Sweet Valley Kids are not very sweet

So begins my fairly short recap of Sweet Valley Twins #3 The Haunted House. Usually, I found that 12 year old Jess and Elizabeth Wakefield look much cuter than 16 year old Jessica and Elizabeth. Elizabeth has on sort of a fug sweater on the cover, but I like the way her hair is pulled back. Jessica has a more untamed look and a purple sweatshirt. Nora Mercandy, the alleged ” witch” living at the Mercandy mansion, has this beautiful, straight, long black hair that I really wanted and you can tell her jeans are tapered.

There are rumors in Sweet Valley that Mrs. Mercandy is a witch. I almost feel like Karen Brewer should live in Sweet Valley, and if she did, I bet she’d act just as horrid as Lila did in this book. The rumor is that Mrs. Mercandy is a witch who chains her husband in the attic, because the Mercandys never leave the house. So old people not leaving their homes is rare in Sweet Valley? A girl about Jess and Elizabeth’s age moves into the Mercandy mansion and Jessica feels she looks ” spooky.” And naturally her hair is long and black. This girl is Nora Mercandy, and Elizabeth befriends her on her first day of school and gets to really like Nora.

But the Unicorn Club are determined to be really bitchy to Nora from Day 1- and seriously they are SUPER bitchy in this book and I almost don’t get why. The poor girl is new to the school and her mother died a MONTH ago. UGH!! Lila Fowler is especially ROTTEN to Nora. Lila gets really upset when Nora kicks her booty in a tennis match in gym class, and Lila had bet her expensive pen ( yes a pen) that she would win, and when Nora wins the bet Lila makes it seem that Nora stole the pen and Nora gets in trouble with Mr. Edwards, the vice principal ( heh Mr. Edwards was the name of my principal in middle school!) because Mr. Edwards instantly believes Lila’s story. Lila is not satisfied with this bit of revenge so in this unbelievable part of the story, Lila notices that Nora passes in her math quiz right away so Lila erases her name and puts in Lila’s , thinking Nora must be good at math, and Lila writes Nora’s name on Lila’s own quiz while Ms. Wyler is looking through a file cabinet. What happened to teachers watching kids like hawks during tests and quizzes? Stupid Ms. Wyler instantly believes that Lila actually got an A in math, and is wondering why Nora received a D, as Nora was great in math at her old school.  Ms. Wyler, you are a fuckin idiot- you wouldn’t know Lila was bad at math?  Then again, does Sweet Valley employ any SMART teachers?

Nora is completely confused as to why all the kids are so mean to her. Elizabeth says ” oh everyone says your grandma is weird because she never leaves the house”. Nora decides that to get the kids to like her, she will invite everyone over for punch and cookies, and to meet her grandma. The Unicorn Club agrees to go after Jessica talks them into it- after Elizabeth has to bribe Jessica into taking the Unicorns by promising to buy Jessica popcorn with extra butter at the movies,  and that Jess can borrow Liz’s new yellow sweater. At the house, ( Bruce Patman joins the Unicorns on the way) an old man looks stiff and is mumbling ” Nor…. Nor…” these stupid kids all scream and say it’s a zombie coming. Ummm an old man DOES live there, right???  So Lila is more pissed that ever and decides that Nora will be a SLAVE to the Unicorns- this is getting so ridiculous. Nora has to bring fresh cookies to the Unicorns during study hall, and has to do Jess, Lila and Ellen’s math homework.  Then Lila decides she wants to get revenge on Nora like crazy on Halloween by inviting Nora to her Halloween party, telling Nora to dress like the witch she is, while having some of the boys like Charlie Cashman and Bruce Patman to pretty much vandalize the Mercandy backyard.  So Lila all of a sudden starts being sweet to Nora and invites her to the party, and dummy Nora doesn’t see it’s a trick and is all excited to be accepted by the damn Unicorns.

Well at the party when Nora is dressed as a witch everyone is wondering how Nora got such an authentic witch’s costume from her grandma’s attic…. and Lila and Ellen start laughing at Nora and calling her ” Mercandy witch.”  Then Nora overhears Tamara Chase telling some kids what they are doing at the Mercandy mansion, and Nora cries and runs off ( but not before yelling out a Regina Morrow like ” I hate all of you!!” ) to the mansion to protect her grandparents or whatever.  Elizabeth, Amy and Rick Hunter, ( who shows an interest in Nora, which also pissed off Li as Lila likes him) run after Nora and Rick says that they should all go to see what’s up with the Mercandy mansion. Nora is in the attic of the mansion, and then Ken Matthews and Bruce Patman notice all of these posters with ” Marvelous Marvin” who used to be a really famous magician back  in the day, on the walls. Nora says Marvelous Marvin is her granddad, and he had studied under Houdini!!! Nora explains that her grandparents don’t leave the house because Mr. Mercandy had a stroke 10 years ago ( explaining the stiffness and that he can’t talk well) and Mrs. Mercandy has to provide 24 hour care for him. So these Sweet Valley kids chose to be mean to old people and a girl whose mom just died. Way to go! Of course, all of the kids now think Nora is great because her grandfather used to be a famous magician, and Nora even shows them a trick by sawing Elizabeth in half- or pretending to, of course!!

 

By the way, Elizabeth and Amy were both clowns for Halloween. Jessica, Lila, Ellen and Janet were all Hula girls. Charlie Cashman was a pirate.

At the end of the book, we are introduced to a novel I am recapping soon- Choosing Sides! Jessica, Lila and Ellen are starting a cheerleading squad, and Amy sees a flyer for tryouts and says that her aunt taught her baton last summer, and she got really good at it, and she would like to join the squad. Elizabeth hopes Amy doesn’t, because she doesn’t want to lose Amy to the Unicorns like she did Jessica!

Stay tuned early next year where I recap another Halloween book- Lila’s Haunted House Party, a Sweet Valley Kids book. Then- Choosing Sides! After that is a book from the very shitty Unicorn Club series ( the girls are in 7th grade and LIZ is also a Unicorn) the Best Friend Game. And following that, a Fabulous Five book called The Great TV Turnoff.

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4 Responses to “Sweet Valley Kids are not very sweet”

  1. I hardly read Sweet Valley growing up, but I did own this book. It came in a boxed set of books 1-4. 🙂

  2. When I was a kid, why was I never aware about how insanely bitchy these girls were? I just accepted them at face value.

    • me too. now I can’t believe they got away with any of it. they were pretty rotten. But liz and her friends are dull. So I don’t what’s worse

    • girltalkread Says:

      Oh Nikki even as an 11 year old I KNEW they were bitchy- but I was the bullied girl in school so as a kid I like loved Liz b/c she was always such a friend to bullied girls- but I do like SVT Liz more than SVH Liz- or shit SVU Liz- SVU Liz SUCKS ASS!!!! But yeah…. I hated how Lila acted even in 5th grade!

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