WOW!

First of all I have to say this- this site now boasts almost 10,000 views!! YES!!! And yes I am doing 2 posts in 2 days- ah I am having a very lazy and sunny weekend, so I decided I am going to work on updating this blog some- especially since I have sooo many books to recap!

Today’s recap- The Fabulous Five #5- The Bragging War. For those of you who have never read the Fabulous Five series- this series was a spin-off, so to speak, of the Against Taffy Sinclair Club series ( which was better, honestly) The girls in the Fabulous Five are Jana Morgan, the unofficia leader and to me the ultimate kick ass kinda chick, and she has been dating Randy Kirwan on and off forever. ( BTW the Fab Five are in 7th grade in this series- and they attend Wakeman Jr High). Next is Beth Barry, the featured gal in this book, she is a loudmouth, a cheerleader, and wants to be an actress.  There is also Katie Shannon, a feminist ( and of course in YA lit feminism is never a good thing) with a single mom and red hair, Christie Winchell who is the smart, boring one, and Melanie Edwards, who was fat in the Against Taffy series but is now slim and trim, and very boy crazy. Taffy Sinclair is in this series, but not that much. In the Against Taffy books, Jana, Katie, Christie, Beth and Mel have a club that is pretty much a club to bitch about and do mean things to Taffy, who is a total bitch ass.  In the Fab Five series, Taffy is hardly mentioned as I said, and I guess she’s gotten nicer, and this series focuses more on all the girls adjusting to junior high, and in the Taffy series Jana was a main focus of the series. So let’s begin the recap!

Beth is staring at her reflection in the mirror, and is upset because her mouth ( they must mean her lips) is so huge, and she will never be a famous actress with that mouth of hers- this is written pre Angelina Jolie, of course- or maybe Beth grew up to be Angelina Jolie 😉 Beth asks her friends at school if they feel her mouth is too large, and Katie says Beth can be real blabbermouth, but everyone usually ignores her, because they know Beth can be dramatic. Beth said she means her actual mouth size, not how much she talks.  Beth asks if her mouth will ruin her acting career.  Melanie says not if she gets roles with a lot of kissing, and all of the gals laugh.  The gals then notice Laura McCall and the rest of the Fantastic Foursome, surrounded by a bunch of other gals. Laura McCall keeps flicking around her blonde braid, like a cat would flick its tail, per Beth’s description. The fantastic foursome consists of Laura, Funny Hawthorne ( her real name is Karen, but the kids call Funny for some reason- and Funny and Jana are friends), Melissa McConnell, who is pretty much a cold bitch, and Tammy Lucero, who is apparently short and excitable.  Laura is telling the other girls that her dad lets her drive the dad’s red Maserati all by herself, and Laura would never get a ticket for doing this crap even though she’s only 13 because apparently Mr. McCall has the police chief and the officers in his back pocket. I call bullshit on that but whatevs.  Beth and the rest of the Fab Five are pissed that Laura is getting tons of attention from other girls, even girls they are friends with, like Alexis and Kim, and they can’t believe how much Laura brags to get attention.

Beth is wondering how to get back at Laura, especially since Beth’s boyfriend Keith asked Beth if she heard about Laura driving the Maserati, and Keith went on and on about this until Beth wanted to barf.  Then- Beth and the other gals see that Alexis and Kim are super excited over something- and what Alexis and Kim are excited over is that Laura is having a big slumber party on Friday night, and Alexis and Kim were invited.  Alexis and Kim say that Laura’s dad will be out of town that night, and the lady that Mr. McCall hires to watch over Laura is old and half deaf and won’t bother the girls, and after Ms Old and Deaf goes to sleep,  all of the girls are going to sneak out of the house and do something super outrageous.  But Alexis and Kim are sworn to secrecy about what the girls will be doing, because if they let the secret out, Laura will un-invite them from the slumber party.  Beth tries to see if any girls would go to a slumber party if she asks, but all of the girls Beth tries to ask say they are going to Laura’s instead- it seems every girl in 7th grade ( I guess this school must be darn small even though it’s supposedly in Bridgeport CT because in my 7th grade class, you’d be talking about 90 or so girls going to a slumber party!)  was invited to Laura’s slumber party on Friday- even Taffy Sinclair!  Beth says that she will just say she’s having her own slumber party and will make it sound so kick ass that the girls will all wish they’d be at Beth’s party instead.

Beth now has to convince her parents to let her have a slumber party on Friday night with the fab five, but knows this will not be easy as she is the third sibling in a group of 5 sibs, and it’s hard to get attention- or to convince the ‘rents to have extra kids over.  So Beth, to get attention, smears theatre makeup all over her face so that it will look like Beth is bleeding all over her face- well the effect is sooooo good that Beth’s mom ends up freaking out.  And for Beth’s troubles, she is grounded for pretending to be wounded and freaking out Mommy Barry- therefore, no slumber party. 

