDOM!!! When Liz hears that Johanna left, she tears Pete a new asshole ( which he does deserve) and Peter finds Johanna at the Whistle Stop, and finds her fetching in her uniform.  Peter tries to get Johanna to go back to school, but Johanna isn’t having it.  She tells Peter he doesn’t want to do anything for her and only cares about himself and tells him to shove it- wooo! But then when Johanna comes home, she and her dad have  a heart to heart,a and Mr. Porter tells Johanna to do things for herself and not for others, and that he is so proud of how well she’s doing in chemistry.  Johanna and her dad then hug and cry a lot.

Johanna then tells Julie and Mr. P that she is going back to school, and she loves her science and math course and wants to stick to school. Julie and Johanna make up, and both Julie and Mr. Porter are very proud of Johanna. Julie also says she is so proud of Johanna for having the courage to return to school. 

It’s been a few weeks, and Johanna is enjoying school. Peter tries to ask Johanna out again, after telling her that her idea for the science fair was great, and he used it and won, and wants to take Johanna out to celebrate.  And in SOOOOOOO NO WAY THIS HAPPENED IN SWEET VALLEY fashion, Johanna tells Pete HELL NO! YES!!!! FUCK YOU PETE! So glad that a girl in SVH has some ovaries and is happy with her beakers and calc, and doesn’t need a friggin man! YEAH!

We then end with Jessica getting her twat wet over Susan Stewart’s hotness and class, and Lila being steamed. AKA the intro to ” Rumors” which I do believe I own and may have to recap!!

Soooo peeps- informal poll- leave comments please on this- first of all do you all prefer I focus more on recaps of Baby Sitters Club,  BSC Little Sister, SV Twins, and High books, or more on recaps of more obscure YA series like the Gymnasts, Freshman Dorm and Sleepover Friends, or a mixture of both? Also, what is your favorite non SVH or Baby Sitters Club YA series? Choices are:

a) Fabulous Five

b) Freshman Dorm

c) Sleepover Friends

d) Girl Talk

e) Girlfriends

f) The Gymnasts

g) Elizabeth Gail series

Or another series? Let me know by commenting, please! Or if you like please email me at jsfsocwork@hotmail.com! Can’t wait to hear responses!! Though if you email me personally, please put ” Poll” or ” Girl Talk Read” in the subject line- or Fitzie’s- so I know it’s not spam! Thanks!

Baby Sitters Club #3- The Truth About Stacey

First of all, I wanted you all to know that I am switching the the order of future posts a bit. Before the end of the year I definitely hope to review Sweet Valley Twins’ book 17 ” Boys Against Girls” and I also have some more BSC books to review before year’s end such as ” Dawn on the Coast” and ” Mary Anne Misses Logan.” I will give you upcoming books I will be posting on at the end of this blog!

Also, I will be 31 years of age tomorrow and fuck yeah I still read these YA novels for my pleasure  ( and to snark on them) and for your enjoyment! So here we go- I will be recapping my favorite BSC book at age 14 or so ( I didn’t read this until I was 14 and yeah I read BSC in 9th grade before school would start- screw you, OK? In fact, I read Sweet Valley Twins and High books regularly until my junior year of high school- then I discovered John Grisham and Danielle Steel- OK time to recap!

What is the Truth about Stacey? Ah, we all know by now that she’s not sexually active, and yes as far as we know Mr. McGill is her real daddy. The truth about Stacey is that she has diabetes- I don’t remember people with diabetes being, like, stigmatized or whatever in the 1980’s, but remember I recall incorrectly. Today, the children have Bret Michaels and his Rock of Love antics to look up to.  Anyway, Mr. and Mrs. McGill are wicked overprotective of Stacey due to her diabetes, and make her life shit. But more on that later.

Kristy feels that the BSC should have a game plan for when Mrs. Newton ( Jamie’s mama) has the new baby. Kristy feels that one sitter should be free each afternoon until Mrs. N has the kid- and Claudia says that seems like a waste because babies could be born in the middle of the night, or while Mary Anne, Stace, Claud and Kristy are at school or whatever- yeah Kristy DUH- not one of your better ideas.  Then the girls all talk about what time they were born- and all were born  in the middle of night, but Mary Anne does not know what time she was born because her mother is dead- which frankly I find odd because my father sure knows what time all of us kids were born! But no matter- Mimi knocks on the door to ask the girls if they want a snack ( LOVED Mimi- I cried when she passed- and to review Mimi was Claud’s grammie) and Mimi tells Mary Anne what time she was born, and that was also in the middle of the night.

Janine comes running into Claud’s room waving a flyer around. The flyer is advertising the Baby Sitters Agency, which is run by two girls named Liz Lewis and Michelle Patterson. The sitters are all 13 and up and can sit until 11 pm on weeknights and midnight on weekends. The girls all sense trouble a brewin’ because these gals are older and can sit for later hours than the BSC all can.  Claudia says that Liz and Michelle are eighth graders who cuss out teachers and hang at the mall- and umm babysit? Odd combo there.  The club members then wonder how the flyer can say that parents can reach ” a whole network of responsible baby sitters” when only two names are on the flyer. Mary Anne suggests that one of the girls can call the Agency pretending to need a sitter, and they can then find out how the agency operates.

So Kristy calls pretending to be ” Candy Kane” needing a sitter for her little brother. Kristy says she has a date with a high school boy named ” Winston Churchill” and yes the girl who answers the phone buys this! Kristy says it seems that the girls will call other sitters for the parents to see who is available to sit for the family ( or ” clients” as the BSC says- which I also find odd) The girls then keep a part of the salary that each of the Agency’s sitters make.  Liz then calls Kristy ( or Candy back) and Liz offers three sitters who are available and Kristy would choose one- and they employ 15 year olds and even some boys and Kristy is very discouraged at this point.  Stacey then thinks in her head that she hopes the Baby Sitters Club isn’t destroyed, because the BSC is the only good thing that has happened to Stacey in this past crap year of hers.

Stacey then talks about how she found out she had diabetes- long story short, she was always hungry and thirsty, urinating a lot, she once peed in the bed when slept over her best friend Laine’s house in NYC, and she was not gaining weight- she was losing weight despite all the eating. So Stacey’s mom had Stace go to some psychiatrist and based on the symptoms, the psychiatrist sent Stace to another doc who diagnosed her with diabetes.   Of course, Stacey freaked out upon learning of her illness, but she found out she could control it with daily insulin shots and a proper diet ( and umm hell0 – CHECK YOUR BLOOD SUGAR AND CHECK IT OFTEN- ask that diabetic testing supply commercial!) We then learn that shortly before Stacey’s diagnosis, Mr. and Mrs. McGill found out that they couldn’t have more kids. This is devestating to them, of course, and then when they learn of Stacey’s diabetes they become all overprotective. Stace’s ‘rents are also convinced they can find a cure for diabetes, and Stacey didn’t tell her friends about her disease, and her parents didn’t tell THEIR friends which is sooo god darn odd- why couldn’t anyone know that Stace had diabetes? It’s not catching or anything and it’s a common disease. So instead,  Laine dumps Stacey because she peed in her bed and they aren’t friends anymore. Stacey had also missed a lot of school due to diabetes, and even fainted in school a couple of times, and Laine was jealous that Stacey was missing school- well maybe if Laine knew WHY…ugh I just don’t get why Stacey couldn’t tell others! So only Stacey’s BSC buds, that understanding bunch who even allow black folks in the club, ( later on of course) know about Stacey’s illness.

