BSC Little Sister #15-Karen’s in Love

First of all, Karen Brewer and Ricky Torres are the two fugliest ( or most fug??) children I have ever seen!!!! EWWWWWWWWWW!

Karen is invited to Pamela Harding’s birthday party, and Karen can’t stand her. Karen calls Nancy to see if she was invited to Pamela’s party. She was. Karen and Nancy decide to get Pamela presents that she will hate.  Nancy thinks maybe she will give Pamel the prize at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box, which I find sort of funny.  The next day at school, Ricky Torres tells Karen he was also invited to Pamela’s birthday party,which he finds weird.  Bobby Gianelli says he doesn’t know why Pamela invited boys to her girly party. Natalie Springer says that since Pamela doesn’t like her, Nancy, Hannie or Karen she doesn’t know why Pamela would invite them. Pamela comes in with her cronies, Jannie and Leslie, in tow and says that her parents made her invite the whole class to her birthday party.  As Pamela, Jannie and Leslie walk off, Ricky and Karen say that maybe they can jinx Pamela’s party and play tricks on her and buy her awful gifts.  Ricky says he would love to bring Pamela a snake for her birthday! He wonders where he can find a real snake.  Ms. Colman then announces that the class with have a Valentine’s Day party. Karen thinks to herself that she has to get Ricky a super gigundo good Valentine’s Day present as Karen and Ricky are engaged, after all. Groan.

It’s the day of Pamela’s party, and we find out that Karen got Pamela plastic bracelets in different colors and Karen knows Pamela will hate them.  Karen’s mom questions if that is a good gift for Pamela but Karen tells her mom it’s perfectly adequate.  Karen doesn’t even bother to dress up for the party she just wears a baggy red sweater and jeans. Did kids actually get dressed up for birthday parties back in the early 90’s? I know I never did.  Pamela is having a circus party and has a clown and juggler.  Karen keeps waiting for Ricky to do mean things to Pamela as he said he would, but he never does. He tells Pamela he likes the cake at the party, and that her dress looks pretty. Karen is gigundo mad!  Karen can’t wait for Pamela to open Ricky’s present, since Ricky said he is getting her a snake! When Pamela does open Ricky’s gift, though, it’s a pair of purple suspenders- very Claudia Kishi. Pamela loves them and says she can wear them with  her blue pants, and Karen whispers to Ricky that she thought Ricky was getting Karen a snake, but Ricky says his mom wouldn’t let him. Karen is not happy that Ricky was nice to Pamela and got her a cool present at the birthday party.

At school on Monday, Ricky tries to talk to Karen but Karen ignores her. Karen decides that she will not talk to Ricky because she has decided Ricky has a crush on Pamela, and likes her more than he likes Karen. So Karen starts talking to Nancy and Ricky asks Karen why she isn’t speaking to him.  Karen doesn’t reply.  Karen later tells Ricky she’s mad because Ricky is a traitor- he didn’t do one mean thing to Pamela at her party, and didn’t get her a snake for her birthday. Ricky is all ” so what?”  Ricky asks Karen to play dodgeball at recess and Karen refuses. After recess, Ms. Colman says kids need to choose partners to write a poem together. Ricky shocks Karen by asking Pamela if she wants to be partners!  Karen knew it- Ricky DOES have a crush on Pamela! So Karen does her schoolwork, and then writes another poem for Ricky that’s all ” icky Ricky and Pamela sittin’ in a tree” and you know the rest I can imagine.  Ricky sees the poem and sticks his tongue out at Karen. Karen sticks her tongue out at Ricky. Then Ricky wads up the note, spits in it, and throws a spitball at Karen that Ms. Colman doesn’t see. Karen has a feeling she and Ricky aren’t getting married after all. God, I hate Ricky and Karen’s pretend marriage.

Karen and Andrew make Valentine’s Day cards for all of the kids at the big house and discuss how they will have Valentine’s Day parties at each house.  At school, Ricky and Karen are doing mean things to each other- Ricky squirts a picture Karen is drawing with ink, and then Karen sticks a huge wad of gum in Ricky’s desk.  Then Ricky retaliates by putting a mashed banana in Karen’s desk. When Nancy and Hannie see that, they join in on this fight and call Ricky ” sticky Ricky” because of the gum on his desk, and eventually most of the girls start calling Ricky ” icky, sticky Ricky.” Ricky calls Karen ” Rotten Karen” and the boys are all against Karen, Hannie, and Nancy and most of the other girls in class. But Pamela, Jannie and Leslie are on Ricky’s side and when Ricky calls Karen ” four eyes” Karen says ” you are four eyes too Ricky” and Pamela says ” well I am not four eyes- Karen is a four eyes, Karen is a four eyes.” Karen is glad when the school week is over.

