Karen B. is a FUG Child!!!

The cover of the book ( BSC Little Sister Numero 4) features Karen, Amanda Delaney, and Hannie Papadakis all sitting with their cats and looking adoringly at their kitty cats. I always thought Boo Boo was so mean so I don’t know why he is letting fugly Karen ( who is sporting a wicked fug red sweater that looks like something Bill Cosby would wear on the Cosby Show) hold him. Hannie’s kitty is lying down as Hannie smiles at him happily- Hannie is sort of cute and shown with red hair- now I thought the Papadakises were Greek- now if they are only half Greek and Mrs. P is Irish, I can see where Hannie may have red hair. But I swear that we even hear in Book 11 of the BSC that Hannie is chubby and has curly black hair. UGH! Amanda Delaney looks like some prissy Kelly Taylor from 90210 type with total Jessica Wakefield or Amy Sutton bitchface- in fact I have decided that Amanda Delaney looks like little Amy Sutton and she sucks. Priscilla her stupid cat who cost 400 bucks also sucks.

Chapter 1:  Karen is mentioning that STUPID Two Two shit- yes Karen you have two stuffed cats,two halves of the same bed, two houses- the little house and the big house, blah blah blah blah and I wanna strangle Karen already- and the illustration on page 3 shows Karen sitting on her bed with this shit eatin grin on her face and her legs all spread in that six year old style because you have no modesty and enjoy showin’ your snatch at that age.  Karen also mentions how Kristy is the best stepsister in the whole world. Karen and Andrew are on their way to the big house- wooo. OK I swear EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN LITTLE SIS BOOK STARTS WITH KAREN LEAVING THE LITTLE HOUSE TO VISIT THE BIG HOUSE! Why??? Can’t Ann M. Martin be at all creative?

Chapter 2:  Karen wakes up at the big house on Saturday morning, Karen mentions about how she broke her wrist ( happens in Book 2 Karen’s Roller Skates which is recapped on this here bloggie look for it!)  There is admittedly a great illustration of Karen’s various pets- Shannon the puppy ( she’s David Michael’s puppy of course that he acquired in Kristy and the Snobs- which I am recapping pretty soon BTW), Boo Boo the cat, and Rocky  who is Seth’s cat and Midgie who is Seth’s dog. I always feel that we are to think that Seth, Karen’s stepdad, is like hella poor because he could only buy a little house for Karen, Andrew and Karen’s mom, but I bet Seth is some sexy, YOUNGER, construction worker or auto mechanic or something- I dunno I can see Mrs. Brewer- Engel being  a cougar can’t you? 🙂  And oh Midgie is a mutt but it’s OK Karen says not to worry they love Midgie even though they don’t know what kind of dog he is- OMG why do I feel that this is how Stacey, Kristy, et al talk when describing Jessi Ramsey??? SERIOUSLY!!! ” She’s black but we still like her swear to God!!” Hannie comes to Karen’s big  house to come visit, and she is very excited.

Chapter 3: Hannie got a new kitten!!! She will join Myrtle the Turtle and Noodle the Poodle at Hannie’s house ( HATE the rhyming names) and Hannie’s cat is- PAT!! UGH!  Then Karen thinks about how lucky she is that Andrew and she  are sooo lucky to be Two Twos because Karen and Andrew have more pets than anyone else they know- shut up Karen.  Pat the cat is a fuzzy black kitten and very cute. Karen points out to Hannie that now Karen, Amanda Delaney who lives next door to Hannie,a nd Hannie now all have cats. Hannie doesn’t really care as she’s no fan of Amanda’s. Neither am I. I may detest Amanda even more than I detest Karen. And- Karen is now getting an idea….

Chapter 4:  Karen decides that she, Amanda and Hannie should start a club- a Kittycat Club!!  Karen figures that the girls can learn about how cats grow, what they eat, stuff like that.  But Karen then thinks that’d be boring because they would have to look stuff up in the library- OK when I was 6 and 7 years old I was a total dork so I would have loved that shit- I know when I was 7, I LOVED to read all about frogs, dolphins,a nd turtles a lot- well that and Elizabeth Gail books.  Karen also wants everyone to bring their cats to each club meeting.  Then Karen asks Kristy how she started the Baby Sitters Club and we go to…

Chapter 5:  Karen and Kristy eat a lunch of peanut butter and banana sammitches ( YUMMMMMM) and Kristy talks about how her mommy needed a sitter for David Michael one afternoon when Kristy was 12, and no one from Kristy’s fam could do it, so Kristy was watching poor Mrs. Thomas call all of these sitters and her pizza was getting cold ( remember Kristy being all concerned over that??) and so Kristy thought it was too bad that her mom couldn’t call one number and reach a bunch of sitters- and so her idea was born, she asked Claudia and Mary Anne to join, Claud asked Stacey, and well the rest is history- and now this is inspiring me to recap Kristy’s Great Idea!!)  Kristy also tells Karen how they elected a vice president, secretary etc and Karen decides her club should have officers too.

