BSC #5- Dawn and the Impossible Three

God, I have sooo many issues with this book it’s not even funny. And the title is just ONE of them!!! The kids aren’t really the impossible one- the situation and the mom involved are what the impossible things are. But moving on…

This is the BSC book that introduces Dawn. Dawn is the newest member of the Baby Sitters Club and she says it’s the most important thing in her life. Well, naturally. At the beginning of our tale, Dawn is babysitting for the Pikes- well for Nicky, Margo, Claire and Mal- yeah Dawn and them used to babysit for Mal don’t ya love it? Dawn then starts talking about how she met Mary Anne, and Mary Anne got her into the club, and now Mary Anne’s dad and Dawn’s ma are dating- Dawn’s mom and Mary Anne’s dad met in high school, split apart for some reason, and they met up again and are dating. Wooooo… and Dawn is bitching that she misses the 80 degree weather in Cali, and how it’s only 70 in Stoneybrook, CT, right now- so???? and yeah yeah your mom uprooted you and forced you to move to CT- blah blah blah cry me a river, OK? Dawn’s dad seemed very involved and cool- couldn’t Dawn and Jeff have stayed with Pa Schafer? But moving on.  Nicky was playing with the Barrett kids- Suzi, Buddy and Marnie and Suzi skinned her knee. Dawn made the knee all better. Then, Mary Anne and Dawn are walking to a BSC meeting together, and Mary Anne is going to redecorate her room-well put up some posters, and maybe get a new bedspread and rug. I have been looking into doing some room redecorating myself- bitchin’. And Mary Anne asks Dawn for help. 

During the meeting, a Mrs. Barrett calls and says Mrs. Pike gave her the BSC’s number- thanks, Mrs. Pike.  Buddy is 7, Suzi is 4 and Marnie is a year and a half. And Mrs. Barrett warns that she and Ham ( Ham is her hubby) are going through a divorce and it’s hard on the kids, and Mrs. Barrett needs to find a job etc. Dawn feels she can symphathize since she just went through a divorce too ( well she was affected by her parents’ divorce).

Mary Anne and Dawn start working on redecorating Mary Anne’s room, and Kristy stops by and is upset that Mary Anne didn’t ask Kristy to help. Gee, Kristy- maybe it’s because your taste sucks monkey balls? That begins plot B- well it’s sort of plot B- as you can guess Kristy is jealous that Mary Anne made another friend besides Kristy herself. Well, get over it, Kristy GOD!!!! Kristy is such a friggin BABY sometimes!

At lunch the next, Dawn, Mary Anne and Kristy are sitting with the Shillaber twins, Mariah and Miranda- who I want to say disappear after this book. Kristy starts bitching about how she has to live in Watson’s mansion when Kristy’s mommy and Watson marry. Oh no you have to move to mansion- again, Kristy Pie, cry me a river! But enough of that crap it’s on to the first time Dawn sits at the Barretts’!

When Dawn arrives, Buddy is pointing a ray gun at her and wearing flippers. Dawn says ” Oh I don’t like guns so no guns when I babysit” and Buddy puts the gun down right away. Now if the kid were ” impossible” wouldn’t he say ” screw you” and keep shooting or ” Well, Mommy says I can have guns so there!” Dawn notices that the house is a total pigsty. Then, a gorgeous, model-esque woman comes down the stairs- Mrs. Barrett. Mrs. Barrett is rushing out the door and leaves no special instructions, no emergency phone #’s ( she just says ” Oh call Mrs. Pike” ) and says ” Just sit.” and rushes out the door. Dawn makes a game where the kids are in a ” cleaning race” and they are going to see how long it will take to clean a few rooms in the house and the kids think it’s really fun. Then, Dawn starts coming all of the kids’ hair ( because all of the kids looked like ragamuffins) and Dawn and the kids start talking about divorce. Dawn says she knows her dad will never come back, and that upsets Suzi. Suzi then has an ” accident” and Dawn cleans her up and puts on fresh pants and undies for her. Mrs. Barrett comes home, says Dawn is ” a wonder”  and the kids say they hope Dawn comes back and Dawn goes ” anytime.” Oh, no…. I sense trouble….

In the next chapter, Dawn realizes that she has to resolve shit with Kristy as Kristy seems to hate her. She asks Kristy to walk home from school, and Mary Anne won’t join them as she is babysitting. Dawn shows Kristy the barn attached to her property, and Kristy loves the barn and they have some fun playing in the barn. Kristy then says she’s been thinking- there should be a club member who can take over if anyone is sick and she’d call that person the “Official Alternate Officer” and would Dawn like the job? Dawn says YES and that is how the Alternate Officer is born.

When Dawn arrives to the next sitting job at the Barrett household, when Dawn arrives in the morning,the kids all have wicked messy hair, they haven’t eaten breakfast, and the house is an utter mess. Mrs. Barrett rushes off again, and the sitting job begins. On this day, the kids and Dawn are going to have a picnic with Stace, Claud and the Pike kids. Dawn feeds the kids, gets them all showered, brushed and dressed and makes brownies for the picnic and the kids are finally all ready to go to the Pikes’ house. Dawn goes to feed Marnie a brownie, and Mal FREAKS OUT! Dawn is like ” Mal, what the fuck you will get your own brownie” and Mallory says no that’s not it- Marnie has a chocolate allergy! Dawn wants to talk to Mrs. Barrett about her issues, but decides not to because Mrs. Barrett just looks too hot- ummmm ok…. What I do not get- Dawn is paid to just baby sit, but does all of the housecleaning and cleaning of the kids. The house is always disorganized, Mrs. Barrett barely pays attention to the kids, and Mrs. Barrett never says where she will be when she leaves and this all bothers her. But Dawn NEVER TELLS AN ADULT- not her mother, not even Mrs. Pike. Get a fuckin’ adult involved because you are not being treated right!!!! 12 year olds cannot handle every little issue alone!

