Sweet Valley Twins #67-Jessica the Thief

A Plot:  Elizabeth can’t find her sweater, and it turns out that Jessica ” borrowed” Elizabeth’s sweater without asking. I never really get why Jessica always wants to wear Lizzie’s clothes if Elizabeth is so conservative and Jessica is so trendy. Well, there is a new girl named Veronica Brooks who lives in a huge home in Lila’s neighborhood, and Veronica has been very cozy with the Unicorns as of late.  Elizabeth doesn’t really trust Veronica because Veronica tried to split Liz and Todd up.  Lila just got a new Watchman, which I guess is a very small television- is it a TV on a watch? Or a portable TV? Not really sure. But Jessica really starts to covet Lila’s Watchman and Mandy Miller ( I always want to call Mandy Miller ” Mandy Moore) and Lila both say how Jessica is not exactly Miss Reliable, and Lila tells Jessica she should not plan on borrowing Lila’s Watchman, since Jessica never returned Lila’s banana lip gloss. Well, that was actually Ellen who borrowed Lila’s gloss, but she can’t remember what she did with it. 

Ellen has on cool earrings from Mexico, big hoops, and she takes off the earrings at lunch because they are too heavy. The girls run off to get dessert and Veronica and Jessica get to the dessert line last. Then, Ellen sees that the earrings her mom got her are GONE!!

Well, soon more things start missing- someone has taken Janet Howell’s hairbrush at Booster practice ( which btw Veronica was there to watch her boyfriend Bruce Patman at basketball practice) and Janet has to use that brush because of her sensitive scalp.  Lila’s ” Teenage” magazine is also missing from the locker room!!  Mandy’s big felt hat also ends up missing- and Jessica had been admiring that hat. In the meantime, Elizabeth is trying to come up with clues as to who the ” Sweet Valley Swiper” could be, because Elizabeth has been reading too many Amanda Howard novels.  Also, Veronica tells Mandy she has such a great sense of style- Veronica had told Jessica the same thing just yesterday! But both girls really are stylish in their own ways don’t you worry- Mandy can buy the best clothes at vintage shops, and Jess is more trendy.  Then- Mandy’s hat is missing!!!!!  Veronica feels bad for Mandy and tells her that she can have Veronica’s beautiful velvet baseball cap so that Mandy won’t be caught with ” hat hair.”  The next day, Ellen’s awesome vanilla spray on deoderant is missing- and everyone notes that Jessica is always borrowing that deoderant.  Mandy says that these thefts should be reported to Mr. Clark, but Veronica says he can’t do anything- ummm he can discipline the person who ends up being the thief!! HELLO! 

Veronica gets robbed next- her notebook with Jake Sommers on it ( he’s the star of the Unicorns’ favorite soap, Days of Turmoil) is missing from her locker!  Everyone notices that only Unicorns ( not counting Veronica, but she’s almost a Unicorn according to the club) haven been getting robbed.  The girls do end up telling Mr. Clark.

The next day, Lila is caught watching TV on her watchman because Jessica was making a big deal out of seeing Jake Sommers on some morning talk show. Mr. Davis ( remember he’s the horrid homeroom teacher from “Boys Against Girls?” ) says he will keep the Watchman in his desk until class is over. But when Mr. Davis goe s to retrieve the Watchman for Lila- IT’S GONE!! ( Now I am thinking of that ep of ” South Park” – and…. IT’S GONE!!) 

After class, Liz and Jessica are at their lockers, and Lila comes barreling toward Elizabeth, looking pissed and carrying a piece of paper.   Lila says Jess stole her Watchman and she knows it!! Jessica denies it, Lila makes Jessica open her locker- AND THERE IS THE WATCHMAN!! Mrs. Arnette then takes Jess to the principal’s office.  OH NOES!  Elizabeth knows Jessica didn’t take those items she is accused of taking, but Elizabeth doesn’t know how to explain that Jess’s locker had the Watchman because no one but Jess has Jessica’s locker combo- not even Elizabeth.

Elizabeth and Amy start trying to gather clues as to who the Sweet Valley Swiper is. They know it’s a girl- no shit Sherlocks why would a boy be undetected in a girl’s locker room- or steal vanilla deo???  Elizabeth also notes that Jessica admired all of the items that were stolen and all of the victims were friends of Jessica’s.  Elizabeth and Amy go through garbage to find the note Lila was carrying in her hands.  Well, they don’t find the note, but then Elizabeth starts to think that she knows who the Swiper is- but she needs to get a plan together to figure out how to get the Swiper to confess. So basically, Jessica pretends to be sick so she can stay home from school, and Elizabeth dresses as Jess and trots off to school. 