Stacey then talks about how she likes two boys- Sam Thomas, Kristy’s bro ( yeah that crush lasts FOREVER) and Pete Black is her sort of boyfriend. Stacey, you HO!!! I was always very loyal to my middle school crushes- one boy at a time Stacey’s mom then walks in and says that at the beginning of December, Stacey is scheduled for a series of tests with a new doctor in New York City that Stacey’s uncle Eric about from watching some TV program- I bet Stacey’s uncle Eric would LOVE Kevin Trudeau and Klee Irwin- because this doctor is holistic which means that he treats mind, body and soul which should be a good things, but supposedly he’s ” worked miracles” with diabetes- so basically this dude sounds like a wacko.  Stacey is upset because she has two perfectly good doctors ( one in NY, one in CT) and doesn’t get why she has to go to ANOTHER doctor, and she doesn’t want to miss school for three days, but her mom doesn’t really want to hear Stacey out.  I do feel bad for Stacey that her parents just aren’t listening to her or the doctors she has, apparently. Kristy then calls and says that  the next day, the BSC is having a special planning meeting to save the club.

So Kristy comes up with ideas like being ” mother’s helpers” at baby sitter prices- basically the girls would do housework in addition to sit for the kids- but Claud nixes that idea right away. Kristy also suggests the ” Kid- Kit” – you know that box the girls all decorate and fill with stickers, old books, and coloring books and stuff that the kids love? YEAH KID KIT! Kristy also wants to lower rates, and offer late sitting jobs to Sam, Charlie or Janine because they are older. Stacey will do anything Kristy suggest to save the club, but Mary Anne and Claudia aren’t quite that eager. The club members all agree that Kid Kits are a great idea, but feel the other suggestions should only be tried as a last resort. So the Kid Kit is born!

Stacey has a job sitting for Charlotte. Stacey shows Charlotte the Kid Kit and she adores it.  Stacey says that the girls can either stay in and play with the Kid Kit, or walk around town and look in the store windows, and maybe even play on the playground. Char votes to walk around outside.  Charlotte then tells Stacey that no one in school likes her- awwww- but she won’t say hi. Well the ladies then look at the windows in Polly’s Fine Candy, and they have a chocolate cornucopia and turkey in the window display, and it smells heavenly from outside. Yum, chocolate…  Charlotte and Stacey then walk in, and Char says they should buy a candy each but Stacey says no because it’s too close to dinner- but of course really it’s because she couldn’t tell little Charlotte about her diabetes.  Then Charlotte and Stacey go to the playground, and some kids call Charlotte a teacher’s pet and she gets upset, so they leave to go home, and a ” very pretty girl” gives Stacey a balloon advertising the Baby Sitter’s Agency- wow these gals are some great marketers!

Kristy and Stacey hang out after school at Kristy’s. They see Kristy’s mom with Jamie Newton, and it turns out that Mr. and Mrs. Newton arranged to call Kristy’s ma if the baby came during the day.  Then Kristy’s ma goes to leave to go back to work because Jamie spent the day with Ma Thomas, and Stacey then asks Kristy where Sam is- and Kristy says that Sam, David Michael and Charlie are probably all watching cheerleader practice- interesting for sure.  Kristy and Stacey then plan a ” Big Brother Party” for Jamie which involves musical rugs, making masks and what not which is a nice thing, really, because older  ones do feel ignored when a baby comes.  After the Big Bro party, Jamie ( who is THREE so how he’d remember this I have no clue) says that Kristy, who is his favorite babysitter, can’t sit for him anymore because Jamie heard his mommy make a call to a person saying that Jamie’s ma and daddy need a new sitter for the new baby- how are Mr. and Mrs. Newton ALREADY planning baby sitters when they JUST had the baby?? Does Mrs. N think she will want to attend library and junior women’s club meetings as soon as she poops out the kid? Well she is a Stoneybrook parent… so Stace tells Kristy and Kristy says ” this means war!”

The next day, the BSC see that Liz and Michelle are handing out fliers at school ( that’s allowed?) advertising the Baby Sitter’s Agency. Mary Anne says that it seems that Liz and Michelle don’t really care who signs up to baby sit as long as they get a cut of the cash, but Kristy argues that the parents will love that these sitters can stay out longer- of course- that means more time away from their offspring- any Stoneybrook parent wants that! Kristy then calls another emergency meeting of the BSC at her house to launch a counter-attack against the Agency. Kristy says they should recruit 8th graders to join the club, and the other members agree.

Stacey and her parents are at the mall, and Stacey’s mom says that they have to go to New York later in the month than was planned, from Dec 12th to the 17th. The tests will take longer than the McGill parents imagined, so they will be in NYC for five days. Stacey and her parents argue over how Ma and Pop McGill are making all of these decisions about her body without her consent. ( good point!) But Ma and Pop will not budge- Stacey must see Kevin T- I mean Dr. Barnes- in NYC for him to do his fancy tests.

Stacey has another sitting job with Charlotte, and she tells Dr. Johannsen ( Char’s momma) that her ‘rents want her to see this Dr. Barnes, and Dr J pretty much tells Stacey that the dude is a quack. Dr J says that from what she has heard, Dr Barnes will want Stacey to see all kinds of therapists, go on a new exercise program, and maybe even change schools, all to get rid of Stacey’s illness. Stacey balks at the idea.  Stacey asks Dr. J to intervene on her behalf, and the doc says she will think about it.

Next, Kristy makes sandwich boards for all of the gals to wear to school that advertise the BSC- mortifying, much? None of the girls find any new members this way- except Kristy, who has apparently found two 8th graders who used to work for the agency, but didn’t like having to give Liz and Mich a cut of the profits. Stacey also gets asked to the Snowflake Dance by Pete Black- HAWT!

Mary Anne, Claud, Stacey and Kristy go to the Newton home to give both Jamie and the new baby, Lucy, presents.  Kristy asks Mrs. N if what Jamie said is true about Mrs. N no longer using the BSC and Mrs Newton says that she feels much more comfy leaving baby Lucy alone with an older sitter, but when Mrs N takes Lucy places, the BSC can sit for Jamie alone. God you suck Mrs. Newton- again why would you leave your NEWBORN alone with any teens in the first place? Eh, whatever. Another strike against the BSC.