So Claudia remarks that Dawn is now sitting at the Barretts constantly. Mrs. Barrett keeps Dawn so busy that Dawn even missed a meeting of the BSC once- Mrs. Barrett said she’d be back by 5:30 but was not back until 6:05! Dawn has a short convo with Mrs. Barrett saying that Mrs. B should have told her about Marnie’s chocolate allergy- yeah Mrs. B because if Mal wasn’t around, Dawn would have killed the kid! Mrs. Barrett says she is sorry about that, and Dawn asks if there is anything else Dawn should know about the children. Mrs. Barrett says well all Dawn should know is that if the kids’ father calls, Dawn should not allow him to talk to the children. OH-KAY… Dawn and Mrs. Barrett then see that Suzy and Buddy made a huge mess out of the playroom, Dawn cleans it all up and Mrs. B then says Dawn is ” the glue holding the family together.” Ummm Dawn is TWELVE- Mrs. B is putting all that shit on a 12 year old kid? Then good ol Ham Barrett Sr calls saying it’s his day to have the kids and Mrs B is half an hour late- and yep Mrs. B got her days screwed up- and Mrs. Barrett is off to the take the kids to their dad’s place.

So more Barrett misadventures- one day Dawn is there, and Suzi is vomiting like crazy. Mrs Barrett gave the number of the temp job that she got, and when Dawn calls it’s “Hurley’s Garage.” Good one, Mrs. B! Dawn is trying to call all of these employment agencies in the phone book, but to no avail. Wonderful. Another day, Buddy is all upset because Mrs. Barrett cannot be bothered with helping him with his family tree project. So Dawn has to help him with the project- so has Dawn told her mother yet what’s going on? NOPE!!! Because Dawn is a 12 year old babysitter, and she can do this all by herself! And since Dawn writes this crap in the notebook, how come Claud, Stacey, Kristy or Mary Anne haven’t told Dawn to tell an adult??? SHEESH!

More grousing from Kristy because Watson’s mansion is on the other side  of town, and Kristy has no clue how she will get to meetings. Bummer for Kristy. The BSC is trying to figure out what she can do, but Kristy says it seems pointless and she may have to leave the club- WHAT?????? NOOOOOOO- not the END OF THE BSC!!!

There is some picnic with Mary Anne and Dawn, and Dawn’s grandparents, and the Barrett family, and Kristy and David Michael. Dawn’s mom actually buys a grill and cooks red meat on it!! And apparently, Dawn’s grandparents didn’t like Richard Spier because his family was not very well off. Well, now Richard is a lawyer so he showed them! HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH And yeah this chapter is boring. So let’s move on…

Mary Anne babysits for the Barretts because Dawn is not free, and to Mary Anne the kids could be little terrors, but then she took them on a puddle walk ( they walked through and splashed in puddles) and it was all good. Then Ham B called, and Mary Anne lied and said the kids weren’t available, and Ham is pissy now.

So Dawn is now at the Barrett residence on another day. Dawn allows Buddy to go out in the yard as she is getting the girls ready to go outside. When Dawn, Suzy and Marnie get outside, Dawn cannot find Buddy anywhere! Dawn calls Mrs. Pike- oh NOW you call- and Mrs. Pike has other neighborhood adults and kids get together to try to find Buddy.  Then, Jordan Pike says ” Oh Buddy went to his lesson” and Suzi says Buddy takes no lessons. Jordan said he thought Buddy was going to a lesson, because Buddy got into some man’s car. hmmmm… So Ma Pike calls the police. Mrs B is shopping with a friend, so there is no way to reach her- remember, this is before everyone had cell phones.

The police are grilling Jordan over the car and if he could see the man in the car. Finally, Buddy calls!! He was with his dad, and he wanted to call Dawn because he never told Dawn where he was going, and he felt bad- ummm 7 year olds would really feel guilty over that? Turns out Mr. Barrett wanted to take all 3 kids, because he was pissed that Mrs. Barrett forgot it was his weekend to have the kiddies AGAIN- but then when he only saw Buddy, he just decided to take Buddy. So all is solved- well not really. Dawn FINALLY has that talk with Mrs B, and Mrs B promises that all will change. Dawn doesn’t really buy it so Mrs B and Dawn agree that Dawn could sit a few more times on a trial basis, and if Mrs B messes up Dawn will not sit for them again. One assumes since Dawn gave Mrs B a good talking to, everything was resolved.. yeah.

So the end- Kristy has great news- Charlie Thomas can drive Kristy to and from meetings for 50 cents each way- God, Charlie must have no life to agree to that shit- yeah!! 🙂 And Mary Anne wanted a pic of the BSC for her room- so all of the gals dressed nicely, and they have Jeff go to Claud’s to take a picture of all of the members, and Mary Anne cries. The end.

 

Ann M Martin wrote some blurb at the back of this book about how Dawn had difficult times at the Barretts, and offers valuable advice to kids who may face this situation. Ann M says you have to be sure to ask for emergency numbers- yeah Dawn DID do that- and if the parents want you to do additional chores, they should pay you accordingly. Of course, Ann M does not mention that if it gets too be too overwhelming for you deal with, you tell a responsible grown up. Of course not.

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One Response to “BSC #5- Dawn and the Impossible Three”

  1. I forgot that the Barretts’ dad’s name was HAM! Like HAM LUSHBOUGH on The Golden Girls!

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