Little Sister #2- Karen’s Roller Skates

As promised- a recap of the book where Karen breaks her wrist!

Karen is skating at the beginning of the book, and bragging about how she can do all of these things, except, well she really can’t, but she’s only been roller- skating for a few weeks and is already really awesome. Karen’s skates are red and the wheels are yellow.  Karen also mentions that she’s already had a ” couple of little accidents” and she tries to be careful, but she can’t help it because she loves going fast ( and well we also all know that Karen also loves being a defiant brat) . Karen and Andrew are going to spend 3 days with Watson and the ” big house” family this weekend because Mommy and Seth are going to Maine on  vacation. How thrilled are those two to be getting away from Karen from that long? I am surprised Seth wanted to marry Karen’s mom after meeting Karen the fugly brat. 

Chapter #2- the usual blah, boring stuff about Karen being a ” two- two” and living in the ” little house” vs the ” big house” and how of course Kristy is the best big sister in the world.

Elizabeth asks Karen to walk Shannon the dog Saturday morning. Karen decides she will walk the dog whilst on roller skates- well Karen gives Andrew the leash and tells him that Shannon can walk beside Andrew as Andrew rides his trike,  and Karen can skate ahead of them. Oh Karen you suck sooo much ass! STOP IT!  When they arrive home, Karen asks Andrew if he wants to see a really cool trick and Andrew says yes.  Karen gets inspired to do a trick because she was able to jump over a hump on the sidewalk.  Karen grabs two empty coffee cans and says she will jump over them on skates, like she saw a woman do on TV.  Keep in mind for a second that Karen is supposed to be wearing her wrist guards, and she is not.  Andrew asks Karen nervously if she really thinks she should, and because Karen sucks  she decides to do it. As Karen jumps over the cans and lands her feet, she then loses her balance right after that, and puts out her hands to avoid falling, and falls right on ’em- and starts screaming ” ow, ow!”

Karen’s right wrist is bent at a funny angle, and it hurts too much when she tries to move her wrist.  Andrew gets Watson, and Watson and Kristy rush outside and help Karen in.  Elizabeth, Karen’s stepmother of course, calls the doctor and the doctor wants Karen rushed to the ER, and Elizabeth says she and Watson will go, but then Kristy insists that SHE will go with Watson and Karen to the ER instead, and Kristy’s mom gives in of course.

Karen, Kristy and Watson meet Dr. Dallenkamp at the ER, and the Dr says they are waiting for a bone specialist to come and set Karen’s wrist.  Karen has to get X rays first. So Karen and Kristy head for the X Ray room. A man named Tom takes bunches of ” pictures” of Karen’s wrist, and it’s off to see the bone doctor.

Dr. Humphrey aka the ” bone doctor” gives Karen a shot. Then he puts Karen’s hand and fingers in some metal tubes, and per Kristy the tubes ” put the bones back where they belong.”  Then the doc wraps Karen’s arm in cotton, and then wraps bunches of bandages around it.  As that is done, Karen remarks how the cast weighed a ton.  Karen then gets a sling for her arm.

When Karen comes home, she instantly says she is tired and pretty much begins acting like a brat ( or perhaps she is very tired- I have never had a broken bone, to be fair) and Karen is too tired to read her favorite book,  ” The Witch Next Door.”  Karen gets lunch in the den, and at dinner she still wants to be served, so she then wants dinner in there, but then Elizabeth asks if Karen is really that tired, and Karen admits she is not. Then Karen whines at bedtime that she is not sleepy  and Watson tells her to go to bed anyway.

Karen is able to dress herself in the morning with no help.  David Michael asks Karen how she managed to do that when Kristy is still in bed, and Karen declares she can do anything! So Karen fixes herself a piece of toast, and though it takes a lot longer than it would without a broken wrist, she manages to get it done. Incidentally, David Michael looks like some miniature punk rock kid in the photo they show-like his dad is really the lead singer of Anthrax or something- wait, is that why Mr. Thomas left Elizabeth???

Karen then says she could even roller skate if she wanted, and Watson is all ” hell no” telling her she could hurt herself a lot worse if she went roller skating while having a broken bone.  Karen also learns she has to go back to the hospital today.

While Karen, Andrew and Watson wait for Dr Humphrey, Karen and Andrew play hospital. It’s a big ” who cares” chapter.

Dr. Humphrey asks Karen how she broke her wrist, and Karen claims it happened because she jumped over four coffee cans. Oh, Karen and her exaggerations! Andrew tries to interject with the truth, ( I LOVE ANDREW!)  but instead, Karen goes on to say she twirled in the air, saw a caterpillar and to avoid it jumped out of the way and landed on her wrists. Karen then learns she has to wear her cast for 8 weeks- which means no rollerskating for 8 weeks. Oh noes!