So these two new awesome sitters that Kristy hired, Janet Gates and Leslie Howard, attend the next BSC meeting. Janet and Leslie look bored, chew a lot of gum and wear tons of makeup. Kristy asks about 2 questions of each girl, then adds their names to the BSC flier along with how late Janet and Leslie can stay out. ( at age 14, Les can be out as late as she wants if she tells her ma first- shit I didn’t have that privilege until I was what 20??) Janet and Leslie each get booked for a late night job, and Stacey can’t wait to hear how the jobs went- oh Stacey….

Neither Janet nor Leslie show to the next meeting. And- neither Janet nor Leslie showed up to sit for the families they were booked to sit for!!!!! Kristy decides she wants to confront Janet and Leslie about this first thing the next day at school. Well- the BSC learns that Janet and Leslie were ” moles” for the agency and they were sent to sabotage the Baby Sitters Club- bitches.  Kristy starts to cry. Claudia tries to stay positive and says that there are families who like the BSC a lot and will continue to use their services, and not to despair.

Stace has a sitting job with Jamie Newton by himself. Jamie says that ” baby sitters used to be fun” and now all they do is watch TV. One of the gals who Mrs. N hired from the lovely Agency burned a hole in the couch with her cig and brought her boyfriend over. Stacey says if Jamie doesn’t like his new sitters, he should tell his mom- because he is 3 and will remember to do so. Why didn’t Stacey tell Mrs N- or ask her parents what to do? Oh yeah because Baby Sitters Club members can NEVER go to their ‘rents for anything or confront their ” clients.”  When Stacey arrives home, Dr Johannsen calls and says she wants Stacey to sit for Charlotte because Charlotte has been asking for Stacey.   Charlotte is all snippy with Stacey, and Stacey asks her what is wrong. Char says she thought her baby sitters were her friends, until Ellie Morris, the sister of Cathy, ( Cathy is a baby sitter agency member) tells Char that Cathy only baby sits for the money so Charlotte is crushed.  Charlotte also tells Stacey how the Agency sitters ignore her, watch TV the whole time, and bring their men over for tete a tets while they are sitting for Charlotte. Stacey asks Char what Stacey and Charlotte do together, and Charlotte says they read together, take walks and do fun stuff, so Charlotte is now satisfied that Stacey and Charlotte are friends and not just sitter/ sittee.  In other news, Dr J has found a great diabetes specialist for Stacey to see in New York City while the McGill family is off to see Dr Barnes, and the Doc will try to see if the doctor in NY will see Stacey while she’s in New York. Doc J also gives Stacey a note from her to the McGills explaining everything.

Now one day- the Baby Sitters Club are all walking home from school, and they see 3 year old Jamie playing in the sidewalk right near the street with no gloves on or anything so of course he is not safe! Turns out that Cathy Morris let Jamie go outside to play alone unsupervised. The girls tell Jamie to never go outside in the cold without a hat and mittens, and to only play in the backyard and never near the street- love how the mittens seemed more important than  the don’t play near the street rule. FINALLY- the BSC all agree that they should ask their parents for advice- and of course Mrs. Thomas, Mimi, and Stacey’s mommy all tell them to tell Mrs. Newton about what happened. Mrs N is PISSED, and she is going to call Cathy and tell her she no longer wants her services, and will call other parents and tell them not to ever use the Baby Sitter’s Agency. But Kristy tells Mrs N that she and the other BSC members would like to confront Liz and Michelle alone.  So the next day at school, the BSC wins the ” war” by asking Liz and Michelle abou the kids they have sat for, like Char and Jamie, and they know shit- so Liz and Michelle admit that they got OWNED and agree to let the BSC be the only baby sitting game in town.

So Stacey and Ma and Dad McGill are off to NYC and they are staying with Laine and her parents- Mr and Mrs McGill FINALLY told Mr. and Mrs. Cummings, Laine’s ‘rents, that Stace has the diabetes. Stacey is just pissy that she’s gotta spend 5 days with Laine, and Laine is no happier about the situation.  The next morning, Stacey and her parents are off to see Doc Barnes the Kevin Trudeau dude.  Before they meet with Barnes, Stacey goes to get a beverage with her parents and tells them that she and Dr J found Dr. Graham, who is an expert on childhood diseases and an overall kick ass doctor.  Then the McGills read the note from Charlotte’s ma about how she didn’t tell Stacey’s ‘rents personally due to confidentiality ( but Stace isn’t really her patient- does that apply? ah whatever) and how Dr. Graham is highly recommended.  And they are seeing Dr Graham that afternoon! Well, the visit with Graham goes well- he agrees that Barnes would not do anything for Stacey that would be helpful, that her diabetes is well under control, and her current doctors are just fine.  So Stacey doesn’t have to see Dr Barnes after all.

At the movies that night, Stacey marvels over how NYC is more pricey than CT, and in CT one could get a soda and popcorn for ninety nine cents- the fuck? Well, this was written in 1986, but I know in 1990 my cuz and I used to go to the movies all the time and snacks cost at least 5 bucks by then so I doubt it was 95 cents in 86! Does anyone know for sure what the snacks at the movie theatres in CT cost in 1986? Anyhoo, Laine and Stacey finally make up at the movies, and that night they see the show Paris Magic.  Stacey then returns home, and gets a sitting job sitting for Baby Lucy and Jamie for a couple hours while Mrs N is at home having some hokey group meeting.  Now, Stacey took that job and didn’t offer it to the other sitters, which I thought was VERBOTEN but Claud was cool with it because she’s done that plenty of times herself- oh you girls!

So in the last chapter, Stacey tells Laine that she sat for Lucy Newton and it was wonderful. Liz and Michelle now have a makeover business- wait did Liz grow up to be Stacy London from What not to Wear? Turns out that Charlotte was not challenged enough academically in 2nd grade so she will be moving up to third grade at the beginning of January- great success!  Stacey then says that Laine has to come to CT and meet the other girls sometime and Laine agrees- ah remember the book where Laine DID come to visit??? And all’s well that ends well in this particular tale.

 

Sooo… coming up- I will TRY to blog this week ( though with my birthday and Christmas that is not guaranteed) about Sweet Valley Twins Book 17, Boys Against Girls. Next I have  a LOT of Baby Sitters Club to snark on- starting with #2, Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls, then there will be reviews on BSC #46, Mary Anne Misses Logan, and #23 Dawn on the Coast- even though Dawn sucks turds. Next, there will be a break in the BSC action with Sweet Valley High #43, Hard Choices, which is about ENID ROLLINS- soooo- boring- but it will be reviewed anyway!