Jana then wonders what to do if other girls in the class do decide to go to Beth’s party instead of Laura’s. Beth says that she will just say that her party will be so great and special that it’s really only for her good friends in the Fab Five- and she will tell these girls what they are missing out on! So Beth corners Whitney Larkin, this girl who skipped 6th grade and is a total nerd- and is dating the boy 7th grade nerd, Curtis Trowbridge.  Beth tells Whitney that at the Fab Five slumber party, the girls are all allowed to invite over one boy for the early party of the evening, and then when the boys leave the girls will be up all night discussing their romantic evening. Whitney says if Curtis can come, she will just tell Laura she can’t go to her place, and Beth says it’s too late because Beth’s parents are planning a special meal, and they needed a full head count by the day before.  Then Beth tells other girls about boys being at Beth’s ” slumber party” and the girls rush to tell the whole 7th grade- and Beth is so proud of herself for outdoing Laura.

At cheerleading practice, it appears that Laura knows that Beth is having a ” slumber party with boys” and therefore Laura messes up the cheers and has to stay after practice to do ten perfect herkies. Yes, Laura and Tammy are on the cheerleading squad with Beth and Melanie.

Next chapter- it’s Friday night. Beth is upstairs with the dog, feeling upset because she can’t have any friends over. Then the doorbell rings, and Beth’s dad says she has company- the company ( and remember the Fab Five and the boys should be canoodling by now, at least as far as Laura would know-right???) and a bunch of girls, led by Laura McCall, are at the door, and Laura looks smug as hell.   Well, it turns out that Laura and the gals had big plans of TP’ing every cute boy’s house- and therefore, they know that boys like Keith Masterson, Beth’s man, are home watching TV and NOT at Beth’s house- poor Beth got BURNED- I remember feeling really bad for her when I first read this book at age 12 or so- yeah 7th grade- and also, this was one of the books I read most in 7th grade- well this one, Boy Crazy Stacy, No More Sleepovers, Patti? and The Outsiders were my FAVORITE books in 7th grade!! I am serious!! Well moving on… Beth gets burned as hell.  And the girls TP Beth’s house, and Beth’s dad says this since Beth’s friends did this, Beth has to clean up all that TP tomorrow morning! AWWWWW 😦

Then Keith calls- and he is PISSED! He tells Beth he thought Beth was grounded all weekend, and Beth said she is grounded. Keith wonders why Laura said Beth was having a party with boys, then.  Beth said Laura made it up and Keith said some of the other girls mentioned it , too. Beth said if Keith doesn’t believe that there’s no party to call Katie, Melanie, Christie or Jana and he will see they are home now- Keith finally says OK OK and is OK with what Beth said.  Then Jana calls, and is ripped because the gals at the party all went to Randy Kirwan’s house and told Randy about this party of Beth’s with dudes,and Randy is ripped. Jana said Beth made all of the Fab Five look bad.  Beth then thinks to herself that since Laura made a fool of her, this is ” all out war.”

Saturday morning- Beth wakes up to find a huge zit!! Oh, remember when DJ from Full House got a zit? Or Kevin Arnold from Wonder Years? Love zit centered sitcom stories! 🙂  Beth puts a band-aid on her face to cover the zit, and instantly Beth’s little sister Alicia, who is 5, wants her own band aid because I guess whenever someone else has a band-aid Alicia wants one. Brian asks Beth if Beth has a band aid on her face from cutting herself shaving ( kinda funny)  Then Beth’s whole family makes a big deal because it’s obvious Beth got a zit, and Beth’s brother Brian and sister Brittany are going on and on about it, and Beth is tired of that shit and runs upstairs. Beth’s mom says she is sorry about how adolescent the family was acting, so to speak, but eh the Barrys are the Pikes of Bridgeport, CT. Beth’s Ma says she will get some zit cream for the zit and it should be gone by Monday. Beth is all freaking out because today is a big game that Beth has to cheer for, and how does she cheer with a huge pimple?

Keith comes over to see Beth while she is raking leaves.Beth freaks because Keith just can’t see her with a zit. So Beth says she is going to go make hot cocoa for her and Keith, but what she really is trying to do is find makeup of Brittany’s ( Brittany is 16) to cover the pimple with. Well, Beth is looking and looking, and can’t locate the foundation, so Beth gets desperate and decides to make bruises with her theatre makeup. Beth then tells Keith that she got bruises from Agatha the dog knocking her against a wall.  Keith asks Beth if she can cheer with those bruises on her face and then Beth is all shit oh noes because one cannot miss cheerleading unless you have a life or death excuse, and if she washes off the bruises Keith will think she is lying again- so what can Beth do?  Beth decides ( after finally locating it) to cover the bruises with foundation, and is amazed at her great makeup skills- so the foundation makeup is covering the ” bruises.” 

