Important Lessons from Wakefield Land…

Two posts in 2 days- hey, I have had a boring week so far, therefore I have more time to devote to this here blog.  Today’s post is about the remarkably shitty book called ” Deadly Terror- The Return of William White, Part II.” Keep in mind that I have never read ” William White Classic”, aka the first William White book, because the lot of Sweet Valley High and U books that my sister obtained did not contain the first book in this diarrhea filled series. But long story short- in the first book, Elizabeth is dating the most gorgeous man ever aka William White.  Elizabeth ends up exposing William as the head of a secret racist society, and in return William stalks Elizabeth, sends her threatening letters, and tries to kill her. A gem of a guy, I say. Elizabeth thinks that William fell to his death off a cliff- but AH HA- William survived that tumble, but he was severely burned on one side of his face- very much like the Phantom of the Opera? Was the ghostwriter trying to write a white dog poop version of the Phantom through an SVU thriller? I am not certain.  Well, anyhoo, Elizabeth meets up with William again, and she is convinced that he has changed because now he is a burn victim and is so goddamn vulnerable and sexy- so what he tried killing Liz and a bunch of her friends, and is a racist psycho? William has CHANGED- he is getting intense therapy- and Elizabeth falls in love with William all over again. Meanwhile, Elizabeth and Tom Watts are having a rough patch as usual, and Elizabeth ends up breaking up with Tom to get with William- because Elizabeth is a fickle ho even though she pretends not to be.

Ladies- here is an important lesson- if a man has stalked you, tried to murder you,and  is an asshole racist- NEVER TRUST HIM AGAIN! He has NOT CHANGED I don’t care  how much fuckin therapy he has had!! Yes, fine, I am a social worker and I do believe people can change- but it doesn’t mean I will date a murderous stalker sorry!!!! My empathy only goes so far.

So guess where this is leading? The psychiatrist William is getting intense therapy from? William bumped him off and buried him in some secret area of the library. The book’s climax involved Elizabeth and William having a sexy picnic in William’s home in the library, Elizabeth smells death and that is when William shows her that he killed Dr. Denby aka William’s therapist.  Then William announces that first he will scar Lizzie’s gorgeous face ( the thought fills her with terror, as Liz is just as vain as Jessica and we know it) and then William will slit her throat after he scars Liz for life. Uh, Willie babe, it’d be more psycho and cool to let Saint Elizabeth live with scars all over her face- I bet Lois Waller and Robin Wilson would LOVE seeing  a scarred up Elizabeth!  Elizabeth manages to escape the library through some secret passageway, the library catches fire and William is trapped in the library and one hopes he is dead this time- seriously, there isn’t a third part to this shit-fest is there?

Plot B of this book involves Jessica going to some movie premiere.  She wants to wear a gorgeous piece of jewelry but can’t really afford what she wants. Jessica gets Elizabeth to accompany her to some unique jewelry store that sounds like it specializes in fug jewelry as described here-  antique cultured pearls with a big diamond star as the clasp- I guess the pearls sound OK but I am not feelin’ the star. And the way the  jewelry store owner is described makes him sound like he’s bald and oily. Well, Jess gets the necklace somehow, and then she loses it- well William actually took it so he could find the necklace later and look like a hero.

And one more thing to snark on before finishing this here post- why wasn’t dear William in jail, and why didn’t the cops tell Elizabeth that William was out? Apparently dear Doc Denby told everyone he’d take custody of William and make sure he’d be a good boy instead of just keeping William in the local loony bin. And the police didn’t notify Liz because they saw no reason to worry her- WHAT????? You have to adore the Sweet Valley police that is all I can say. With all of the murderers, vampires, rapists and evil twins lurking around Sweet Valley, why are these cops so inept? Well I guess I answered my own question in that last sentence- all of the criminals must know to go to Sweet Valley because no police officers believe the Wakefields when they say shit is going down, and if  a Wakefield is being stalked-oh well!

And oh yeah I did forget something else- how come all of these dudes, like ol’ Nick Des Perdu and William, get soooo obsessed and sexually aroused by boring tightwad Elizabeth? I could see a man stalking Jessica, as I bet Jessica gives great blow jobs just to keep her hymen intact- but Elizabeth?? She is SOOOOO boring- what makes her stalkable?????

So ends a rather short but to the point recap of this William White book. SVU thrillers are so truly outlandish yet addicting it’s so sad!

I did want to give you loyal fans a preview of the Baby Sitter’s Club books I will be recapping, in case you wanted to either read along or get really excited- Claudia’s Friend, The Truth About Stacey,  Mary Anne Misses Logan, and Dawn on the Coast are all coming up ( hopefully all will be recapped by year’s end). I also do have another Sweet Valley High book to recap called ” Hard Choices”- it’s about Enid Rollins’ life and that is all I will say. And yes reviews of Gymnasts, Freshman Dorm and Sweet Valley Twins, and possibly even a Baby Sitters Little Sister book or two ( I miss the tales of a former walking highlighter gal blogging on these- she hasn’t posted in forevs- anyone know why?) may be on the horizon as I just ordered a few Little Sister books from Ebay- AND I got a big lot of MORE Sweet Valley High!!!!

But the first BSC book to be recapped WILL be Claudia’s Friend- until then- CIAO!! ADIOS!!!! SAYONARA!!!

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