Chapter 6:  Karen  makes invitations out of papers and crayon for Amanda and Hannie to join the Kittycat Club.  She makes sure to write to bring your cat!

Chapter 7:   Karen is trying to find Boo Boo for the club meeting, and is whining over how Boo Boo is old and cranky. Karen finds him in time for the meeting. Hannie comes over with Pat and Boo Boo swipes at her. Then Amanda comes over with her shitty 400 dollar cat.  The girls sit and close the door to Karen’s room, and then Pat pounces on Priscilla’s pricey tale- HAH HAH Then Boo Boo runs under Karen’s bed and then Hannie and Amanda start to take their cats and leave andthen Karen shouts ” but don’t you want to make a lot of money???” so we go to

Chapter Ocho ( or 8):  Karen decides that she, Hannie and Amanda could start a cat sitting service and watch someone’s cat for a few days while people go away, like how Kristy and her friends sit for kids.  Amanda and Hannie wonder how people would know to call them. Karen says they could advertise by putting flyers in mailboxes like Kristy does. Amanda then asks why they have to bring their cats to every meeting and Karen is all ” oh, because.” Karen sucks.  Kristy tucks Karen in that night ( and in the pic, Kristy looks kinda tomboy, Rachel Leigh Cooke hot, and Karen looks fugly- big shock) and asks how the Kittycat Club is and Karen tells Kristy it’s kick ass.

Chapter 9:  The girls decide to have meetings every other Saturday. They will charge 3 dollars a day for cat sitting so that each girl will get one dollar a day.  Karen then decides that they must elect officers. Karen says she should be President as she thought of the idea ( and I have to agree with Senorita Fuglarita for once) but Hannie and Amanda don’t agree and each vote themselves to be president. So Karen says they should draw names out of a box.  Karen draws herself to be Vice President, and Hannie is secretary and Amanda gets to be president, and Amanda starts crowing over it.  Karen is still sore over not getting to be Prez ( and Hannie isn’t exactly thrilled either)  but shitty Kelly Taylor/Amy Sutton like Amanda says she won’t be in the club unless she’s president. Karen agrees to that but says she gets to run the meetings. Hey didn’t Dick Cheney and George Dubya have that agreement?

Chapter 10: At school, Nancy Dawes, Karen’s other best friend, ( and according to the pic is a giantess of a girl who sort of resembles a little Ellen Riteman from Sweet Valley High, but a giantess one) hears Hannie and Karen discuss the club and asks what it is. Karen rudely tells Nancy the giant ( I mean Karen’s other bestie) that she can’t be in the club because she doesn’t have a cat.  Nancy is upset and says she can’t see where Karen has a club without her best friend. Plus, Karen is pissy because the girls haven’t gotten a cat sitting job yet.

Chapter 11:  Boring- the girls still aren’t getting hired to be cat sitters. And we are so shocked.

Chapter 12:  Nancy comes over to see Karen at the little house ( Nancy is Karen’s little house bestie just so’s ya know) and begs to be in the Kittycat Club and says she can borrow Goosie the stuffed cat so she can be in the club, but bitchy ass Karen refuses saying it has to be a REAL cat.  Nancy gets upset and says the club is stupid anyway because the girls aren’t getting one single job and Karen is all then why do you want to even be in the club then.  Nancy then says ” we are not best friends anymore!!” and Karen says ” forever?” and stupid Nancy goes ” no, just not until Monday”- so why would they be best friends again on Monday? Kids are dumb.

Chapter 13- Their first job!! For reals- this lady named Mrs. Werner called Hannie at home and said that she’d need a cat sitter for a few days while she goes away.  Mrs. Werner wants one of the girls to come over that afternoon and Hannie says Karen will have to because Hannie has a Brownie meeting and Amanda has piano lessons.  Karen goes to visit this old lady’s house and the old lady looks astonished!  The poor old lady thought that the flyer read that the girls were sixteen, seventeen and eighteen and not six, seven, and eight. So Karen tells her what the flyer really said, and Mrs. Werner said she wanted someone a little older than Karen to feed the cat. Wow so someone in Stoneybrook has some brains?? I mean most adults think nothing of having 11 year olds watch 3 and 4 kids!!!