When Beth gets to the game, Melanie tells Beth that Alexis told her that Laura is considering opening her clique ( and sorry to interrupt- but I fuckin that cliques at Wakeman Jr High have NAMES- I know middle school has cliques but for the clique to name themselves? LAME  AS HELL- and I blame author Betsy Haynes for this of course) and they even are coming up with new names like the Sensational Seven and the Naughty Nine, and most of the 7th grade girls are clamoring for a place in Laura’s clique, apparently. Mel also tells Beth ( and this seems sorta mean for Melanie to repeat) that everyone is tired of Beth’s extralarge mouth and her lying,and Beth is the laughingstock of Wakeman Jr High. Beth says to Melanie she will show these girls the true Laura McCall!!

Laura then comes over to the squad, and says her father is friends with the manager of this wacky British teen rock band called Brain Damage, and Laura’s dad can get front row seats for Laura and all of her friends, so now Laura is lookin’ really cool because Brain Damage is to Wakeman Jr High as Johnny Buck is to Sweet Valley.  Beth and Melanie are really in despair now- if Laura makes that happen, the Fab Five won’t have any friends left besides each other! Well, then, the squad is cheering, Beth is perspiring, and then Mandy McDermott yells out a scream! All of Beth’s makeup is smearing down her face and must look nasty.  Everyone thinks Beth is bleeding, but Beth says cheering made her all hot and sweaty, and she asks for an ice pack.  As Beth has the ice on her face, she all of a sudden gets a great idea for how to outdo Laura getting tix to Brain Damage!

So Beth reads an article about Brain Damage, and finds out two things- that the band’s lead singer is Trevor Morgan, and Trevor feels that Americans could stand to treat the native American indians and homeless folks a lot better. Then Beth calls this gal Dekeisha ( who, um, seems to be the only black girl in a school in Bridgeport, CT? Umm GOTTA call bullshit on that!! COME ON!! And Tammy Lucero MAY be Latina with that last name but that is never said- and again no Bridgeport school would have this many white kids I am sorry!!) and tells Dekeisha that Beth knows someone who is RELATED to Trevor Morgan- in fact, Beth tells Dekeisha that Jana Morgan is a distant cousin of Trevor’s!! OH NOES!!

Jana is pissed at Beth the next day saying she is NOT at all related to Trevor, and she hates to having to lie to make Beth look good, and what if kids find out? Beth says they won’t because Brian Damage is only in town for one night. And well the day goes swimmingly, but that night Laura McCall goes up to the Fab Five whilst everyone is at Bumpers ( the Fitzie’s/ Dairi Burger of the Wacko Jr High set- yep the kids call the school Wacko) and tells Jana that she should ask Trevor Morgan to come by Bumpers after school Friday to sign autographs.  Jana is kinda trying to get out of that, and Beth says ” I bet Trevor will come here to sign autographs for everyone” – God Beth shut up!! 

Beth is now feeling shitty over lying all the time just to outdo the Fantastic Foursome, and at dinner that night Beth barely says a word, and her fam is super concerned as that’s not like Beth at all. And Beth marvels at how the way she got attention is by barely talking!

Well- what Beth decides to do for the Fab Five to save face- Beth borrows a Wakeman Warrior Indian costume, and goes to the hotel where Trevor Morgan is staying- by calling around, Beth somehow manages to find out where Brain Damage is staying.  As Beth gets off the elevator, Trevor is standing RIGHT THERE and sees Beth in her costume!  Trevor actually falls for Beth being a Cherokee Indian, lets her into his hotel room ( man, Trevor is DUMB AS FUCK) and Beth asks Trevor to go to Bumpers but Trevor says he can’t possibly make it but he has another idea!!  And guess what Trevor does? He invites the Fab Five ON STAGE to sing with the band, and thanks Beth personally!!  Then backstage, Beth tells Trevor she put on that Indian costume to fool him, but Trevor is cool with that!! He just tells Beth to learn about the plight of REAL Native Americans! So yep Beth and her crew totes beat Laura in the end, which 12 year old me found super cool- and wow I am amazed that 13 year old girls got to go to rock concerts unchaperoned but whatevs- it is a YA novel after all where 13 year old girls act like they are 25.

So in the last chapter, the girls all make Beth promise to never tell wild stories to make her friends look back again, and Beth says she will not. And Beth then says she’s read a lot about the plight of Native Americans, and wants to tell the others all about it.

So I hope you appreciate that I posted twice in one weekend- it’s a lot of work!

Next week I will be recapping the Gymnasts 2- First Meet. After that, I will be recapping Elizabeth Gail and the Frightened Runaways, followed by Sweet Valley Twins Jessica the Thief ( a FANTASTIC book – but I read it only once b/c I was 14 at the time and was pretty much only sporadically reading SVT by that time), BSC #14 Hello, Mallory, Freshman Obsession, and Sleepover Friends #20 Lauren in the Middle- and dude what happened to Zanne’s Sleepover Friends blog? I loved that blog!! I would also love to again announce that Dibbly Fresh is a great new blog that I found, and I also love Chick Manifesto and the Lifetime, Wow blog!

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One Response to “WOW!”

  1. Ohh I totally remember this one and the whole thing about the zit. These books are so hilarious in retrospect.

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