Hello, Mallory!!!!

My God I am soooo excited for this recap. One hopes I do a good job!!

Mallory is whining about having freckles, curly hair and glasses. God knows I also hated having curly hair, glasses ( and braces!) in sixth grade. But since I had an olive skin tone ( and still do) I never had freckles.  Mallory is also whining over how she can’t wear contacts until she is 15, and can’t get her ears pierced until she is 13. Oh remember when Stephanie Tanner on FH couldn’t pierce her ears until jr high so she just went ahead and had them pierced without Danny knowing- remember she had KIMMIE pierce her ears! But I digress. Mallory is also mucho excited, though, because these sophisticated older girls ( aka the other BSC members) want Mal to join the Baby Sitters Club because Stacey has moved to New York.

Mallory has to babysit for Nicky and Claire because Mrs. Pike is taking Vanessa and Margo shoe shopping, and Mr. Pike is taking the triplets to the barber.  Once Mr. Pike returns home,  Buddy Barrett turns around to see the triplets’ new haircuts because the triplets are calling each other nerds after getting their hair cut. Buddy, by the way, came over to play volleyball with Nicky. Well, Nicky is volleying to Buddy and Buddy isn’t really paying attention, so Nicky doesn’t expect Buddy to volley back, but he does and Nicky gets his finger hurt by the volleyball. So Mrs. Pike is just coming home, rushes to take Nicky to the ER and tells Mal she’s in charge of the rest of the siblings and Mallory is very proud of herself that she is able to watch her siblings alone for two hours, and can’t wait until the other girls hear!

On Monday, Mallory wonders what one wears to a baby sitters club meeting with grown up 13 year olds. Mallory is agonizing over her outfit, and wants to look mature and sophisticated. Well, for her sophisticated outfit, Mal chooses THIS kindergarten fuglary-  a red jumper that says Mallory across the front,  a short sleeved white blouse, and white tights with red hearts all over them!! Come on that is kindergarten school picture- NOT for an 11 year old who fancies herself to be soooo mature!  Well, when Mallory gets to homeroom, she notices a new face in the class. The new girl has long legs, looks graceful ( how does one tell someone else has grace when she is sitting down?) and the new girl is-BLACK.  Meanwhile, some girl named Rachel sticks her tongue out when the teacher introduces Jessi Ramsey to the class- yes of course the new black girl in school is Jessi!  Mal also notices that the teacher doesn’t have Jessi introduce herself and say where she is from in front of the class, and when a new white kid came a few months ago, the teacher had the kid do exactly that. Whoa fucked up much?

Mallory sits there wondering what it’s like to be the only black kid in your grade. Mal thinks that she’s the only one in her grade with identical triplet brothers, but then realizes that’s not quite the same. Gee, really?  Mallory also laments over not having a best friend, and hopes Jessi can be her best friend.  At lunch, Mallory sits with some random sixth grade girls, who are freaking out because the new girl is black.  This bitch Anita goes ” oh I bet Jessi came here from Africa hah hah”- dude that attitude in 1988??? Rachel then goes ” oh I bet her real name is Mogobwee or something”. My Lord seriously I come from a rather small town in CT, and there were certainly racist kids, but nothing this overt, OK?  Mallory tries to look for Jessi the rest of the day and can’t find her, but then Mallory realizes it’s soon time for her first BSC meeting!

Kristy writes this snotty ass entry in the BSC notebook that begins the next chapter.   Kristy writes ” Oh Mal you don’t have to dress up for meetings” umm the fuck? Tell her that in PERSON not in the notebook! Kristy also says the first meeting with Mal instead of Stacey is weird. Ugh.  Kristy says they have to basically interview Mal to see how much experience she’s had and what she’d do in a crisis and what not. Mallory mentions how she watched her siblings by herself Saturday because of Nicky’s accident, and Kristy purses her lips and is all ” that accident shouldn’t have happened because you were in charge”- shit accidents totally happen!!! And they have happened to members of the BSC before!!!  Kristy then says Mal is to come back tomorrow for a test, which they must administer due to having unreliable babysitters in the past. Well Dawn joined the BSC after that disastrous time with the Baby Sitters Agency ( see my entry on ” The Truth about Stacey” for more on that) and they didn’t drill Dawn with tests and questions.  Mary Anne then mentions that a new family- a BLACK family- has moved into Stacey’s old house.  Mal hopes that Jessi’s family moved into that house.