Following ” Hard Choices”- a review of Sweet Valley Twins #54- The Big Party Weekend- in which Steven looks about 10 and well- not into girls- on the cover of the book, BSC #6 Kristy’s Big Day ( a favorite of mine at the age of 11) and then Gymnasts #2 The First Meet- I can’t WAIT to recap a Gymnasts book and I have a few more! Freshman Dorm will also be recapped and snarked on, and I may try to get books from the Fabulous Five series!!

Sooo in case I do not post before then- MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANNUKAH, HAPPY KWANZAA ( is it Kwanzaa? ) and all that! I do hope to post before 2008 is over- stay tuned!

Sweet Valley High #26- Hostage!

First of all, the cover of this book is so totally snarkable! It’s Regina Morrow, looking quite frightened and dressed in quite the preppy manner, clutching her collar as someone in very fug, plain top has what appears to be a blindfold in her hand. I am going to say this right now- this particular SVH  book is SUCKY AS ALL GET OUT!! At least the plot moves along very quickly thank the dear Lord above. And yes this book does involve the heroically deaf Regina ( to quote the Dairi Burger) and her boring as hell bro, Nicholas.

We start with Liz and Jess hanging out at the pool, and Liz is worried because when she went to the Morrow household, a strange lady answered the door and said she was Regina’s aunt- but Elizabeth swears that both Kurt and Skye Morrow are only children ( Kurt and Skye are Mama and Daddy Morrow). See, Regina is supposed to be away in Switzerland getting her hearing restored, and before we hear about that, we have to hear about how raven haired Regina is gorgeous, and almost perfect other than the deaf thing- thank God THAT’S being taken care of! Well, some delivery boy says he delivered a package to the Morrows and saw Regina- and why he told Elizabeth I have no idea. Elizabeth is thinking maybe Regina came for a surprise visit to Switzerland to see Bruce, but Bruce Patman- who is Regina’s man and frankly, totes boring in this book- had no idea Regina was supposed to be visiting. So they call the Morrow house, where Lady Strange says that no one is home and as Regina’s ” aunt” she is watching the house. Liz is very worried that Regina could be trapped in her home by a madman, and it brings back bad memories of Liz kidnapped by Carl the orderly- yeah, I have to review ” Kidnapped” soon! Jessica pretty much tells Elizabeth she’s jumping to conclusions and to stop playing Nancy Drew.

Elizabeth is going to Regina’s house again to see what is wrong, as the gate was locked and that is arousing her suspicions. A dowdy lady answers the door, says Regina is not there, and slaps the door in Liz’s face. But then Elizabeth sees that Regina has entered the foyer! The woman harshly tells Regina ” I thought I told you to stay upstairs” , and Regina ” helplessly” goes up the stairs. When Liz arrives home, she is worried and sees her dad’s car in the driveway and at first figures that hmm Ned’s a lawyer he will know what to do. But then Elizabeth quickly changes her mind and is all ” oh forget it Jessica and I have to keep this a secret”-WTF? I know Liz is 16, but Regina could be in danger and Ned could help- OK maybe not Ned as he is not exactly Mr Effective, but he may know someone who is!! And Elizabeth  doesn’t say anything??? Elizabeth goes to Jess and says she’s decided to call the good ol’ Sweet Valley Police. Liz calls, the cop calls back all pissy saying he went to the house and the woman at the door said her name is Claire and she is Skye Morrow’s stepsis and is watching the house while they are gone and basically tells Liz to stop jumping to conclusions- turd cop! But Bruce has said Skye has no sibs! Now Elizabeth is VERY worried…

Jessica tells Elizabeth she does think maybe something is awry at the Morrows’. Jessica has a plan that the twins could ask Eddie Strong, the delivery dude, when he is next due to deliver something at the Morrow house, and they could sneak a note in with the package delivered.  And, Jess also says they could ask Eddie about making the delivery for him. Jess says Bruce can pretend to be the delivery boy.

Bruce agrees to the delivery plan. Bruce also reveals that he is very worried about Ken Matthews because he is failing English and may not get to play football. Who gives a crap, really? Eddie just told Jess that he was supposed to make a trip to the Morrows’ tomorrow, and the plan is in place. Jessica gets the idea that they can sneak the note for Regina into a fashion magazine, and figures the strange lady won’t pick it up, but from the way Elizabeth described her, she would NOT be into fashion- LOL Jess- you rule!

The delivery is successfully made. We then see Regina in her room, and we hear about how she was kidnapped from the airport and the woman said she had a gun and not to speak at all. The woman tells Regina she is Claire- Aunt Claire to Regina- and that Regina will be held hostage in her house, and her parents are being held hostage in another house and if Regina blabs she and her parents will be killed.  CREEPY MAN! Nicholas is conveniently safe, visiting a buddy of his in San Francisco named Buddy Ames- LOL wow- they must have got Buddy’s name from Willie Ames, and his character Buddy on Charles in Charge LOL- wonder what ol’ Nick and Buddy were doing in San Fran BTW… hey Nick couldn’t have Liz… So when Regina got to her house, a thin, mean looking man tells Regina her parents are at another home and safe and would be safe but they best cooperate. Basically, this skinny scary man wants some microchip or other that Kurt Morrow invented and this dude wants the prototype, thinking he will get mad rich. Kurt had fired this dude and he is pissed. This dude wants to force Daddy Morrow to call the plant manager to give the prototype to this douche- and the plant manager would be all ” Oh OK Kurt”- it doesn’t seem like a great plan but hey he did manage to kidnap three out of 4 Morrows- I guess the Morrows, rich as they  are, couldn’t afford any security. Regina finds the note, throws a note out of the window tied to a compact, and waits for Liz, Jess and Bruce to find it.

The twins and Bruce climb over the fence and find Regina’s note.  Regina wrote that she, Skye and Kurt were all kidnapped, and that Nicholas was with Buddy and she wanted them to call Nicholas right away to tell them what happened. Bruce calls Nicholas and tells him to get down to Sweet Valley right away as they need his help STAT! Nicholas wonders why but Bruce says it has to be explained in person and they will tell him tomorrow.

So Jessica, Liz and Bruce tell Nicholas what’s up and of course he’s upset and freaked out. Nicholas wants to check out the estate to see what is going on with Regina and her parents. Nicholas sees the thin man and his car in front, and he doesn’t see Nicholas or Liz, and Nicholas swears that thin man looks familiar. Nicholas says that there was someone at a plant in CT that worked with his dad a few years ago and the guy was a real ” snake”- who really calls people ” snakes” at age 18- named Phillip Denson, and the four teen detectives wonder if Phillip Denson is the one who kidnapped Regina and her ‘rents!