Chapter 14: Yes, Karen, you love going to the big house.  SHUT UP!  That’s about all that happens.

Chapter 15:  Karen has a meeting with Amanda and Hannie and there are two problems- some folks think the  girls are too young to cat sit, and some people need others to watch pets other than cats.  Hannie says she wants to be president- ummm OK. I usually love Hannie, but not so much in this book. Amanda says the meetings are boring. Hannie says again she wants to be Prez and Amanda tells her to shut up.  Then Boo Boo goes to swipe at Priscilla and Kelly/Amy/Amanda is all ewww get your dirty cat away from my beautiful one! Fuck you and 400 dollar Shits-silla, Amanda. So Karen gets pissed at all this and tells both girls to leave.

Chapter 16:  Karen tells Kristy about her issues. Karen is upset that her club isn’t successful like the BSC. Kristy tells Karen there are different kinds of clubs- some for fun, some are like a business, etc.  Kristy says that probably not that many people need cat sitters. Karen is all ” oh but a lot of people need baby sitters?” ( ummm duh Karen doesn’t Watson hire one all the time so he doesn’t have to look at your fugness? Though Andrew is cool as hell) and Kristy says yes. Kristy also says a lot of people just think Karen and her girls are too young to cat sit. Karen asks if Kristy knew this the whole time and Kristy says yes. Karen is all ” why didn’t you tell me” and Kristy says ” well if I said not to start the club would you have anyway” and Karen says yes.

Chapter 17: Karen invites Hannie and Amanda over and tells them she has decided the club is unsuccessful and it will end.  They turn into ” un members” by Karen waving her magic wand. Yes, it is as dumb as it sounds.

Chapter 18:  Karen is thinking if starting another club just for fun would be more fun and she has to discuss this with Nancy, Amanda and Hannie.

Chapter 19: ( GAWD there are too many fuckin chapters in these books) Karen calls Nancy and tells her she’s sorry for not allowing her in the Kittycat Club but she wants her to be in Karen’s new club- the FUN club!!

Chapter 20:  Nancy and Karen had told a bunch of kids about the Fun Club. Eight girls in all come over for the first meeting of the Fun Club and all of the girls play Cinderella.  They also make puppets out of balloons, like papier mache ( Damn I love the SHIT out of papier mache- I hated art class but LOVED papier mache)  and they sing songs and tell jokes and the Fun Club is a great success. And Karen apparently has fug friends except for Hannie who really is too cute, and Amanda who is cute for being a mini Kelly Taylor. 

Next- recapping a couple of Sweet Valley Kids books- Sweet Valley Kids #21 Jessica and the Spelling Bee Surprise and SVK #25 Left Out Elizabeth.  I would love to review those by week’s end but I have a busy weekend coming up so it’s doubtful. After some Sweet Valley Kids reviews, next comes:

Gymnasts #9 Crush on the Coach

Girl Talk #8- Stealing the Show ( and oh I am seeing ” Grease” in December- Taylor Hicks is teen angel- should be interesting)

BSC #76- Stacey’s Lie ( where Stacey acts like a total douchey Mc-Cuntington)

Gymnasts #8- Captain of the Team ( which Darlene narrates and she’s my ho- she’s a MUCH better African American YA character than Jessi Ramsey can EVER hope to be!!!! So take that Jessi!!)

And now it’s time to watch the Jeffersons- because watching George and Weezie and their antics is much more fun than reading any book about Karen Brewer and her antics and fug.


2 Responses to “Karen B. is a FUG Child!!!”

  1. yay for george ‘n weezie.

    Ugh. Karen sucks so much. Also, didn’t the Papidakeses already have Pat when the BSC books started? or am I remembering wrong? Eh, who cares. Stupid Karen.

  2. girltalkread Says:

    Sadako I can’t remember if Hannie had Pat the Cat already but if she did, I wouldn’t be surprised. Karen does suck ass- and readers- I just bid on some more BSC Lil Sis books- so hope that I win so I can recap more of these! I have plenty of Sweet Valley Kids books but those aren’t nearly as fun!

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