So for Mal’s test the next day, Mallory decides to go more casual and wears a sweat shirt that says ” I’d Rather Be Writing My Novel” ( OK even I may wear that) and jeans.  Mal has thirty five minutes to spare, and when she is walking along, she sees Jessi sitting on the front steps of Stace’s old house with a little girl and a baby boy!  Mallory meets Jessi officially, as well as Becca, age 8, and Squirt, ( real name John Philip Ramsey Jr) age fourteen months.  Jessi starts cracking jokes ( whch I swear she never did again) and talks about missing New Jersey and how her best friend/ cousin Keisha lives there and Jessi really misses her.  Jessi also mentions how she’s been ballet dancing since age 4, and asks Mallory if she wants to see her toe shoes. Mallory welcomes the opportunity, and Mal meets Jessi’s mom and the girls discover that both love to baby sit and read horse stories!!! Then Mallory realizes she has to rush off to take her test for the BSC.

The test the BSC gives is fuckin ridiculous. They ask Mal questions like the difference between a baby creeping and crawling, the age a baby cuts his or her first tooth  ( and Mal says 8 months because that is how old Claire was, and the answer is 7 months- ummm whatever) and of course Kristy is all snotty that Mal got that wrong. This is the book where I really started despising Kristy.  They also ask Mal how to apply a tourniquet- what is this CPR class? Well in the middle of that, Mr. Perkins calls and says that Mrs. Perkins just had the baby, and her name is Laura Elizabeth. Mr. Perkins will need extra sitters in the next few weeks for Mrs. Perkins to rest- how much resting does the gal wanna do with three kids? ( OK I am mean) and of course the girls are wicked excited about Mrs. Perkins’ new arrival.  Then comes the famous drawing portion of the test- I am sure all of you remember how Mallory had to draw the freakin digestive system for the girls- God, I could barely do that in 10th grade bio, and I sure couldn’t now- and I am 31, have a Master’s degree in social work whereby I specialized in social work with women and children, I worked in preschools for a year, and did some volunteer work at a day care center in college OK- OK enough about my credentials.  Kristy then tells Mal to come back Friday for the results of her test, and for her initial live baby sitting test, she will go with Claud to sit for the Perkins girls.

BTW I must say that Claudia spelled Myriah ” Maria” in her BSC entry about the job she and Mal went on together.  Mr. Perkins is going to the hospital to see his wife and new daughter, and then tells Gabbie and Myriah that maybe after dinner the girls can go to Dunkin Donuts with him- aww the goodness of Dunk’s…. well moving on.  Mallory asks the girls if they want a snack and they say yes, and Mal asks what they want to eat and Myriah says a Popsicle and Gabbie wants cookies. Claudia, all snotty about life, says that you never ask kids what they want to eat, you just give them a healthy snack- fuck you Claud you are no expert on healthy snacks! I so love Claudia, but not in this book!  Claudia then fixes the girls ” banana men” aka bananas with raisins for the face. Mallory then accidentally breaks a glass while pouring milk for the girls because Claudia is making her nervous.  Mal then hears Chewy scratching at the basement door, so Mal lets him out and then Chewy knocks shit over. Claudia  is all pissy over it.  Mal then asks Gabbie and Myriah if they are excited for a bahy sister and for once Gabbie acts 2 years old and starts to cry, saying she misses her Mommy and because Claud sees the kid cry, she again is all upset assuming Mal meant to make the kid cry. Sheesh.  Never have I hated the BSC girls this much- not even in ” Stacey vs the BSC” ( which I plan to snark on quite soon) .

Friday BSC meeting- Kristy tells Mal she flunked the test.  Claudia rates Mal’s job at the Perkins home as a 3  out of a scale of 10.  Claudia also gets all snotty because the girls are talking about the time Lucy Newton had colic, and Mal mentions how Claire had that, and had to have soy milk because regular milk bothered her tummy and Claudia snarks being all ” we didn’t give the baby soy sauce” being dumb and also acting as if Mal said that was a cure all for colic – but Mal does get to PWN Claudia by saying  ” I said soy MILK not sauce.”  Well then the girls chill out a little as they are eating Gummi  Worms- first by Dawn saying Gummi Worms are all ewww and then Kristy says her bro once ate dog food and then Mary Anne asks Mal if she remembers Claire bringing a tub of margerine for MA when Mary Anne got sunburned in Sea City and the girls all laugh. But then Kristy says that Mal can’t join the club unless she takes ANOTHER test and passes- Mal says no way and Kristy is all ” well then you can’t join” and Mal is all ” FINE I don’t want to join your stupid club”! and leaves in a huff.