Jessica, Liz and Bruce are cutting school to go down to Fort Carroll ( oh no it’s NOT Sweet Valley) to see if it’s the same Phillip Denson or whatever. When they get to the home, Jess sees a hot guy mowing the lawn, and goes to flirt with Lawn Mower Hottie to get more information. Jessica finds out that the guy’s name is Mitch DENSON- gee who is HE related to? Jessica tries to ask for an ice cold drink so she could get into the house but Mitch says no as his dad is sleeping. As Jess turns to go back to the car, she sees Mr and Mrs Morrow, looking terrified, in the window of the home! Elizabeth then thinks to herself that if they all knew when Denson was going to go to the plant to try to get the prototype, then could all try to get Regina and her parents out of this. Now of course since they now have this new piece of info from Nick about Phillip Denson- couldn’t they now call the cops or get Ned Wakefield in on this by now? Oh no of course not-the twins are heroes and are sure to get Regina out of this by herself- who needs the COPS?

Nicholas, Bruce, Jess and Liz are at the Patman house the next day. They are re-reading Regina’s letter to see if they can get more info out of it. The letter says Regina heard Claire on the phone saying something like ” money is heaven.” Jessica thinks it is a code and has everyone else repeat ” Money is heaven” over and over- and Jessica finally figures out Regina meant Monday at 7- so that must be when Phillip is going to get the prototype! I don’t get where Monday is heaven meant Monday at 7 but whatever. Or how Regina really thought Jess, Elizabeth and Bruce are so fuckin heroic and awesome that they’d really save her- well then again Jess and Liz are Wakefields- they can do ANYTHING! Elizabeth then has a plan- Jessica and Bruce can go to Phil’s home to rescue Kurt and Skye while the kidnappers are at the plant. Elizabeth and Nick will go to the plant and meet Regina and Claire and Liz will try to stall them as Nicholas calls the po-po- fullproof plan, I say.

Jessica is going to Phil D’s home to try to get Mitch to leave the house with her on Monday and Jessica wears a halter and a mini for the ocassion- HOT!!! Jess asks Mitch to go to a beach party and he is all being a wiener and going ” I am not sure, I am not sure” so Jess says ” Oh I will come by Monday to see if you still wanna go or whatever” and Mitch says that would be fine. God Mitch what kind of dude are you that you don’t totally want to bang Jess right there on the front porch??

So Monday comes, and Jess and Bruce go to Denson’;s home. Jessica can’t get Mitch to leave with her, and then Denson gets into the driveway and Jess tries to yell out for Bruce, Mitch grabs Jessica and Jessica bites his arm- and Bruce runs out with Mr and Mrs Morrow but then the Morrow parents, Bruce and Jess are all faced by Phil Denson with a GUN! As Phil threatens Jess and Bruce, Mitch grabs the gun from Phil, and Bruce, Jess and Ma and Daddy Morrow are able to run off!

Nicholas and Liz are together and Nick tells Elizabeth how thrilled he is that Jess and Liz ( no mention of Bruce) are risking their lives to save the Morrow fam, and he is soo grateful. I swear this book is more about ass kissing the Wakefield twins and less about the stupid Morrow kidnapping. As they are at the plant, Liz tries to distract Claire and Regina but it’s not really working and the police aren’t believing Nick. And- Phil Denson, Mitch, Bruce and Jess get to the plant! There is some big scuffle, Bruce is wrestling with Mr Denson for a gun, and finally the police come and the Morrows are saved- DUH. And barely anything really happens in this book, honestly, and the suspense crap SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED it really did. Maybe this book is trying to be an SVH thriller, or a pre-thriller but DAMN does it fail! And of course Mrs Morrow wants to throw a huge party to celebrate Ma, Daddy and Regina Morrow’s awful ordeal- and umm yeah the fact that they are all safe now.  Ummm Skye Morrow you BEST not think your party will BEGIN to compare to ANY Lila Fowler party! And of course, the party will honor the twins- and oh yeah Bruce and Nick too.

So the book ends at the fab Morrow party, with Jess and Lila in disbelief that Ken Matthews is now dating ” cultured” ” arty” Suzanne Hanlon. What an unlikely couple- I wonder if Suzanne will be like that snotty, richy lady on Three’s Company who dated Jack and she will make Ken wear a yellow polo shirt with a pink sweater tied around his shoulders, and play tennis with ” Daddy”. That’d be HAWT

To read along- I am reviewing ” Memories” from SVH next. “Memories” sorta sucks, but not as bad as this shit book. I am then reviewing ” Mallory on Strike”, Freshman Dorm Numero 16, then Sweet Valley U’s ” The Return of William White Part Dos”- I don’t have part 1 sorry- and then a SLEEPOVER FRIENDS book! I LOVE those fuckin’ Sleepover Friends- ESPECIALLY STEPHANIE! Truthfully, I preferred Kate as a kid, since both me and Kate loved movies, but I loved movies like ” Mary Poppins,” ” The Little Mermaid” and ” Troop Beverly Hills”- not 5 hour long Swedish films like Kate! What kind of 5th grader likes the crap Kate likes? But I will discuss that more as I review that SF book…

In the meantime, these Sweet Valley bitches are ALWAYS kidnapped! And Sweet Valley is the perfect town? NO WAY!

Sweet Valley High #46-Decisions

Oh God this cover is so darn ” snarkable” it’s not even funny! Robin Wilson resembles Justine Bateman during the Family Ties days, but kind of trashier than that. And why does George Warren look like a 50 year old Matt Damon? Or maybe even Stephen Collins, the dad from 7th Heaven. Either way he’s supposed to be 18 and not 50- he even is rockin some gray hair!

At the beginning of this fine novel, Jessica tells Liz she will have to get a ride from Jeffrey French, Liz’s man ( I LOVED Jeffrey French when I was 16!) because Jessica has a babysitting job to go to. Steven knows some dude who needs someone to watch his little sister while he is studying his music, and as Jess has no money she eagerly accepts the job. Now, how come these fuckin twins never have money? They should either get jobs at Lisette’s or the Dairi Burger, or come on Neddy Boy Wakefield is a lawyer, right? I remember when I was younger I kind of figured lawyers would only rake in about as much as my dad does as a machinist since it seemed that the Wakefields were always like struggling or something-God, can’t each twin at least have her own Fiat?????

Meanwhile, we learn that Robin Wilson is fuckin brilliant, and she gets straight A’s, and has the option of leaving Sweet Valley High before her senior year to attend college. Robin applied to Sarah Lawrence early decision, and got in! And her rich aunt Fiona will pay for all of the tuition if Robin goes to Sarah Lawrence because Aunt Fiona and Robin’s grandma went there. But Robin feels torn because she wants to continue her diving ( so Sarah Lawrence has no diving?) and study computers, which again apparently Sarah Lawrence has no computers or comp classes, so Robin may want to try for a diving scholarship and go to UCLA. But then Fiona wouldn’t pony up all this cash- but if Robin is a diver, and wicked smart, she’d get mad financial aid, wouldn’t she? God this book is fuckin dumb. But I chose to review it so…. Robin is also torn because if Robin goes to Sarah Lawrence, she would leave George Warren, her devoted, cheated on Enid with Robin, boyfriend who attends Sweet Valley College- now doesn’t Steven Wakefield go to SVC? Why does it seem that he never hung out with George Warren? They both love going after high school girls, they should build on that common bond and be friends!

