Baby Sitters #46- Mary Anne Misses Logan

Just to warn all of you dear readers- this book is boring as all get out. It’s just about the most boring BSC book I have ever read. And the whole book is pretty much in the title- ” Mary Anne Misses Logan”- so? No wonder I never read this as a kid!

So let’s begin- Mary Anne misses Logan.  Mary Anne is sitting alone in her room thinking about how she used to date Logan, and he was a ” part” of her ( God Mary Anne you are 13!) and how she’s lonely without Logan blah blah blah BLAH! Mary Anne then describes how Logan was the best thing since sliced bread, until Logan started being all ” take charge and controlling.” Dude, if they were, like, 25, this would be the beginning of a bad Lifetime movie.  Mary Anne then starts to think of a big English assignment that the whole eighth grade has to do- all of the eighth graders will be split into random groups of four and studying an author intensively. Mary Anne is hoping that Cokie Mason will not be in her group as M.A. and Cokie are ” mortal enemies”- do I detect some FORESHADOWING? This boring chapter describing how Mary Anne misses Logan ends with how she wishes she had her friends- or Logan- to talk to. 

Chapter #2- Mary Anne describes all of her friends in the BSC. We find out  that Jessi has chocolate colored skin, Dawn is an ‘ individual” and Claud wears “snap bracelets.” Thrilling.

Chapter #3- Mary Anne is sitting for the Korman kids- Bill, Melody and Skylar. Skylar is the 1 year old who is scared of cats, and frankly Skylar crying and saying ” no tat, no tat” always annoyed the crap out of me, call me a mean non mother I really don’t care.  During the course of this baby sitting job, Bill and Melody say how this house they have now is bigger than their old one, and  the toilet makes some odd noise when it flushes, so they are conviced a monster lives in the toilet- yes, kids, the beginning of the Toilet Monster saga. And these kids are  and 9- a little old to be thinking monsters lived in the toilet, right? That was cute in Look Who’s Talking Too- not cute in this book AT ALL!  Mary Anne makes a note to herself to tell Mr. Korman to call someone to have the toilet fixed due to the sound of the toilet ” growling” and then Melody saying a monster lives in there. God recapping this is excrutiating…

Next chapter- a BSC meeting. Mary Anne describes how the club got started and the jobs all of the club members do. Then Mary Anne tells the others about the toilet monster. Dawn gets the next job sitting for the Korman kids, and Dawn is like ” well I guess I will experience the toilet monster for myself next time.” Yeah, Dawn, a thrill minute that will be.

Mary Anne and the others are talking about the project at lunch the next day. Mary Anne is hoping that her group will get a cool author like Paula Danziger ( GOD I LOVE THE CAT ATE MY GYMSUIT!!) or Judy Blume. Claud wonders if a group will get to study Danielle Steel- hardy har har, Claud!  Then Kristy laughs at the thought of Alan Gray having to study Judy Blume and having to read ” Are you There God it’s Me Margaret” and having to read about bras- and ummm Ann M don’t forget PERIODS! I swear none of the BSC girls have EVER gotten a period- and at age 13, wouldn’t one or two of them have gotten a period by now? 

So after school, Mary Anne goes to look at who will be in her group and what author they get to study. Her group gets to study Megan Rinehart- an author Ann M made up, but who Mary Anne apparently adores.  And who will Mary Anne be working with? Pete Black ( the one who’s tapped most of the BSC members;) , Miranda Shillaber, and LOGAN!!! Mary Anne has to work with LOGAN!! Logan, who she broke up with, and they haven’t talked since! OK, admittedly that would bite.  Mary Anne starts crying as there is a big rule that the kids can’t switch out of the groups they are in, so M.A. is stuck with Logan. And well Mary Anne is known as the big crier in the BSC.  Mary Anne tells Dawn the news and Dawn just says ” You’ll manage”- big help, Dawn!!

Dawn sits for the Korman children, and more Toilet Monster drama ensues. Here is me not giving a shit.

The next day, the groups are all to meet in the cafeteria. Mary Anne and Logan exchange a rather awkward hi.  Mary Anne’s stomach does flip flops. we then learn that Miranda does not like Pete because Pete used to snap her bra in 7th grade. Oh, junior high drama!  Then as the group sits down, Mr. Lehrer, one of the English teachers, is with Cokie Mason- and he asks if Mary Anne’s group is the one that is studying Megan Rinehart and sure enough it is, of course.  Apparently Cokie BEGGED to be switched to this group because Miss Cokie ADORES Megan Rinehart and begged to study her- and apparently the SMS teachers are fuckin dumb because Cokie Mason is a shitty English student, the teachers buy that she has passion for an author, so Mr. Lehrer is so thrilled to hear Cokie having passion ( yeah Mr L for LOGAN not Megan Rinehart!!) for an author that he will allow the switch- and Miranda Shillaber goes to Cokie’s group because she needs to escape Petey Stone. 