When Elizabeth is at school, she goes to Veronica after homeroom and tells Veronica she is glad that Mandy is still on her side even though the other Unicorns are against her ( remember Liz is posing as Jessica) and then says if Mandy’s heart shaped rhinestone pin went missing, Mandy would be devestated. Why do I think Claud Kishi would wear a pin like that? 

Sure enough, Mandy comes running up to Jess, pissy, saying her pin is missing and where the fuck is it? Elizabeth and Amy try to say that Elizabeth is not Jessica, and they even call Jess at home and Mandy asks a question ( the first name of Jake Sommers’ new fiancee) and Jessica at home knows the answer, but Mandy and Lila still aren’t convinced- especially after Jess gives Liz the locker combo and the pin is in Jessica’s locker!!  Mandy asks how that can be, and Elizabeth explains how she told Veronica Mandy would be very upset if her pin went missing. So Mandy pretends to start yelling at ” Jess” in front of Veronica and says ” you knew what it meant to me” and Veronica is all ” yeah Jessica you knew what the pin meant to Mandy” and Liz asks Veronica how she knows Mandy’s pin is missing and Veronica tries saying Janet told her but Mandy says Janet didn’t know the pin was missing.  In the meantime, Amy gets Mr. Clark over to the locker,  and Mr. Clark asks to see Veronica’s locker- where Mandy’s jean jacket and felt hat are found!!!  So yep kids, VERONICA BROOKS WAS THE THIEF!!!! And she was trying to frame Jessica!! Oh and Veronica had Jess’s locker combo because Veronica borrowed Jessica’s math book awhile back, and Jess’s locker combo was written in there for some shit ass reason.

Plot B:

Steven and Joe Howell ( yes Jan’s bro) are staking a test on the back of a magazine- an IQ test. Steven gets his results in the mail and though words are spelled wrong, that doesn’t matter to Steve- the test says that Steven is  a certified GENIUS!!  Then Steven starts doing obnoxious things like listening to Wagner, watching documentaries with Joe ( well making Joe watch) about the mating habits of porcupines, and he watches a show called Q and A and gets all the answers right! Jessica and Liz do wonder how Steven is starting to know all this, but then Elizabeth’s snooping turns up a video of an old ep of Q and A and CD’s from the library of Wagner. Well, to end this shit plot that no one cares about, turns out that Steven knew that Joe sent bogus results of the IQ test since all those words were spelled wrong.  So Steven decides to get back at Joe by acting like an obnoxious genius so that Joe would confess to his prank, and Joe does in the end. 

The end of the book talks about the marriage project that all of SV Middle School will be doing- all of the kids will pretend to be married to each other and yes I will be recapping that book- that book is great fun let me tell you.

Next week- I am at least recapping ” Hello, Mallory.” The week after- I will be on vacay in Chicago so most likely I will not be doing any posts that week. Though if I get time next week, I may also recap ” Lauren in the Middle” a Sleepover Friends book.  And in the month of June expect recaps of: 

Freshman Dorm 24 Freshman Obsession

Girl Talk 8 Stealing the Show

SVU Thriller The Roommate

Sleepover Friends 9 – No More Sleepovers, Patti? and I have time in June, I may also recap an SVU Thriller called Love and Murder which was very shiteous for a book revolving around a Lila romance. But that will be a book recapped during July if not June. And for July:

Maybe Love and Murder- definitely Sweet Valley Twins 65 Patty’s Last Dance, Freshman Dorm 13 Freshman Flames, and Kristy’s Great Idea!!! And if I have time in July- I am also recapping Stacey’s Emergency BSC #43! think of the fun ass summer you will have at Fitzie’s Soda Shoppe- if I could, dear readers, I’d offer you root beer floats and peanut butter choco chip cookies as well! So please stay tuned- and if you have friends interested in great YA novel recaps- have them read my blog!!

And in case you haven’t noticed, Dibbly Fresh, Racialicious.com ( it’s not about YA novels but it’s a great blog) and The Chick Manifesto have all been added to the blogroll!!


2 Responses to “Sweet Valley Twins #67-Jessica the Thief”

  1. Steve kills my soul.

    • girltalkread Says:

      See I actually liked Steve in the SVT books- but in Sweet Valley High and U he was TERRIBLE AND AWFUL!!!!!! Enough with Tricia Martin already, Steve!! But yeah in Sweet Valley Twins he could be funny at times.

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