So Jessica arrives to Alex Kane’s house. ( Alex Kane is the older brother of Allison, the girl Jess will baby sit for- too bad the BSC lives in CT and not Sweet Valley!) and Alex is fuckin HOT! Alex is also super into music and pretty much says that for him to like a girl she has to also love music.  Jess knows shit about music. But Jessica hears Allison play the recorder and figures shit if a 6 year old can play- so can Jessica! So Jessica decides that the way to Alex’s heart is learning the recorder!! I guess Sweet Valley kids are never forced into learning the recorder as we are in CT- otherwise, Jess would have obviously made it to 16 and knew what a recorder was! I cannot believe that Jess had no idea what a recorder was until she saw the 6 year old play it!

Back to Robin. Robin and George are going out for a cozy evening at the Dairi Burger. Robin tries to bring up her college dilemma to George, and George just says ” well you can go to UCLA, Robin.” Robin says she doesn’t really know how she’d pay for UCLA and George is like ” well get scholarships and loans- or how about your rich aunt?” Robin says that Aunt Fiona’s cash always comes with strings attached and George is all ” Well what will she do make you go to a certain college? Ummmm yeah George that is KIND of what Robin is trying to tell you, douchebag. But Robin decides not to tell George about how she may consider going to Sarah Lawrence, and so George still does not know that Robin got into that school early decision. Now, Annie Whitman and the Wakefield twins do know- which becomes important. Read on…

Jessica buys the recorder. When Elizabeth sees the recorder, she remembers how she saw two girls do a recorder duet on the beach once- SERIOUSLY??? and Elizabeth picks it up, looks at the manual really quickly, and plays a few notes- and what do you know- Liz is a recorder NATURAL! But Elizabeth realizes that she cannot possibly pick up playing the recorder, because Jessica would have a fit because it seems that Liz is good at every fucking thing and overshadows Jess, and Liz does not want Jess to feel bad because Jessica apparently sucks ass at the recorder. Don’t worry Jessica I do not have a musical bone in my body, so I am feelin’ ya sista!

In our next scene, Elizabeth is at the library and runs into George. Elizabeth tells ol’ Georgie pie that he must be so proud that Robin got into Sarah Lawrence. George’s expression tells Liz that George had no friggin clue that Robin got into Sarah Lawrence, and now Liz feels like a turd for saying anything. Meanwhile, at Robin’s humble abode, Mrs. Wilson goes on and on about how Aunt Fiona is going to get the kitchen remodeled for the fam because Robin is going to attend Sarah Lawrence. Wow- Mama Wilson is pimping her daughter out for a kitchen! Robin says she is not really sure she wants to attend Sarah Lawrence and is feeling torn about having to leave George and possibly not dive anymore, and Mrs. Wilson calls her selfish and immature- WHAT???? I LOVE Sweet Valley parents- they rate right up there w/ the ‘rents of Stoneybrook, let me tell ya. And more swell news- Aunt Fiona is coming to visit next week to celebrate both a gallery opening in LA and Robin’s admission to Sarah Lawrence! Robin is none too thrilled. George arrives to pick Robin up, and George confronts Robin by saying ” My girlfriend wants to break up with me, and doesn’t even have the courage to say so” or some shit like that. George tells Robin he knows about Sarah Lawrence, and Robin figures that since Annie knew about it, Annie told George to break them up- WHAT? Why would Robin think that her best bud would do something like that? God, this reminds me of how I couldn’t stand Robin even at age 13, never mind now. George starts saying that Robin wants to go to UCLA and Robin should just tell Aunt Fiona that. But the thing is, Robin is not really sure what she wants to do at this point, and feels that both Georgie AND Aunt Fiona are trying to rule her life. And Robin has the diving championships in one week, and this college crap has her so torn up inside that she has not really been concentrating on diving.

At cheerleading practice, Robin will not talk to Annie. Robin confronts Annie and calls her a traitor and Annie has no clue what Robin is talking about. Jessica knows that Liz knew, and that Liz told George but of course Jess isn’t going to say that to Robin.

Then we have diving practice. Tracy King is Robin’s biggest rival, and is trying to psych Robin out. Robin’s coach sees that Robin is upset, and Robin tells the coach her worries. Coach says that it’s a hard decision, but she needs to concentrate at doing well at the diving championships. 

Jessica is at the beach babysitting for Allison, and is lamenting about how Alex still will not pay any attention to her to Lila. This scene is shitty. Moving on- Elizabeth is at home and is bored with studying- WHY LIZ WHY? So Liz begins to play the recorder and is playing for about an hour before Jessica comes home. Alice Wakefield later comments on how Jessica really seems to be picking up the recorder, but it’s odd because later on it sounded worse than the beginning. Of course, Liz knows that’s because Alice heard Liz play well, and then Jessica biting. Liz hopes Jessica never finds out about Liz’s love for that fuckin recorder!

Jess is at another babysitting job with Allison, and tries to ask Alex advice about the recorder. Since all Alex cares about is writing his shit symphony, Alex barely pays her any attention.

The big day arrives- Aunt Fiona is here! Now, guys, I definitely want comments comparing Aunt Fiona and Aunt Cecilia. Who does everyone feel is the bigger bitch? Now, first I must describe Fiona’s visit. Fiona first says she doesn’t like how Mrs. Wilson decorated the living room. She then brags about how she flew first class to CA. She then tells Robin she is glad Robin finally ditched that ” baby fat” of hers. Robin tells Aunt Fiona about how much she loves diving, and Fiona pretty much says diving is low class trash, and at Sarah Lawrence Robin can get into cultural events and forget diving. Aunt Fiona also criticizes Mrs. Wilson ( Irene) about the romance novel on her coffee table, and Irene says that her neighbor, Mrs. King, ( Tracy’s ma!) recommended the book and Auntie says it figured because they have a tacky carriage boy statue in the front yard. This also becomes important later on. So Irene and Fiona begin discussing how Irene wants to redecorate the living room. Mrs. Wilson was going to enlist Alice Wakefield’s help in the design, and Aunt Fiona says she hopes the designer is not ” some housewife who took some correspondence courses”- HAH HAH HAH Aunt Fiona! Robin then mentions that she hopes Aunt Fiona can go to her diving championship, and Fiona says diving is a waste of time and energy- God Fiona is being a cuntbag!