Karen decides she wants to make up with Ricky and the perfect day to do is Valentine’s Day. She tells Hannie she will make Ricky a really gigundo cool, romantic Valentine’ s Day card. Hannie is going to make one for Scott Hsu, who is Hannie’s pretend friggin husband. Damn- all these 7 year olds are married, and me and most of my 30 and 31 year old friends aren’t? Life isn’t fair 😉  Karen and Andrew go to buy Valentine’s Day cards for their friends in class with their mom. Andrew gets a Valentine’s Day card special for this girl Mandy in his preschool class, and Karen teases Andrew that Mandy is his girlfriend and Andrew doesn’t even protest.  Karen gets two special cards for Hannie and Nancy, but then decides to make a special card for Ricky Torres at home that’s full of glitter and says ” Love Karen” on it.

Mommy and Seth make a special Valentine’s Day breakfast on Valentine’s Day. They make strawberry pancakes with strawberry flavored milk. Karen wears all red- a red dress, red tights and red shoes, with a red bracelet. Karen got barrettes from Mommy and Seth and Andrew got a red Matchbox car. Then Seth gives Karen’s mom a carnation and they kiss in front of Andrew and Karen and Karen is all ewwwwww about it. Hey Karen part of marriage is kissing so get used to it!  Karen is nervous that Ricky will not give her a Valentine.

In school, Karen notices that Pamela only has Valentine’s Day cards for Leslie, Jannie and RICKY!! Karen waits all day for a Valentine from Ricky- and never sees one. Karen is gigundo bummed of course.  The class party is great times other than Karen having to hear Pamela tell Ricky ” happy Valentine’s Day” and Ricky blushing and saying thank you.  But then as Karen opens her Valentines, Ricky pulls out a huge envelope from his desk and passes it to Karen!  It’s a huge Valentine’s card that says 2 good 2 be 4 gotten and Ricky writes that he is sorry and still wants to marry Karen.  Ricky and Karen make up and declare that they will get married Monday on the playground, and anyone who wants to come is invited! Karen also feels bad that Natalie Springer got the least amount of Valentine’s ( she sounds like me in 2nd grade) and Karen decides she has to do something nice for Natalie.

 At the big house, everyone loves the Valentine’s cards Karen and Andrew made, and Karen gets tons of cards from the big house family. Then Karen and the big house family go to McDonald’s and have a great time.  After McDonald’s, Karen invites Hannie over to ” plan the wedding. ” Hannie suggests that Karen wear her good pink dress and nice winter coat. Hannie and Karen also make a paper flower bouquet ( because Ricky gave Karen a paper flower when he proposed) and a paper corsage for Ricky.  Karen also picks Hannie and Nancy to be her bridesmaids, and tells Ricky to wear a suit to the wedding, and Ricky reluctantly agrees. And Karen decides “being nice to Natalie” is asking Natalie to play the violin at Karen’s wedding. Natalie can only play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Karen says that is fine. Yeah how is being nice to Natalie having her play the violin for YOUR wedding, Karen? Well Natalie seems happy to be part of the wedding.  The day of the wedding, Nancy and Hannie wear matching dressses, and Ricky has picked Hank Reubens and Bobby Gianelli to be his ushers. Most of the kids are very dressed up for Karen’s stupid wedding.

So Karen and Ricky get married by some girl named Audrey in the class during recess.  Karen and Ricky exchange plastic spider rings. Oh God I don’t care about Ricky and Karen’s stupid wedding. I liked Stephanie and Henry’s wedding on Full House a lot more.  And Ricky actually kisses Karen’s cheek when Audrey says it’s time to kiss the bride as the kids are all ewwww.

In class after recess, Ricky gives Karen an official ” wedding ring” a big plastic blue ring with a stone in it. Karen is all ” I am a wife and Ricky is my husband and we are in love and starry eyed.” Stupid Karen then debates over whether or not to change her name to Karen Torres or Karen Brewer- Torres now that she is married. Karen then decides she is, and always will be, Karen Brewer. Wow this book was gigundo BORING!!!


8 Responses to “BSC Little Sister #15-Karen’s in Love”

  1. Stupid Karen.

    I think this is why we had to make cards for all the kids in our class, not just a few, as a general rule.

    I hope Ricky leaves Karen for Pamela!

  2. “First of all, Karen Brewer and Ricky Torres are the two fugliest ( or most fug??) children I have ever seen!!!! EWWWWWWWWWW!” If they actually marry one another when they grow up, imagine how hideous their demonic spawn would be.

    I hate the word GIGUNDO! Rawr, Karen!

  3. Wasn’t Stephanie’s husband on Full House named Harry, not Henry? LOL. I know it’s OT, but I couldn’t resist correcting that. And I know I probably shouldn’t even remember something like that, but sadly, I do. 😉

    • Oh yeah, he was. Harry Takayama.

      • girltalkread Says:

        thanks I stand corrected!!! you have good memories! Well still Steph’s wedding was much better than Karen’s- and better than when Michelle wanted to pretend marry Steve, too- now THAT was lame!!!! And yeah Fear Street I hope to God Karen and Ricky didn’t grow up and get married and produce evil, ugly spawn!

  4. Do seven-year-olds really think in terms of having crushes and shit? I’m pretty sure no one in my class did at that age.

  5. this has to be one of the dumbest books ever!! Karen and Ricky…two nerds getting married!! i dont remember ever liking guys in second grade…

  6. Great site I’m happy I stumbled onto it through my friend’s blog. Going to need to add another blog to the morning routine

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