Sweet Valley Childrens’ Ya All!!

Ah what a lovely evening- having a nice, warm blueberry muffin with tons o’ butter ( yep I am a butterton!!), watching the great movie Co Ed Call Girl on Lifetime Movie Network- and recapping Sweet Valley Kids #40 Robin in The Middle! One great thing about recapping SVK books is that each one is fairly short, so it shouldn’t take up oodles of time that I could be spending ummm- on Facebook, talking to my boyfriend on Yahoo Instant Messanger, or sorting my sock drawer. 😉 A thrilling life have I.

First of all cover snark- Jess and Liz both bring on the FUG on this cover. They look as fugly as Karen Brewer especially Jessica. Jessica has a doll and Liz has a soccer ball and both are tugging on Robin- poor Robin. She looks cute with her blonde bob haircut and pink clothes. Too bad her cousins are pushy and fug. So Jessica and Elizabeth are super excited about their cousin Robin coming to visit. I am thinking this is the same cousin Robin who Jess and Liz go to visit in Jessica’s Secret right? And Robin is all smoking and is going to join some girl gang or whatever and Jessica is dying for a period? was that cousin named Robin? Oh that reminds me to read that period book because it’s one of my favorite Sweet Valley Twins book- my cousin Vera and I both read that one numerous times!
Well Robin is visiting from San Francisco, and Jessica is eager to show Robin her dollhouse, and Elizabeth can’t wait to teach Robin some soccer moves that Todd taught her. So Todd plays soccer? I thought that was strictly Jeffrey French territory.  Jessica and Elizabeth aren’t looking that forward to having Robin’s sister Stacey tag along, though. Stacey is 3 and a total baby- I guess Stacey isn’t quite as advanced as Gabbie Perkins from BSC. Elizabeth wonders if Robin has changed a lot since she visited last year.

Jessica and Elizabeth are all thrilled that Robin looks like them.  You will also want to know that Uncle Kirk is tall with red hair, and Aunt Nancy has blonde hair and blue eyes just like Alice Wakefield. Does Aunt Nancy also have a pageboy haircut?  Stacey proudly shows the twins her doll, Matilda.  Jessica says she has a doll identical to Matilda, and she finds the doll in her closet. Jessica’s doll is named Suzanne.  Robin then gives Jessica and Elizabeth their gifts- Jess got a pink hair ribbon, and Elizabeth got a cool comic book. I hope it was an Archie comic!! 😉 Then Robin goes to give Steven his gift which is a pen. Robin tells Steven to try his pen out, and purple ink squirts all over his shirt- but then it promptly disappears! Robin is apparently a practical joker- which is now reminding me of how I just read Claudia and the Bad Joke and I will recap that eh eventually. It was never even a favorite as a kid. 

Jessica, Liz and Robin are laughing over the joke , and Stacey says Robin always gets in trouble for playing jokes.  Robin then plays another joke on Steven- she flattens one of his bike tires, he gets all upset, then Robin blows it right back up. I really don’t care about Robin’s dumb jokes.

Uncle Kirk then says they are all going to have hamburgers from the grill for dinner. Robin says to Jess and Liz that hamburgers are a great food in which to play yet another practical joke on Steven. Shit, Francine Pascal ( or rather ghostwriter Molly Mia Stewart who must be in third grade or the BSC ghostwriter for Claudia and the bad joke) this is NOT Claudia and the Bad Joke, OK?  So the girls put hot sauce on Steven’s hamburger, of course he demands water, and Uncle Kirk tells the girls they are not to play any more practical jokes.  Then Uncle Kirks says Jessica, Elizabeth and Robin are like the three musketeers- all for one and one for all, and Jessica declares that the three gals are best friends forever. Jessica also thinks to herself that Robin is a lot more fun than Elizabeth.

After dinner, Robin says since they can’t play any more jokes what can they do? Elizabeth suggests going to the park, and after that the girls will play with Jessica’s dollhouse.  Jessica doesn’t want to play soccer because it will make her all muddy, but Robin doesn’t mind being muddy at all, so Elizabeth thinks to herself that Robin is more fun than Jessica since Robin likes soccer and doesn’t mind getting dirty. Elizabeth and Robin even through some dirt at Jessica which Jessica isn’t exactly appreciating, but Elizabeth is just loving that Robin likes to play messy games.

When they get home, Alice tells the girls they have to hose off the mud. So the girls hose themselves off in the backyard and then take a bath to get all the mud off themselves. After the baths, it’s time for the girls to go to bed, so Jessica is a little miffed that the girls didn’t get to play dolls before bed.  Right before bed, Robin says she will be 7 years old next week, and Jessica says maybe Alice can make Robin a birthday cake while she is visiting to celebrate.

Robin and Jessica get up to play with Jessica’s dollhouse the next day. Elizabeth doesn’t want to play with dolls, so she goes downstairs to tell Mrs. Wakefield that she wants to have a party for Robin’s birthday. Alice says that Jess and Liz can decide what to have for Robin’s special bday meal, and Alice will make her a cake.  After breakfast, Elizabeth is hoping that Jess and Robin won’t want to play with the dollhouse again so they can all go to the park,  and after breakfast Jessica does say she’s tired of playing dolls- so she wants to play dress up. Robin agrees to play dress up and Elizabeth is all bummed that Robin doesn’t want to play outside.  Elizabeth thought Robin liked to do things that Elizabeth did- well gee some kids have more than one interest, Elizabeth! Girls CAN play with dolls AND soccer!! It always bugs me how in YA novels a girl can’t like both, like, fashion and sports-it’s one or the other, people! Ick.