Mal goes to a special place outside of her school with a nice tree to go and think things over due to being in a sulky mood  over not being able to join the BSC and how the girls were so rude. Then Mallory sees a black hand moving over rocks next to her- IT’S JESSI RAMSEY!!! Mal is a little startled until she sees who it is.  Mallory tells Jessi she goes to this tree to mope and tells Jessi about the BSC disaster. Jessi says how she is mopey because she does not fit in at all in Stoneybrook due to being black.  The neighbors haven’t introduced themselves to her family,  this kid Benny Ott throws rubber bands at her, crap like that. It does sound pretty terrible.  Jessi and Mal then talk about how much they both love to baby sit and Mal says she and Jessi can start their own Baby Sitting Club like Kristy, Dawn, Mary Anne and Claud’s club!!

OMIGOD at this scene- Jessi walks home with Mal after school. Claire goes to the door and says ” have you come to c…” and Mal says she bets Claire was going to say ” have you come to clean our house?” because Claire has only seen black women who have come over to clean before the Pikes have a big party! THE FUCK FUCK FUCK??? This was the era of the Cosby Show!!!! Wouldn’t Claire know- or be told- that black ladies aren”t just there to clean? I cannot believe this! At least Mal cuts Claire off and introduces her new friend Jessi to Claire. Mrs. Pike greets Jessi warmly and Jessi is very happy over that.  Jessi and Mal discuss how their club will run and decide they need a more original name than the Baby Sitters Club so they call themselves ” Kids Incorporated!” Good try Ann M but that is not original- this book was written when the show Kids Incorporated was mad popular!!  Mal and Jessi also decide that their advertising pitch will be that clients can pay for 2 sitters for the price of one!!! WOOOOOOO- and Kids Incorporated starts!  Mrs. Pike even hires the girls for Saturday afternoon!

Dawn is sitting for the Barrett kids, when she spots TROUBLE… and trouble is Dawn seeing Mal and Jessi babysitting the Pike kids. THEN Dawn sees a flier for Mal and Jessi’s new sitting service and Dawn calls Kristy all panicky and at first Kristy is all ” oh who cares” because Mal and Jessi are only 11 and Mallory doesn’t know about tourniquets but then Dawn is all ” well the girls were already sitting for the Pike kids” and Kristy is all OH NOES because the Pikes are some of their best clients!

Jessi and Mallory are having a Kids Inc meeting at Mallory’s house, and Jessi announces that she’s in the advanced ballet class at this important ballet school in Stamford that one has to audition for just to get into, and Mallory is quite proud of Jessi.  The girls aren’t too happy because the Pike fam can get calls on the phone they use since it’s not a private line like Claudia’s, and no one is calling them for jobs. Then Kristy Thomas calls them- and  Kristy is all ” oh you will never get jobs” and Mallory says ” we got 2 already” and yeah the 2nd job is sitting for Becca and Squirt but no matter- Mal knows Kristy is all pissed.

Mallory and Jessi have their job sitting for Becca and Squirt. Becca is playing with a machine that blows huge bubbles and a little girl across the street is fascinated and wants to play with Becca’s bubble machine, and the little girl’s mom is all ” get back in the house NOW” and doesn’t let the little kid play with Becca. Mad shitty on neighbor Ma’s part.  But then Charlotte Johannsen pops up and wants to play with Becca!!  Charlotte also brings banana bread for the Ramsey and says Dr Johannsen will call Becca’s mom to make plans for the Ramseys to have dinner with the Johannsens this weekend. So one family in Stoneybrook is accepting of the Ramsey family. 

At a BSC meeting, the girls are lamenting over how they are really busy with jobs, and are not really able to cover all of the jobs they are getting calls for, even with the help of Logan and Shannon, the associate members.  Then- GEE- they realize that they were shits to Mallory after Mary Anne points out how helpful Mal was in Sea City, and the girls also remember what a big help Mallory was at the playgroup they ran last summer ( for playgroup happenings including a time where Karen was awful as usual see my review for ” Claudia and Mean Janine”) . So the other girls convince Kristy to let Mallory try to join the club again and the girls realize that with those shit tests, they expected more out of Mal than even themselves and Claudia is all ” yeah before looking it up I didn’t know what the DIVESTIVE system looked like!!” UGH OK so you let Claud in the club right away and gave Mallory a hard time? Well Kristy calls Mal and says they want to give Mallory another chance, and Mallory says if they want Mal they have to take Jessi as well and Kristy tells Mal and Jessi to come to the next BSC meeting.

Kristy says that Mal and Jessi each have to take one sitting job with a current member to see how each girl does, and the BSC is confident that Mal and Jessi can do well. Jessi also asks what would happen if any of the clients didn’t want Jessi to sit because she is black,  and Kristy says any clients that don’t let Jessi sit because of her skin color will basically never be BSC clients again. So Mallory gets signed up to go to a job at the Newton home with Claudia, and Jessi will sit with Dawn for Jackie Rodowsky.