Jessica is at Alex’s house and decides to pretend to faint to get his attention. Oddly enough, this works and Alex finally does notice Jess! Then he says that he is going to Julliard next year and will Jess wait for him for a year while he is gone? Jessica is pretty much like fuck you and now that Jess has lost interest in Alex, the recorder is no longer at all interesting either- it’s a boring instrument anyway, Jess decides. When Jess arrives home, she catches Lizzie playing the recorder, and Liz is all freaked out. Jessica says Liz can play the recorder all she wants as she has lost interest. So the B plot is over. 

Robin, her brothers Troy and Adam, Mama Wilson and Auntie Cuntbag- I mean, Fiona go to a fancy restaurant to celebrate Robin’s acceptance into SL. Robin finally breaks down and tells Aunt Fiona she is honestly not sure if she is going to attend Sarah Lawrence or not. Fiona and Irene have a fuckin fit over this, and Aunt Fiona says that it’s her money, so she decides how it’s spent, and it will only be spent if Robin goes to Sarah Lawrence. Robin then says ” I’d rather starve to death than take your money” and runs out of the restaurant. Robin calls George for comfort, and he starts blabbing about how Robin’s fam can’t ruin ” their” plans and send her to college 3,000 miles away. Robin is like ” wow this confirms it. George is also trying to control where I attend school.” George Warren sucks ass and he’s always sucked ass. He is no Jeffrey French!! When Robin gets home, Liz calls Robin to tell her that Annie Whitman is not the one who told George about Robin getting into Sarah L. Liz found out that Robin thought Annie told George through Enid at the DB earlier that day. Robin is glad Liz called, and feels bad that she bitched Annie out for no reason.

It’s the day of the diving championship. George is there to cheer Robin on, as are a bunch of the cheerleaders, but her fam is nowhere to be seen. Robin starts diving really poorly as she cannot concentrate, and Tracy King is gloating about beating Robin. While at the meet, Liz and George talk, and Elizabeth tells George how Robin has been pretty torn up over this college shit, and George finally realizes that he’s been a tool- yeah Liz saves the day! George says that he has to somehow salvage this meet and do something about Robin and her family.

What George does is he gets Robin’s family to attend the diving championships!! He gets them to attend by mentioning Tracy King, and Aunt Fiona goes because that family of the tacky statues is not gonna win over Robin! So the family cheers Robin on, and Robin does better and better and ends up getting a perfect 10, and beating Tracy! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! George tells Robin he realizes what a tool he’s been, and Robin decides that she does not want to miss senior year at SVH, and she will not graduate early to go to Sarah Lawrence OR UCLA-woooooo hoooo! Who wants to miss senior year at SVH anyway???? And all is right in the world of Robin Wilson- at least until she becomes anorexic….

 

My next three reviews are as follows- yet another BSC review, followed by 2 Freshman Dorm books! God, I LOVE Freshman Dorm! I plan to get more Freshman Dorm books from Amazon!

BSC #61- Jessi’s Awful Secret

This is the second Baby Sitters Club book featuring Jessi that I have reviewed. I am guessing that the person who I bought the lot of books from on Ebay is a big Jessi fan. Well, shall we get started?

 

The cover depicts Jessi looking very miserable as she stares at Mary Bramstedt, who looks skinny, pale and miserable. So why is Mary so skinny?? So we begin our tale in Jessi’s dance class- I swear that every friggin Jessi book starts with Jessi in ballet class. Jessi says that baby sitting is almost as important to her as ballet-WHAT?? Baby sitting should be priority NUMERO UNO, Ramsey!!! Madame Noelle, Jessi’s dance teacher, announces that Stamford Ballet School will be holding a six week dance class for low income kids, and they need student volunteers to help with the class. Naturally Jessi volunteers right away as children rock, and Jessi is a little surprised that only one other kid volunteered- and that kid is Mary. Jessi comments that Mary is quite the perfectionist, and Mary has to get every dance move exactly right- to the point where she is very stiff and barely looks like she has fun dancing. After dance class, as the girls are changing in the locker room, Mary starts saying she is fat. Some bitch named Mindy Howard claims that she lost 10 pounds and she is now jumping much higher because of it. Jessi thinks in her head that statement is a crock of shit- Jessi should have told Mindy that out loud. Jessi also says that Mary is already quite thin and doesn’t have to lose weight. Jessi also mentions that dancers are very competitive and have to be thin, and Jessi thanks her lucky stars that her whole family is thin, except for Aunt Cecilia- and Jessi hopes she doesn’t take after that cow of a woman! OK, Jessi- kinda bitchy statement.

So Chapter #2 is the usual boring BSC meeting. During the meeting, Mrs. Newton calls needing a sitter for Jamie and Lucy. None of the girls are free to take that job, so Kristy has to call Shannon Kilbourne, one of the alternate officers and the gal whose mansion is near Kristy’s, to take the job. But Kristy is trying to avoid Shannon because Shannon wants to hang out all the time- gee, what a bitch.  So Claudia, Stace and Dawn all say that if Shannon now has more free time, Shannon is free to call any of them to hang out as Kristy is so busy with the Krushers and BSC- being that really is Kristy’s life. So Kristy is grateful that Stacey, Dawn and Claud will hang out with Shannon, and calls Shannon to say so.

So the first dance of ” Dancing With The Kids” begins. Madame Dupre is the teacher and THANK GOD she has no heavy French accent!! We are introduced to the other student volunteers- Vince, a boy that goes to Mary’s school and is a stuck up snot per Mary, Raul, a hottie Latino boy who Mary wants to suck off really badly, and 2 girls named Darcy and Sue. We are also introduced to some of the kiddies- Yvonne is the little bouncy butterball who best lose weight if she thinks she is going to dance being so plump, Devon Ramirez who is a very rambunctious tot, Nora and Jane who pretty much are lazy goof offs, and Martha, a very pretty black girl with lots of talent. Madame Dupre has the kids warm up and then just dance around to the theme from Fantasia, and Jessi and Mary wonder if Madame D. is going to teach the kids any actual moves soon. Mary and Jessi figure they will just wait and see.

So Kristy babysits for the Papadakis kids Hannie, Linny and Sari and Karen and Nancy Dawes, some other friend of Hannie’s, come over to play. All the kids do is play Let’s All Come In that shit game Karen invented and no one cares. Shannon stops by the house during Kristy’s sitting job and says that she is meeting Claud and Stacey downtown that weekend and Kristy is all ” cool”- I SMELL PLOT B DO YOU?

At the next dance class, Jessi notices that Mary is checking herself out in the full length mirror CONSTANTLY and scrutinizing herself really intently. After dance class, Darcy asks Jessi and Mary if they want to go to Burger King after the class is done. Jessi figures it’s a great way to get to know the other kids so she says yes. Jessi convinces Mary to come as well since Mary’s been wanting to get to know Raul better.  This class seems as zooey as the last- the kids learn plies and grande battements, and Madame Dupre just lets the kids do the moves in whatever way and is not correcting them, saying that first you are to rid the kids of bad habits, and then teach them to be dancers.