Karen runs into a boy in her class named Ricky, who broke his ankle.  Karen tells Ricky an even more elaborate story on how her wrist broke blah blah blah- then Karen sees that Ricky has signatures on his cast already. Ricky broke his ankle one day before Karen’s injury.  Ricky then says his cast will rule all because the baseball player Hubert Gregory ( a friend of Ricky’s pa, apparently) will be signing Ricky’s cast! So now Karen is on a quest to find a famous person to sign her cast.

Karen’s fam signs her cast. Elizabeth even gets Shannon and Boo Boo to put their paw prints on Karen’s cast which is pretty cool. But of course while this is cool, neither Boo Boo nor Shannon is famous.  And Elizabeth knows no famous folk.

Karen goes to see Hannie and Linny Papadakis, and tells an even more elaborate story of how she jumped over 7 coffee cans, and she had to avoid a whole caterpillar family blah blah blah. Hannie and Linny sign Karen’s cast, and Karen asks Mr and Mrs. P if they know anyone famous, and Mrs. Papadakis says she knows the mayor, but he’s away this weekend so that won’t work. Karen does get Myrtle the Turtle’s pawprint out of the deal. Then Karen asks Hannie if she’d like to come along with Karen to get more signatures, and Hannie says sure and then asks where they are headed, and Karen says to Amanda Delaney’s house and Hannie is all ” me and Amanda are worstest enemies” or something to that effect.  Hannie refuses to go and Karen is all ” fine!!”

When Kristy gets to the Delaney home, Shannon Kilbourne ( not  the dog) is baby-sitting for Amanda and her brother, Max.  Karen asks Amanda if Priscilla the kitty could sign Karen’s cast and Amanda says no because she doesn’t want Priscilla’s paw to get dirty. Prissy bitch, that Amanda. Then the Mr Tastee truck is coming,  and Karen tells Mr. Tastee her shitty story, and Andrew finally calls her out on it after Mr. Tastee is doubting Karen’s crap wooooo Andrew! So Karen gets her Fudgesicle, and asks Mr. Tastee for his autograph, and then flips because Mr. Tastee signs the cast ” Roger Jones” and not Mr. Tastee ( which OK I find that lame as well)

As Andrew, David Michael, Karen, Max and Amanda have their ice cream, they see Morbidda Destiny ( ya know the old lady that Karen likes saying is a witch- Gawd Karen stinks- I know I say it a lot- but it’s true)  So Karen decides she wants to get a ” real” witch’s autograph, and wants to make Hannie ( oh yes by ice cream time Hannie rejoined the group) and yeah Hannie and Karen are friends again, but when Karen asks Hannie to go to Morbidda’s home, Hannie freaks.  Karen and Hannie decide to take bunch of lucky charms ( not the cereal- more things like rabbit’s feet and what not) to Mrs. Porter ( aka Morbidda’s) home so that they can feel more secure about getting the autograph.  So Mrs. Porter asks Karen why she wants the autograph, and Karen says ” oh because we are neighbors” and Mrs. Porter writes ” Tabitha Porter” and draws a black cat, which of course Karen freaks about thinking it’s some spell.  Then when Karen shows her fam the cast, Watson is like ” oh nice Mrs. Porter even drew a picture of Midnight” and Midnight is the old woman’s cat! I HATE KAREN! ( sorry it slipped)

Well the day comes for Mommy and Seth to get Karen and Andrew, and Karen goes on and on about her cast and signatures and crap, and Karen’s ma says that she is friends with Amy Morris, the movie star, and Amy happens to be in town!! So Amy can sign Karen’s cast, and Karen is all wetting herself over how she will have a movie star AND a witch’s autograph. And Karen sucks. The End.

Next time, kiddies, you will be treated to another Freshman Dorm recap, followed by a lovely Sweet Valley High recap, and yes right after that- GIRL TALK-  We haven’t recapped a Girl Talk book in a MINUTE, people!


3 Responses to “Little Sister #2- Karen’s Roller Skates”

  1. Ugh, I hate Karen so, so much. Why did I genuinely like her when I was eight? Now I just want to strangle her every time I read about her.

  2. I love your Karen re-caps! You read them so I don’t have to 🙂

    I can’t wait ’till you tackle Benny in the Boxcar Children … I remember being annoyed with him when I was a child.

  3. Mwahahahahaha, Karen, you suck!

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