Mallory proves herself to be responsible and levelheaded at her job sitting for the Newton clan and Claudia says that there is no doubt about it to her- Mallory is a new member of the Baby Sitters Club! And Mallory says she knows Jessi will have been successful as well! Now, seriously, after how bitchy the girls were to Mal, don’t ask me why she wanted to join the BSC but in Stoneybrook it’s basically the only one anyone gets to babysit- the BSC has a monopoly on sitting in that town!!!

Well, for Wednesday ( or at least by the end of the week) I wanted to recap Regina’s Legacy from SVH but I am going to hold off on that for awhile because the Dairi Burger folks just did the best recap of that book ever so I don’t want to cover that book this soon!! So I will be recapping the SVH book ” The Morning After” instead- full of snarky goodness, that one!! Following that review, Fitzie’s will be taking a break for a week whilst I am on vacay,  and after that the four books that I really do hope to recap in June are Lauren in the Middle from Sleepover Friends, Freshman Obsession from Freshman Dorm, Robin in the Middle from Sweet Valley Kiddies, and to end June most likely I will recap Girl Talk’s Stealing the Show- a GREAT Girl Talk book for REALZ!!

Finally, I will close with this- as a child, my favorite member of the Baby Sitters Club was Stacey McGill- I felt bad for her because she was diabetic, she wore awesome clubs, and she always seemed to get great dudes- plus as a kid my favorite BSC books were all Stacey books!!! After Stacey I liked Mallory due to the glasses/curly hair thang, and then I liked Jessi Ramsey because she liked horses and ballet and learned sign language. Then after Jessi I was a Claudia fan, then after Claudia I liked Dawn ( I found her book Dawn on the Coast to be sooo kick ass- and I also loved Little Miss Stoneybrook and Dawn), and then I liked Mary Anne and Kristy- DEAD LAST- because I didn’t care about Bart Taylor or her shitty Krushers.

Now I’d have to say I am a lot more of a Mary Anne and Claudia fan, mostly because Mary Anne’s makeover is a great book, and Claudia is all unique and has the most realistic sibling relationship among the BSC I’d say. Plus Mimi rocks. So my new BSC order- my new #1- Mary Anne- yep- Mary friggin Anne- followed by Claudia, then I’d say probably Jessi is still #3, then Stacey is now down to #4, ( and seriously her books are still the best), then Mal is seriously knocked down to numero 5 because she is totes annoying, and then Dawn because Dawn- UGH and Kristy is still LAST ON MY LIST!! BOO KRISTY!!!

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3 Responses to “Hello, Mallory!!!!”

  1. Ugh, Kristy was SO stupid here. Like kids never got injured playing softball under her watch at Krushers practice? I’m SURE they did. Not that I’d remember–Krushers chapters always put me to sleep. Stupid Krushers.

    I liked MA, too, and I think MA’s Makeover was my favorite book, too. It felt like something I could ID with–shy Mary Anne gets her own look, attention from other ppl who aren’t cult of BSC. I think I kinda liked Mal back in the day, not so much now.

    I love reading Stacey books just b/c she’s SUCH a bitch and doesn’t even realize it, it’s kind of hilarious. Dawn’s fun to snark on, but wow, she’s whiny and while they all say she’s sooo opinionated and independent, she’s the most insecure of the bunch.

    Jessi’s cool, but they never gave her that much of a personality beyond being black/a dancer.

    No Abby? So she’s dead to you, too, eh?

  2. girltalkread Says:

    Abby doesn’t really count for me because I stopped reading BSC after ” Stacey and the Cheerleaders” Book 76. I did read one Abby book-well Abby was in it- called Baby Sitters Euro Vacation but that book was TERRIBLE! Abby seemed cool enough tho- but I hated the book I can’t even bring myself to recap it!!
    And embarassing story time- I read Stacey and the Cheerleaders my JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL!!!!! Thankfully soon after that my tastes matured and I began to read Glamour magazine, Terry McMillan, Bebe Moore Campbell and John Grisham- though I did read Freshman Dorm until I was a senior- UGH!

  3. Dairi Burger also did a great recap of the Euro Vacation book.

    I always was a Mary Anne/Mallory fan. Mary Anne is still my fav, but Mal just kind of annoys me now. I read BSC in High School too :P. But my last book was in the 50s or 60s. I think it may have been Jessi and the awful secret.

    The more I re-read the books though, the more I start to think maybe something was wrong with Claudia… I mean, soy milk vs soy sauce… Divestive system? Really, Claud?

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