Sweet Valley Twins #20- Playing Hooky

Jessica and Elizabeth are at the mall. Lila Fowler runs into the twins as Jessica is buying purple sneakers. Jessica also was complaining about how some random girl is moving out of Sweet Valley, and she was a member of the Boosters ( the stupid SVMS cheering squad) so now they are down a Booster. Jessica and Elizabeth are on the basketball team, and apparently Jessica is the best player on the squad. Yeah- Jessica is the next Rebecca Lobo, apparently ( only not as fug). So Lila runs into the twins and says that people on the opposite side of the mall are screaming because apparently the star of ” All the World”, sixteen year old Kent Kellerman, is at the mall! Jessica goes off with Liz and tells her to pay for the sneakers. As Elizabeth is now by herself with the sneaks, she runs into Brooke Dennis, some gal whose father is a famous Hollywood screenwriter. Elizabeth tells  Brooke that Kent Kellerman is supposedly at the mall, and Brooke says no the gals are just screaming over  a poster. They will not be filming scenes for ” All the World” until Monday, and that is when Kent will be at the mall. Brooke says she doesn’t tell too many people that her father works with Kent, or else everyone would be asking to meet him. Brooke also says she has nothing to do after school, so Elizabeth suggests that Brooke can write an article for the Sweet Valley Sixers. Oh, joy.

So you know how Brooke says she doesn’t really want people knowing that her dad works with Kent Kellerman? Liz tells Jessica this tidbit! Good move, Liz. Saturday morning, Jessica calls Lila and tells her that Brooke knows Kent Kellerman. Jessica tells Lila she bets Brooke will introduce them to Kent Kellerman if they offer her a spot on the Booster squad. Oh yeah I am sure Brooke would just love being on the squad. Lila says ” do we have to actually put her on the squad? I don’t think she’s really Booster material” ( love ya, Lila! But seriously you have ” drippy Amy Sutton” on the squad!) and Jessica says no they just have to make Brooke think that she has a chance.  After Jess and Elizabeth play some basketball with Steven, and Steven marvels at what a great basketball player Jessica is, Liz says she better leave because she has to meet Julie and Brooke at Julie’s house to discuss the article Brooke is writing for the paper. Jessica is all ” holy shit” because she wanted to get Brooke to join the Boosters.  Jessica rushes out the door, and finds Brooke on the way to Julie’s and says that Elizabeth actually can’t make it, and Jessica then asks if Brooke wants to join Jessica and Lila at the Dairi Burger.  Meanwhile, Elizabeth and Julie sit waiting for Brooke for an hour and then say ” fuck it” and head off to- THE DAIRI BURGER!!!!

Jessica and Lila discuss the possibility of Brooke trying out for the Boosters. Brooke says she did promise Liz she’d join the paper,and she is not sure she has time for both ( shit, Amy  Sutton does both!) and Jessica and Lila tell her how fun the Boosters is and stupid Brooke is all ” yeah I could just write an article another time”. Liz and Julie run into Lila, Jess and Brooke at the DB and Liz is pissed, knowing that Jessica is only using Brooke to meet Kent. And then Jessica subtly asks if anyone has heart that Kent is coming to Sweet Valley.  Jessica is all ” oh if only we knew someone who knew him, so we could get passes to the show” and stupid Brooke falls for it and says she will get passes for Lila and Jessica. This Brooke is a right old moron.

At school on Monday, Jessica meets the new ( pre Unicorn and period) Billie Layton aka the new member of the basketball team. Lila and Jess snicker over Billie’s new clothes. Brooke then runs into Li and Jess, and she says she has the passes but there is a big problem- the crew leaves the mall and goes to another location at 2 pm, so Kent and crew will only be at the mall during school hours!!! Then why bother getting the passes, Brooke?  Lila and Jessica have no clue what they are going to do- until Caroline Pearce announces that Ms Langberg, the gym teacher, will be on jury duty all week and therefore not in school! Lila and Jessica figure that they could run over to Valley Mall during gym to see Kent, and come back in time for the next class.  And what about the subsitute calling roll? Ellen Riteman has a friend who will just say both Jess and Lila’s names- and the sub is so dumb she wouldn’t ever look up during roll ( as a former subsitute teacher myself,  I sure did) and wouldn’t realize that one voice said 2 different names? So Jess and Lila will leave at lunchtime and stay at the mall through gym so that they can meet KENT KELLERMAN- he must be the Zac Efron of Sweet Valley!

Elizabeth is all bummed at lunch because Jessica and Lila are playing hooky to see Kent. Eh, to me it’s gym class so what if they skip?  Amy tells Elizabeth it’s not really her problem if Lila and Jess get caught and get in trouble. Amy then says Caroline is losing it because she told everyone Ms Langberg will be missing class all week for jury duty, and in reality Ms Langberg was called for one day and then dismissed- so yeah Ms Langberg IS in school today! Diarrhea for brains Liz decides she must rush to the mall to tell Jess and Lila to come back to school or they will get in trouble- Liz, this means you are skipping class too!!  But of course Liz is doing it to save her sister from getting in trouble.