Logan then asks how many of the group members have read a Megan Rinehart book. Logan says he’s read almost all of them, and he knows Mary Anne has read all of them- awww. Pete says he’s read none because Meg’s books are for girls, and Logan is all well I have read her books and I am thinking yeah that’s Pete’s point, Logan! 😉 Cokie does not even know how many books Ms. Rinehart has written, or the author’s actual name!  Well, Cokie just wants to flirt with Logan- darn the project. So Mary Anne is more un-thrilled over this project that ever. 

Mary Anne is doing her homework that night, and Dawn tells Mary Anne she heard Grace Blume say that Cokie doesn’t care about any author, not even Megan Rinehart- she just wants to get closer to Logan. DUH, DAWN!  And Dawn says that now that Logan is available Cokie wants her shot- and Mary Anne thinks that Logan is NOT available because Logan is HERS and Mary Anne wishes she could have Logan back.

Next chapter- Mary Anne is off to Cokie’s house to work on the author project.  When Mary Anne and Pete arrive, Cokie is basically all cold, but when Logan arrives Cokie is all ” Oh Logan let me get you a drink” and is all excited that Logan is there.  Mary Anne says that the group can choose three or four of Megan Rinehart’s books and compare and contrast them and Pete says he guesses he could read four books.  Cokie then says she read four wicked little kid books when she was 10- books like The Tale of Benjamin Button- in a week- when she was 10. Wow, Coke, I am sure Logan is mad impressed by that.  Cokie is then upset that Megan Rinehart hasn’t written picture- GOD, I hate saying this, but is Cokie mentally retarded? Is this for real?  The goal is to read four books in 2 weeks- and then after that is agreed upon, Cokie asks Logan to a movie, and Mary Anne rushes off before hearing Logan’s answer. 

Now Claudia is sitting for the Korman kiddies, and there is more goddamn CRAP ( excuse the pun) about the GD TOILET MONSTER- what the fuck, Ann M? Or ghostwriter or whoever? Why the FUCK is this a big plot in the book? Because Logan and the Toilet Monster are both full of shit? UGH!! Oh, and Skylar says ” Towabumpa” instead of ” Cowabunga”- I don’t care. Skylar is not nearly as cool a toddler as Emily Michelle or even Gabbie Perkins- and I am not a huge Gabbie fan!

We then find out that Logan and Cokie have been out SEVERAL times- wow, Logan wants to date a girl who can barely read picture books at age 13? DAMN- and Mary Anne you WANT this boy?? Oh, Mary Anne, Mary Anne, MARY ANNE!  And Cokie is all annoucing that she and Logan are dating to the entire school- God, Logan is that much of a hottie that you’d brag over that Cokie? OK…. 

At the next meeting, we learn that Mary Anne and Pete have done all of the reading. Cokie claims she had and says the ” funny one is soo funny” and then Mary Anne OWNS Cokie’s ass by saying the title of a book Megan Rinehart never wrote and Cokie is all ” yeah yeah that was great”. HEE HEE 😉  As soon as Logan comes over, Cokie puts her head on Logan’s shoulder and talks about how they have gone to all of these movies and concerts and middle school sporting events together- and shit who drives them to all this crap? Although since Logan manages to have a job at the Rosebud Cafe, I bet somehow he’s a legal driver at age 13 as well. Leave it to Ann M !  And well uh  yeah Logan hasn’t done the reading he is supposed to either.  So Pete and Mary Anne are like, doing all the work- sucky for them.

Pete and Mary Anne start researching Megan Rinehart’s life- by themselves of course as Logan and Cokie don’t want to do shit, apparently. Pete then tells Mary Anne that there’s no point in really meeting with Cokie and Logan anymore, as neither one is doing any of the work involved in the project- or maybe Pete is really trying to saying that he wants to tap Mary Anne’s ass the way he did Dawn’s, Claud’s and Stacey’s LOL I am gross I know.  Mary Anne reluctantly agrees that they shouldn’t meet with the others anymore. Then is there an assembly at school where the principal announces that three of the authors being studied are coming to Stoneybrook Middle School that Friday, and the groups who studied those three authors get to do an oral presentation in front of the school- AND the author.  And one of the authors is Megan Rinehart.  Pete assigns each of the four kids a section they can present at the author day, and Mary Anne tells Pete she is worried that Cokie and Logan will screw up the project- and Pete says that he and Mary Anne will each do a good job, and let the chips fall where they may with Logan and Cokie.  But Mary Anne thinks that she loves Logan and doesn’t want him to feel hurt or embarrassed in front of the school.  

