BSC #15- Little Miss Stoneybrook…and Dawn

This was one of my favorite BSC books as a kid- my favorite of all time is probably Boy Crazy Stacey but this one was definitely one I read A LOT- as did my sister.  The basic plot is that Claudia gets a phone call from Dr. Johannsen specifically requesting Claudia to be Charlotte’s baby sitter one day because Stacey just moved to NYC and Charlotte really misses her. The other members of the BSC now feel that they must not be good sitters because Dr Johannsen only asked for Claudia ( because these girls always think it’s about them.) So when Mrs. Pike asks Dawn to help Claudia and Margo with the Little Miss Stoneybrook pageant Dawn feels it’s her chance to prove that she’s the best baby sitter. Little Miss Stoneybrook is for girls ages 5-8 and Claire and Margo both beg to be  in the pageant but Mrs. Pike is too busy with some library project to prepare the girls for the pageant ( I guess Dawn has to help them with the talent portion, assist in how to shake judge’s hands, answer questions crap like that) so of course Mrs. Pike has to pass the job on to a BSC member. Mallory is not asked because Mallory is actually sensible and says beauty pageants and unfair and sexist and has made her viewpoints clear, and Dawn lives right nearby and can just walk to the Pike home.

Meanwhile, this means the other girls just HAVE to find a tot to enter in the Little Miss Stoneybrook pageant- so here I will give a description of what goes on with each girl. By the way, Jessi finds pageants sexist as well, and Becca would never enter a beauty pageant as she is too shy.

Soo- Dawn prepares Claire and Margo. Claire decides to sing Popeye the Sailor Man, and wears a cute sailor suit.  Margo’s talent will be reciting the House that Jack Built and peeling a banana with her feet at the same time ( and yes my sis and I at ages 12 and 6 both attempted to perform this same feat too many times). Margo and Claire end up squabbling quite a bit since they will be competing against each other in the pageant. At the pageant , Claire blows it by answering a question ” What is your greatest hope?” with ” I hope Santa Claus is real.” Well, that’s an honest answer from a 5 year old!  Margo blows it because there is this pageant head Jon Benet type, Sabrina Bouvier, who answers a question with the answer Margo wanted to use ( the answer being ” global peace”) so when Margo gets asked a question she can’t think of a damn thing to say so Margo blows her chances of winning Little Miss Stoneybrook as well.

Meanwhile, Dawn is having issues at home- Jeff can’t take living in CT anymore and wants to live with his dad in California. Dawn and her mom are both really upset, and Dawn sort of wishes she could live with her dad too- but Dawn would never leave her mom!! Dawn’s mom eventually tells Dawn that this is best for Jeff, and Dawn is trying her best to adjust when Jeff moves at the very end.

Claudia- Basically forces Charlotte to enter the pageant, even though Charlotte is as shy as Becca Ramsey. Charlotte is going to recite the part where Violet Beaurgard blows up like a blueberry in ” Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” and Claud even makes Charlotte a way cool blueberry costume. Charlotte gets WICKED stage fright and can’t go through with reciting the poem and has to be taken off the stage crying. See, what Claudia should have done is pulled a Blanche from the Golden Girls  and just pushed Charlotte aside and finished reciting the part from the book. ( for any of you who haven’t seen this ep, there’s  a great episode of Golden Girls where Blanche forces her niece Melissa to do a beauty pageant, Melissa stands theree frozen, so Blanche says ” give me that boa” and finishes singing the song Melissa was gonna sing! Great stuff,that GG)  Of course, Claudia couldn’t memorize from a book if you paid her. I just don’t get why Claudia EVER thought Charlotte would ever want to be in a beauty pageant! Or why Dr. and Mr. Johannsen agreed to let Charlotte do it!! Claudia is just ridiculous in this book.

Kristy: Gets Karen to agree to be in the pageant after Karen gets all excited about wearing sparkles like ladies on TV. Of course, then Karen gets upset because she’s not going to wear sparkles. Karen’s talent is singing the friggin Wheels on the Bus song. Karen adds numerous stanzas to the songs and bores the hell out of her audience. In a fire, Karen would rescue her pen that writes in four colors, her blanket and her brother Andrew.

Mary Anne: Talks Myriah Perkins into entering the pageant. Myriah is talented at everything and I am surprised Mr. and Mrs. Perkins didn’t have her on the beauty pageant circuit starting at age 1. Myriah sings on the Good Ship Lollipop and tap dances to it, and she is great. But the girls are all upset because even though Myriah is talented and smart, she doesn’t win the grand prize- Jon Benet, or Sabrina Bouvier, wins the pageant- and Sabrina sings a song called ” Moon River” that I had never heard of in my life when I read this book. Sabrina was not even very good but because she is poised and wears tons of makeup, she wins the pageant. Hey, Mal and Jessi warned you guys these pageants weren’t fair! But Myriah is thrilled as she got first place, and first place is a shopping spree at Toy City, a toy store of course. Gabbie Perkins wanted to also be in the pageant, but she is not ages 5-8. Margo and Karen cry hysterically over not winning the pageant, incidentally.

At the end of the book, it’s sort of funny- Claire calls Dawn saying she wants to enter a beautiful child contest at Bellair’s Department Store, and will Dawn help her? That’s too much.  We also learn that when Dawn was a baby, she won a beautiful baby contest. LAME

I won’t be posting again until probably early next week or the end of this week- stay tuned for a most likely short recap ( hey Sada likes ’em 😉 of Sweet Valley Twins #3 The Haunted House.

I wanted to add this story about myself- when I was about 8 and our third grade teacher read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to us, I wanted to try to be like Violet and chew gum continuously for as long as I could- and yes I stuck the gum to the bedpost at night. I lasted about a week and then decided it was just too gross to continue doing it. And I love both the original Gene Wilder movie and the newer Johnny Depp movie- I love both Violets, and Violet’s mom in the newer one is hilarious! Both Augustus Gloops are good too. But Veruca in the Gene Wilder movie is sooo much better than new Veruca!!!! “I want the world, I want the whole world!! ” It’s my bar of chocolate- give it to me now!!”