Jessica and Lila are at the mall, drooling over Kent. Liz rushes over to tell them to come back to school RIGHT NOW as Langberg is totally at school!! ( it takes Liz awhile to find Jess and Li, of course) As the three girls go running out of the mall to get back to class in time, Elizabeth sees Mrs Knight, the principal’s secretary! OK what the FUCK was she doing at Valley Mall- not working that’s for sure! Mrs Knight then sees Lila, and she must figure that since Lila and Jess are friends, she she thinks Liz is Jessica, and rushes off to tell Mr. Clark, the principal, right away that Jessica and Lila were playing hooky!

For skipping one class, Mr. Clark gives Lila and Jessica a punishment of staying after school every day for a week to wash all of the blackboards, he is calling both of their parents, and no school activities for a week- which means no Boosters and no basketball- and the basketball championship game is coming up!! What will Jessica do?? That means letting down her team as she’s the best player!!! And ummmm don’t ya think Mr Clark’s punishment was rather harsh? But not to worry- Jessica has a scheme up her sleeve- and Jessica says that she will not tell Mr Clark that Elizabeth cheated IF Elizabeth takes over the washing of the blackboards for a week so that Jessica can go to basketball practice all week and lead SVMS to victory!! Basically, if Jessica does not play the team will lose- yeah your team is not that good if one player makes the difference between winning and not winning. And naturally Liz, again having diarrhea for brains, agrees to this stunt.

No one at school is talking to Jess because she played hooky and now she can’t play in the basketball game, so Sweet Valley will lose. It’s MIDDLE SCHOOL basketball honestly why are they so effin invested? It’s not like I cared if the freshman football team lost games in high school, know what I mean? After school, Elizabeth and Jessica change so that Jessica can go to basketball practice. As Liz heads off to wash blackboards, she remembers- today is the day she has to interview Kate DiNardo- Kate is this big time ballet star who Madame Andre used to teach.  Elizabeth realizes there’s only 15 minutes left until she can meet Ms DiNardo, and tries to rush off to the dance studio, but Mr Clark sees a purple ribbon in Liz’s hair, thinks she is Jessica, and tells her she’s not going anywhere because she has blackboards to wash!  Elizabeth and Lila then see Mr Bowman, the newspaper advisor, in the hall. He asks them ( he also thinks it’s Jess, remember) where Elizabeth is because she had to interview Ms DiNardo after school, and she never made it to the dance studio. Lila says Liz is at basketball practice, and she must have forgot about the interview.  Mr Bowman rushes off to the gym, telling Jessica ( as Liz) about the missed interview, and that Jessica has to leave now to get to Ms DiNardo’s hotel by 4. Jessica is all holy shit and doesn’t know what she can do. Jess then sees Brooke in the hall, and tells Brooke to be at the dance studio for 4 pm to interview Ms DiNardo! Of course, Bowman said that Ms DiNardo would be at the hotel, but Jessica couldn’t remember that part.  At home, Jess tells Liz about how she ran into Brooke and got Brooke to interview Kate DiNardo, and also that Brooke invited Liz over for dinner on Thursday.  Liz is all happy that Jessica found Brooke in time to do the interview! And Brooke also decides not to join the Boosters because writing the article as a favor to Liz was more important than tryouts. Whatevs.

At school the next morning, Brooke apologizes to Liz over and over, saying that she couldn’t interview Kate because she was not at the dance studio when Brooke got there. Brooke has no idea how this could have happened. Mr Bowman tells Brooke and Liz they have to find someone else to interview by Friday- but who???? They try asking both Julie Porter’s dad, a famous music conductor, Nora Mercandy’s magician grandpa, or Dyan Sutton, famous newcaster. Well Julie’s pa and Dyan are both out of town, and Mr Mercandy doesn’t feel well. And Brooke’s dad is away until Friday night but I guess he’s having over random folks for dinner that he can’t entertain anyway. But that night, Brooke calls Liz with awesome news- Kent Kellerman will be the dinner and he agreed to be interviewed! Wow, Kent Kellerman is a big deal movie star who could get interviews with People or Us Magazine, but he talks to some middle school kids for their newspaper instead? OK… Jessica begs her parents to allow her to go to Brooke’s too, but Mr and Mrs Wakefield say no way because Jess is grounded for skipping class- shit guys it was one class and it was gym!!! SHEESH! Gym SUCKS!

The next day is the day of the big game. Jessica has to hear Liz brag about Kent, and worse, Jess is not even in the starting lineup because Billie Layton is instead as she’s the 2nd best player after Jess. Well, when Jess is finally allowed to play for the team, of course Jessica wins the game for the team- but then ELIZABETH ( hey, they all think it’s Liz) is voted Most Valuable Player. Kind of a hah hah moment to me.

The next day, Liz suddenly allows her conscience to get the best of her, and she confesses to Ma and Daddy Wakefield that she too also skipped class to save Jess’s rear.  She also confesses to Mr Clark- who only gives Liz the week of blackboard washing- SHE can still do after school activities. But then Liz tells Jessica that she will be the one doing the punishment for Liz, as it’s only fair, right?? So at the end Jessica will be washing blackboards for a week, to make up for week where Liz and Lila were stuck doing it. And that’s the end.


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