Elizabeth invites Amy over to go to the park.  Jessica and Liz start squabbling because Elizabeth wants to take Amy and Robin to the park, but Jessica wants to play Barbies. Robin says why don’t they go to the park and then they can play Barbies.  Then on the way to the park, Elizabeth tells Robin about the party they are planning for her that night. Jess says they can have burgers for the special dinner and Elizabeth says no Robin doesn’t want burgers we had those last night. Then Amy suggests root beer floats but Jessica says she doesn’t like root beer and neither does Robin- without asking Robin. Then Elizabeth says she wants chocolate cake with white icing ( yum!) for Robin’s birthday cake, but Jessica says they should have yellow cake with chocolate icing. God ASK ROBIN!  Jessica then thinks to herself she wants Robin’s party to be great because Robin is her best friend.

Amy asks Robin what is wrong with Jess asnd Elizabeth and Robin says they all had fun at first but now they are fighting and Robin feels it’s her fault.  Then Jessica says at the park that they should play jump rope with Lila, and Liz says she wants to play tag with Todd and Kisho. ( I have no idea who Kisho is- must be a SVK token Asian boy, I assume) Robin says both sound fun, and again Elizabeth and Jessica don’t think of what Robin says and bicker with each other.  Robin says they can do both but Elizabeth and Jess keep arguing so Amy then asks who wants to play on the swings and Robin goes off with Amy to play on the swings.  Then Elizabeth and Jessica each accuse the other of alienating Robin. Robin then says she wants to leave because she is not having much fun. Elizabeth whines that at first Robin wanted to do things with Liz but then she wanted to play with Jess and the twins ask Robin who she likes more and Robin says she likes both girls because they are the Three Muskeeters and then Jessica says ” I think we broke up.”

After the girls are back home, Alice Wakefield says there can’t be a birthday cake  for Robin because Jessica and Elizabeth couldn’t agree on what to eat for cake . Then the girls talk it over a little and Jessica and Liz agree to have burgers  for dinner but Mr. Wakefield says well it’s too late to grill outdoors so it will be spaghetti and meatballs- and then Mrs. Wakefield pulls out an angel food cake!! Stacey declares that she helped trick the twins into thinking Alice had no plans for Robin’s birthday cake!! Ya know with Stacey’s vocab and ability to trick, I’d say she is a little Gabbie Perkins!  Then Jessica and Liz agree that just because they have a new friend in cousin Robin, it doesn’t mean the twins can’t be friends with each other and Robin. And Robin’s bday spaghetti and cake are awesome and all the girls have a great time.  The End.

and now for the fun- you all know I LOVE to list upcoming books I will be recapping- and I have made a ( mostly) final sched of summer reading/recapping sooooo- prepare to get excited and be dazzled and all that!

Next week ( week of June 8) I will be recapping Fabulous Five Book 1 Seventh Grade Rumors. For the week of June 15 it will be a recap of Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition The Unicorns Go Hawaiian. The week of June 22 brings a recap of Freshman Dorm 24- Freshman Obsession- yes the book about ‘roids and cults! The week of June 29 I will be recapping a book I would read at least three times a summer from the ages of 10 to about 14 years old- Boy Crazy Stacey BSC #8!!!

For the week of July 6- Sweet Valley U Thriller Edition  The Roommate ( a fantastically terrible read!! 🙂 will be snarked on!! For the 2nd week in July I will have 2 books to recap in one week- Karen’s Kittycat Club BSC Little Sister #4 and The Gymnasts #9 Crush on the Coach.  Third week of July- so July 20- twill be a recap of Girl Talk #8 Stealing the Show my other favorite Girl Talk book besides Peer Pressure!! And on the week of July 27- Sweet Valley High #37 with the cover of hottie Susan Stewart crying- yep Rumors will be snarked on- I LOVED Rumors when I was about 14-15 I really did- I read it sooo many times in 8th and 9th grade it’s pathetic- the book was cracking!

And August- a VERY SPECIAL MONTH! Which means every book I recap will have ” special issues” to discuss and snark on! In no particular order I will be recapping BSC #62- Kristy and the Worst Kid Ever, BSC #26 Claudia and the Sad Goodbye ( the death of a grandparent and a subplot of shit parents is special I’d say), BSC #32 Kristy and the Secret of Susan, and Sweet Valley Twins #69 Won’t Someone Help Anna- the book about Anna the deaf girl who came before Regina Morrow. 

And September and October will bring more Gymnast and Sleepover Friends books, one or two Elizabeth Gail recaps, and a lot more Stacey BSC books and Sweet Valley High #58- Brokenearted- in which Liz acts like a cunt and we see the end of Jeffrey French- and I liked Jeffrey a LOT more than Todd!!!

Soooo please stay tuned for next week when I recap Fabulous Five Book #1- this book is a real treat!!!


4 Responses to “Sweet Valley Childrens’ Ya All!!”

  1. First of all, I smother my pancakes, waffles, muffins and French toast in butter, so you’re in good company.

    I love that Robin got sick of the twins and decided to just hang out on the swings with Amy. Take that, Wakefields!

  2. girltalkread Says:

    Yeah another Butterton!! I am so glad you like the blog Shannon- be sure to read other posts of mine if you haven’t yet- I have read almost all of yours this week ( slow week @ work what can I say??) Hope u remain a fan! I also LOVED when Robin ditched the twins for Amy- they were being utter Karen Brewer like brats!

  3. I used to read these as a kid, I never realized how young they were in SVK.

    I am very excited about the Fab Five book coming up…I will definitely be back 🙂

  4. girltalkread Says:

    Mara I am glad to hear you will be back- did you read the Fab Five post yet?? I have 2 more Fabulous Fives I am recapping soon as well, and I may try to win more on E Bay!!!

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