At Burger King, the students all discuss the class thus far. Raul feels Madame Dupre doesn’t really care about the kids because they are a bunch of poor kids to her, and Mary disagrees saying that she is teaching them, right? Mary is all freaking out over all of the calories in BK food, and she then orders a soda and fries, as it would look odd not to order anything. Mary keeps breaking the fries in half and moving them around on her tray, and her soda barely seems to go down in level. Jessi finds this all really odd.

Next dance class, Madame Dupre introduces them to a new piano teacher who will be playing music for the kids as they dance. Madame is then having the kids do the five positions, and Devon is totally goofing around so Madame has Devon do a time out. Jessi observes that Madame is totally switching gears here. Then, Mary is all flushed and sweaty, and is resting her hands against her knees. Mary tells Jessi she thinks she’s getting a virus. Madame calls Mary’s mom to bring her home. Then, Madame tells Devon if he can’t stop being goofy and distracting, he should not come back. Shape up, Dev!! After class, Jessi sees Martha leaving the class with a very elegant black woman who keeps staring at Jessi. Hmmmm…

So begins another BSC meeting. Everyone notices that Jessi is pretty quiet, and she tells them her concerns about Mary- how Mary is always staring at herself in the mirror, the BK incident, and how Mary was all weak and sweaty in the last dance class. Claudia suggests that all of the girls get books from Janine’s room ( Janine being Claud’s genius older sister) to read about eating disorders to see if Mary could possibly have one. As the girls read, Jessi sees that Mary has many of the symptoms- oh noes! Thank God Ann M Martin consulted a doc for this book, so that the symptoms are actually written about in an accurate fashion- why didn’t ol’ Ann consult anyone before writing about diabetes ( like Bret Michaels) but no matter. So then Mary Anne asks Jessi if she can tell one of her ballet teachers and Jessi says no because ” Mary may tire of dieting on her own”- ummmmm….. God, heaven forbid the BSC EVER get adults involved! Afterward, Stacey, Dawn and Claud describe their awesome evening with Shannon, and then they say they are going to a movie with Shannon tonight. Kristy seems rather perturbed that Dawn, Stacey and Claud are all up Shannon’s behind, and Claudia asks Kristy if she wants to go to the movies and Kristy says no because she’s seeing her man Bart’s basketball game- but Jessi can see that Kristy looks really upset. For some reason, all I could think of now is the episode of the Golden Girls where Rose’s sister Holly visits, and Holly is always out doing fun stuff with Dorothy and Blanche, and Rose is never invited by Holly. Granted, I doubt Shannon will start doing Claudia’s boyfriend but still… to me there are shades of that GG episode in my mind re: this Shannon thing.  Of course, Kristy started it by saying she was too busy for Shannon….

Stacey describes a sitting job at the Brewer house. Stacey is sitting for Andrew, Karen, David Michael and Emily because Kristy has the basketball game and Sam and Charlie are also busy, and Watson and Kristy’s mom are going to some big deal benefit. While Stacey is sitting for the kids, Shannon stops by after she goes to the movies with Dawn and Claud and Shannon and Stace are chatting when Kristy comes in. Kristy has a FIT that Shannon is over there and asks if there are issues at home ” since Shannon never seems to be there anymore.” So Shannon is like ” OK time for home” and Stacey and Shannon both wonder why Kristy has a bug up her butt.

Jessi is back in her regular dance class, and Mary faints!!! Madame Noelle gets the smelling salts, and Mary wakes up. Madame Noelle has the receptionist call Mary’s parents and Jessi waits with Mary in the lobby until her parents arrive. Jessi confronts Mary about her not eating, and Mary flips out after Jessi says she has all of the symptoms and Jessi knows because she and her friends looked it up in a book. That is an odd way of confronting someone about an eating disorder, Jessi! Then Jessi sees Madame Noelle talk to Mary’s dad, and Madame suggests to Mary and her dad that Mary see a doctor.

At the next dance class, Devon is back in the class and really behaving and concentrating. WOOO HOO.Martha continues to rock ass at ballet, and Yvonne continues to bounce. After the class, the ” volunteer gang” is going to hit the Burger King again ( I never knew ballet dancers were so into BK food) but Mary declines, saying she has to go running- UH OH!! Jessi points that she thought Mary was supposed to take it easy, but Mary tells Jessi to stop acting like her mom.

Jessi gets a letter from her NYC boyfriend, Quint, and he writes about how he knows of a lot of gals in his ballet class with eating disorders. He also suggests that Jessi ask the dance teachers about offering a scholarship to the 2 most talented kids in the class Jessi is volunteering for. Jessi thinks this sounds like a rad idea. Oh my LORD- Quint’s letter sounds it was written by a 35 year old man, and not an 11 year old boy!!! 

So now Claudia has a sitting job at the Korman household. The kids are having a huge snowball fight, and Shannon stops by with her sisters. Claud and Shannon are having a good old time making forts and playing in the snow with the kids, and Kristy drops by and is all pissy, and Kristy, Claud and Shannon have an argument because Kristy accuses Shannon of trying to steal Kristy’s pals! AGAIN KRISTY THIS WAS YOUR GREAT IDEA! Kristy is such an immature douche in this book.

So Jessi tries to talk to Mary about her eating disorder again. Mary again tells Jessi to fuck off. At this point, Jess, I’d kind of tell an adult if I were you. Well, instead, Mary faints AGAIN! Finally Jessi tells Madame Noelle her suspicions, and Madame tells Jessi that she figured out that Mary may have an eating disorder. So Madame tells Mary she needs to get help, and Madame is going to talk to Mary’s ma about it. BTW LOVE that Pa B., Mary’s daddy, did not bother taking Mary to the doc the last time- shouldn’t Madame call DCF for medical neglect? Hey, the social worker in me has to say that!! Mary is still all teary now, and Madame tells Jessi thanks for the help.

So, the dance teachers love the idea of the scholarship for the kids, and Watson and Elizabeth Brewer are going to donate the money! Kristy and Shannon make up of course. The kids then have a big dance recital and all do really well. Jessi finally talks to Martha’s ma,  aka regal black woman,and Martha’s mom was glad to see an African American ballet dancer, as she had been told that black women do not make it in ballet. Jessi says that is changing, and that Martha is uber-talented. And Martha and Devon win the scholarships to the dance school!! Isn’t that just awesome??? And Mary is seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist to help her deal with her eating disorder.  I can give Ann M some points for not making Mary all better right away.

So ends a very special Baby Sitters Club book. Tune in next time for yet another BSC review- with snark GALORE!