Next chapter, Mary Anne says how she misses the relationship she and Logan used to have, but she is not happy about how Logan is going out with Cokie places.  Then- Logan calls!  Logan says he wants to work with Mary Anne on the project, and Mary Anne says she is not going to do the project for Logan ( GO M.A!!) and Logan says Mary Anne doesn’t have to do the project for him because he did the work and Mary Anne says it seems impossible because of all that time he is spending with Cokie, and Logan ( snottily, it seems) is all ” oh I finished the work-barely.”  Logan says he just wants to make sure the group is on the same page, and Mary Anne agrees that Logan can come over later on tonight. 

That night, Logan claims he went out with Cokie because he missed having Mary Anne around and he liked that Cokie liked to go out, but it was too much and his grades started to slip.  And he says he misses Mary Anne!  And the next day- time to meet Megan Rinehart! 

Chapter 13 is about how Kristy is convinced she solved the Toilet Monster problem. If you want to know more about it, read the book- I am NOT going to cover this chapter because you all know I HATED this plot- sorry ya all!

So it’s Author Day, and Mary Anne’s group goes up to do the presentation. Logan, Petey and Mary Anne all kick ass- and Cokie friggin READS FROM THE BOOK JACKET-WTF????  Then the authors speak,  and then after that the kids get to meet Megan Rinehart and she gives them all a signed copy of the book and tells Mary Anne she did a great job- woooo.  Logan then asks Mary Anne out to dinner.  Mary Anne and Logan go to dinner at a lovely Italian restaurant ( umm they are 13- wouldn’t they go to Friendly’s at this age?)  and Mary Anne wears a long blue top and red tights- just tights under the top- and Mary Anne did say her dad objected to the outfit but then she pointed out that it covered more than a bathing suit- but that isn’t my issue. My issue is that TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!!! NO MARYANNE!!!  Mary Anne and Logan say they miss each other about 100 times, and Mary Anne actually tells Logan about the toilet monster and he finds it hilarious.  And Logan calls the next day, and Mary Anne says she is going to the mall with Dawn and Claudia, and the old Logan would have made Mary Anne cancel her plans to be with him, but new Logan is cool with Mary Anne going to the mall- what a trip. And this piece o crap ends!!!

I have resolved to try to do at least a pst a week on this blog this year, and I do hope I can reach that goal- a post a week shouldn’t be too much to ask. Now last week there was no post as I was on a special trip to Vegas for Di’s birthday but this week I did come through!! And while I was in Vegas, my Fabulous Five books came- so now I have a few of those I have to review!! But- my next book that I will be snarking on- and heavily- is a Little Sister book called ” Karen’s Worst Day” and after that as promised is ” Dawn on the Coast” and then ” Hard Choices” which is a Sweet Valley High book. Over the next few weeks, lots of BSC reviews are a comin’, but I also do have a couple of Freshman Dorm books on the horizon, and lots more Sweet Valley Twins will be coming your way as well- and yes seriously as a kid I liked the Twins books better than the ” High” ones!!  And of course please feel free to read along to any of the books reviewed- it’s why I always tell ya all what is coming next- and we LOVE comments! And yes even though I have just turned 31, I do not intend to stop snarking  on YA novels any time soon- and while as I have said I have many Sweet Valley High and BSC books to recap, the original point of this blog was to snark on lesser known YA series such as Freshman Dorm, Fabulous Five, and Girl Talk and more of those books WILL be recapped!!!


4 Responses to “Baby Sitters #46- Mary Anne Misses Logan”

  1. The Toilet Monster must DIE.

    I read the hell out of “The Cat Ate My Gymsuit” back in the day! And I still really like it.

  2. Sarah Jade Says:

    I never got as far as the 40’s in BSC, so unfortunately I missed out on the riveting Toilet Monster storyline. But I still think the most irritating little sh*t would have to be Jamie “Hi-Hi!” Newton.

  3. The Toilet Monster storyline does seem really stupid.

    Even when I read these books when I was younger, I always thought the things the kids said were so stupid. Like that one kid used to say “silly billy goo goo.” ugh! I don’t know if it’s the way it was written or what. I even used to babysit. I guess it was supposed to be cute, but I just thought it was annoying.

  4. Not that I’m impressed a lot, but this is more than I expected when I stumpled upon a link on SU telling that the info here is awesome. Thanks.

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